Memorial Day.....

Today is Memorial 2010. It's kind of insane how quickly a year has gone by. It's amazing 10+years have gone by since I graduated high school. Being around all these high school/college kids - really doesn't make me feel old - until I start talking about some stuff and they look at me like "what?" - THEN I feel old. But they all seemed to have thought (until I told them) that I was really young. Yesterday one of them even said I look like I could've gone to prom with him. Ya.

So I suppose now would be a good time to do some retrospecting.....y?/y:

1 Year Ago - I had moved home to PA earlier in the month. I believe on Memorial Day I went to the gym and went to my neighborhood BBQ.

2 Years Ago - I was at New Smyrna and figuring out that what I wanted from a guy and what I needed from a guy were two different things. Weird how when you have THAT much free time you can think about stuff like that.

3 Years Ago - I believe I had my first BBQ of the Summer at Trish's - it was right after I moved in so we celebrated. Sigh, I do miss Florida and everyone.

4 Years Ago - I'm pretty sure I came home for Memorial Day Weekend. It was shortly after I moved down to Florida and most likely drove home for the weekend. Yeah - that was one of several DRIVES I decided I could do in a day (which of course I did).

5 Years Ago - I was in Michigan. I celebrated Memorial Day with Dan, PK, and Tamara. It was right after I had moved out to my own place. I actually worked ON Memorial Day (it was the start of HELL for me at 9and10 for the following 7 months). But nonetheless, I had a good time with my friends (as always).

6 Years Ago - I am pretty sure I was still in Michigan. I don't think I came home for the weekend because I was taking Summer classes at CMU. I'm pretty sure it was the lamest Memorial Day weekend I've had to date.

7 Years Ago - I was home for Memorial Day because it was right after College. I was still miserable (as I was for awhile).....but I was living at my aunt and uncles for the summer watching my cousins. WOW - can't believe that was 7 years ago! TIME FLIES!


Before all that - I was in college and high school so all my Memorial Day's were celebrated at my house with my neighbors....OH! with the exception of Senior year of HS - but it was later after the BBQ - Rick's infamous party where the tables turned in my direction for the rest of the school year. Haha. OOOOOOh high school. But that's a different story for a different time.

For now, I leave you with this:
"I thank god for my life...and for the stars and stripes...may freedom forever fly..."

The weekend....so far

It is ONLY Sunday - which means I still have a Sunday and Monday shift at the swim club. Rah rah! No but seriously, I am actually enjoying it. I'm on my feet a lot - which is a double edged sword. It's great because it keeps me active (read: helps burn extra calories) but by the end of the day I'm exhaustified! Ha. I suppose I'll get used to it. On the real though - the guards are great, they're fun, and of course some of them are awkward so they don't want to do anything. That'll change quickly. I'll make it change. Here's hoping today is as smooth as yesterday was. We had a decent amount of people at the club - probably more today since it'll be hotter.

An awkward update:
So, last night after I got off work, Reagan came over as agreed. We went to his friend Jay's house to grill and hang out. It was fun. Oddest thing happened. I got a text message from Derek. Yes. That Derek. The Ex-boyfriend Derek. Ya. He asked me to send him updates on the Flyers game. He was at a wedding and I guess there were no TV's where he was. Sucks to be him. Not only did he miss a crazy hockey game (even though the flyboys lost) but he also missed Roy Halladay throwing a perfect game! ha! How's that for karma.

I just thought it was weird. It's weird yes? Yes. Why me? He obviously assumed I'd be watching the game - and while I was - why me? Why not his brother? Why not his parents? Why not ANYONE ELSE THAT HE KNEW/KNOWS FROM THIS AREA? Reagan made the comment that maybe since he's moving out to Oregon, he wants to see if he has a chance with you. I was like - WHAT? That doesn't make any sense. But Reagan went on: "Well he's moving out to Oregon but he's coming home at some point this Summer for a bit. Maybe he's testing the waters.....to see..." At which point he didn't finish his sentence, because he didn't need to.

No.

I am not going down that road again. Plain and simple. Why is it that all my ex-boyfriends seemingly think that I'm the proverbial "go-to" person when shit gets tough? I know why - because I welcome it. Don't I? I tell them they can call me/contact me if they need anything....it's my own fault. I guess I just put it out there because I figure they move on like I do and won't contact me. Turns out - I'm wrong. Simon does it. Derek does it. Joe does it. Josh does it. TJ used to do it. Ben E does it.

Am I wrong? It's weird, no? But again, I suppose it's my fault for telling them we can be friends. There are only a few I'm not friends with. Well one really. Ben from last year. He's not worth it. And I don't need any more friends.

Anyway - now that that's off my mind. I'm off to spin class to burn off some of this beer I drank last night - then probably an extended run on the treadmill afterwards since I didn't work out yesterday. Fun fuN!

Adventures.....

That's right, this one is just part of the many adventures in my life.

Yesterday, I bailed on Dave. I told him I couldn't make it - he simply said, "That's ok, just shoot me a text when you want to hang out again". Nice of him. But in my mind I knew I wouldn't be texting him again.

Instead - I went over to my best friend's house where we drank a nice bottle of wine and had wonderful conversation! Remember that last post? With my list of things? Numbers 2 and 5 - ACCOMPLISHED! Thanks Jacks:-)

Even though today is supposed to be a day off - I still have a ton of errands to run. The day's adventures are as follows: [[Sidenote: We had thunderstorms last night. I thought it was supposed to be cooler today? Why is it so effing humid?]]
1. Spin Class - since I work 9-4 on Saturday and Reagan is coming over to hang out, I won't have any time to workout so I've GOT to go today.
2. Stop by PSC - pick up (hopefully) my paycheck. Print out the Newsletter and put copies out. Do any odds and ends that need to be taken care of.
3. Stop by Cabrini and drop off the last of my Student Teaching papers [[Sidenote: Dr. Arp can kiss my ass....another story for another time]]
4. Go to target and pick up a scrap book for my dad's birthday present.
5. Go to Conicelli and look at the Honda Civic's. Supposedly it's a comparable trade to the one I have now and the deal to lease one is crazy good - so my dad told me to take my sister to go test drive one. Cool!
6. Homework for my EDG class for next week.
7. Pick up Gus and Will from the Cricket Club at 5:30 today - then drop them off at home to pick up my check and give back the key I still have in my purse.


So needless to say, I have A LOT of adventures to do today - so much for a day off! :-/

On the adventures in dating front: in my awesome time with my bestest last night - she said to me, "you seem like you're more excited to go out with the guys you don't meet online". She's right. It's true. I am. I think I might give the online stuff a bit of break for now. At least, until my own life has calmed down a bit.

Does anybody really know what time it is?....

I feel like this all the time lately. I have a few updates - both in the Dating Adventures and Life Adventures....Dating Adventures first...

I haven't heard from Aaron all week except for a few gchat IM's on Monday. I'm actually pretty fine with this. To be honest - it's almost better if we "lose touch" in the sense that I don't have to tell him "I'm Just Not That Into You" and give him the whole schpeil. You know what I'm talking about.

Dave texted me and called me yesterday, asking if I'd be interested in grabbing dinner again this Thursday. I told him, sure....but now I don't think I should even bother. I mean, I really think he's a great guy but I can already tell it's not gonna go farther than that. Honestly, I feel like that's the case with a lot of these guys.

I talked to a new guy last night, Chad. He seems nice too. He's a Yankees fan though, not sure about that one. But my week is SO busy and I'm working all weekend so we decided to try and get together some time next week.

Also - last week, a guy came into the GPS office at work. He was interviewing for a professor job. We got to chatting and turns out he works at the same school as my mom. Long story short, he asked her for my number! He's a cutie. Definitely kissable. And absolutely has all the qualifications I am looking for. Here's hoping he calls me! (fingers crossed!)

On to life adventures.....

Speaking of being SO busy - I seriously thought this week would be a little bit better. Less overwhelmed, second week into work and class. Not so. Turns out, this is all just the beginning! I'm kind of hoping that all of the chaos will die down after my class is over - which means I just have to put up with this lifestyle for four more weeks. yikes! I suppose in the grand scheme of things it's not THAT bad. I realized there are a few things that I really could go for on a nightly basis these days. They are as follows:
1. A really good back massage/rub - who couldn't go for one of these (I swear my shoulders are always in knots these days, definitely has to do with the stress).
2. A case of Sam Adam's Summer Ale and/or a HUGE BOTTLE of White Wine. Ya. I really could (every night).
3. A Pile of nachos and/or a huge giant plate of cheese bread from Couch Tomato. (hey, sue me, when I get stressed I like to drink and eat)[[Sidenote: I've also noticed I've been eating dessert EVERY night of the week. Clearly this is a temporary insanity mission. At least it's not a pound of chocolate each night. MUST GET BACK TO JUICING!]]
4. A HUGE hug in which someone will hold me for an extended period of time. I've realized that I haven't had one of these since my last breakdown with my father when I was crying my eyes out. Ya. Sometimes you just need a good squeeze.
5. In reference to 2 and 3 - good conversation which obviously means good company. One usually goes with the other.

I often find myself these days forgetting what the day of the week is, what time it is, and where I need to be next. I have SO much to get done before the 30th. I need to get all my student teaching stuff into Cabrini. I suppose I'll do that tomorrow morning with my homework. Just one more thing to add to the list!

100th Post!!!, Update, and More tips....

Soooooo, I've had this blog for nearly two years - hard to believe - and this is JUST my 100th post. My posting pattern seems to ebb and flow at times. If I'm busier it obviously falls by the wayside but despite my busy-ness lately - I've been updating regularly. That being said - this will just be like any other post - maybe 101 will be superduper special! Ha. Onto the Update:

Update on Adventures in Dating #7. Remember James? The one with the 2 1/2 year old daughter? So I'm at my faculty meeting for Cabrini today and I get a text (keep in mind, it's 11:56 when I get the first one). The conversation went as follows:

James: Would you like to do lunch today?
Me: (knowing full well what I wanted to say but kept it to this) If I could get away I would. I'm in a meeting until 1 and I'm house/kid sitting until 8pm tonight. Hope all is well.
James: Things are good:) Hope all is well with you too.

You see that conversation?! The one right above this sentence. Yeah. WTF?! This directly relates to the NOTES FOR GUYS post I wrote a bit back. Seriously.

TIP #8 - If you want to go out for lunch, dinner, coffee, etc. - DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT CALL OR TEXT ME THAT DAY AND EXPECT ME TO BE AVAILABLE. Seriously! Have some effing common courtesy for reals. I have a life. Just because you happen to be available at that time - doesn't mean I will be. On top of which, if you knew you were going to be available then, ask me the day before. Am I right? [[Sidenote: I do realize that it's possible things just opened up for him and he thought, "it can't hurt to ask, she might be free, right?" totally ok if you present the situation like that. But when I haven't heard from you in nearly three weeks - don't expect me to just JUMP at the chance to see you. I usually take guys' numbers out of my phone if I haven't heard from them in three weeks - can't believe his is still in there.]] I just don't get people who do that. It's one thing when it's a friend. That's totally different. But when it someone you hardly know - at least have some common decency to ask a day in advance. y/y?

Adventures in Dating - UPDATE...and more

Remember Adventure #9? Yeah - I got a text message from him today. Just asking me how my house sitting was going. That was nice of him. He's headed to the Phillies game tonight - hope it doesn't rain!

I'm tired. Beat.

Today - I took it easy. No working out - (I did a double yesterday Run and Swim) - but I ate a lot of crap. I'll try to get a salad or something for dinner tonight. Hopefully that'll make me feel better. I'm pretty tired though. And these kids - THEY'RE DRAINING! I'm exhausted. Seriously.

Elsewhere - I'm kind of at my wits end here. I'm just really exhausted and I haven't done a whole lot this weekend. Maybe it's everything catching up to me because I've been non-stop all week. I kind of want to pig out still - get some nachos and whatnot. Still trying to keep to my healthy eating pattern. Blerg.

I've been thinking - and this is all based on something a good friend of mine said - maybe I should just take a break from this whole dating thing. I seriously feel like it's all a forced situation. I think everything should kind of develop naturally. Like I met this guy that's actually a teacher with my mom at her school. That could work? Probably not. Or the guy from my English class? Maybe? Probably not. (wow I'm negative Nancy aren't I?)

The truth is - I didn't expect my life to be like this at this point. I didn't really know what my life would be like - but I didn't really think it'd resemble this. I suppose all I can do is keep on keepin' on? Yes?

Somewhere along the way - a friend told me it's possible I'm the one that's making the wrong moves...that's possible. But I don't think it's just one thing. I think it's a series of events that kind of all come together at the right time. Moments that probably could've worked out but didn't....times you wish you could take back....events that unfold that lead to unexpected and surprising results. But still - I'm at this place where I kind of just feel stuck. I don't think I'm the only one to feel like that but right now it feels as though I'm the only one experiencing it.

Anyway - just wanted to give that update and that momentary "sigh".

Adventures in Dating - How do I get rid of this one?

HA! Yes, that's an awful subject line and YES, I know it's mean. Some people are reading this saying, "You should be so luck that these guys want to keep going out with you" and others are saying, "here's how you do it...." The ones that are saying the ladder statement....TELL ME HOW!

Needless to say - I went out again with Aaron. This time I picked the place but there were a lot of factors going in to this situation. This week has been crazy busy for me. The fact that I even had time to go out with Dave was impressive enough. But Aaron was persistent and kept asking and kept asking. I finally gave in. Albeit - I am house/kid sitting this weekend so essentially I already knew I didn't really want to go out. Wait til you hear what I did :-) haha.

Date #4
I've said this before - Aaron is a nice guy. He's fun to hang out with. We have good conversations, etc. As of last night though - I found myself not really listening to what he was saying. Becoming less interested in his view points and seemingly aware of where I'd rather be (read: anywhere else but there. Awful right! I feel bad). So we met up around 9 at Kellys and had a few beers. [[Sidenote: prior to my arrival - I had to push back the time to meet him three times because I was picking up Gus from a school field trip. Aaron was being really patient. Also...when I originally parked I parked WAY too far away from the bar...so I walked a good portion and then turned around. It was a humid night so I was getting uncomfortable. But eventually I made my way to the bar..thankgoodness for beer!]] I got a Sam Adams Summer Ale - ZOMG I forgot how good they were! I'm totally buying a six pack when I get back to my house this week. DELICIOUS! But I digress.

Here's something you need to know prior to this date: When Gus and Will (the kids I'm watching for the weekend) found out I was going on a date, they gave the typical 13 year old response..."ooooooo Katie! Can we go?! Is he coming here? I wanna meet him!" etc. To which I obviously replied NO and NO and NO. Aaron did ask if I wanted to be picked up but I'm not ready for that (which is also something I'll get to in a bit). So I told Will and Gus to call me at 10PM (an hour after I planned on meeting Aaron) to tell me something was wrong at the house. Yup. I totally did that. Yup. It's totally wrong. They were all excited and whatnot.

Back to the date: So 10PM rolls around and I get a phone call from Will - Gus had fallen asleep. I knew that leaving the bar at that point was too early. Plus I was enjoying my beer. And yes, Aaron's company. But after I hung up with Will, I texted him and told him to call me in an hour - ha! And he did. Which gave me a chance to go home.

I have to admit. I am starting to feel bad about all of it. I know he likes me - that's nice to be liked. I do like spending time with him...but I just don't feel the chemistry and ya gotta have chemistry right?

As I was leaving he asked me what I was doing tomorrow/tonight? I said it depended on what the boys were doing because obviously they're my priority this weekend - to which he responded with, "Oh I could come over and hang out! It'd be fun! I'd help them harass you and whatnot....." Now, in my mind I'm thinking - He thinks we're at the point where I'm comfortable letting him come over and hang out. WE'RE NOT. Not only that but these are kids that are impressionable. I don't want them meeting someone that I barely know, let alone inviting them to their house. I don't think Barb (their mom) would appreciate it and honestly I was kind of caught off guard that he just kind of invited himself over. Ya. Maybe I'm thinking about this too hard but based on how I feel and knowing that I don't want to continue dating/seeing him - he was not/is not coming over.

I told him I'd let him know.

How do I let him down nicely? How do I tell him I'm just not feelin' it? I feel like that's something that's a face to face thing - but how do I do that? Usually I just don't hear back from the guy and I'm like , "whew, in the clear" - which I know, conversely when you really like the guy and he doesn't call back it's like, "oooookay this sucks". ya

So...any suggestions, comments, ideas....all are welcome. So long as their constructive!

Adventures in Dating - Part 9

Before I get to the nitty gritty - I went out (after my date) to Thomas' last night. SO MUCH FUN! My face seriously hurt from smiling and laughing so much! I have the best best friend evah! :-) k now that that's out of the way....On to Dating Adventure #9 with Dave.

Adventures in Dating - Part 9: Dave
First and foremost, as y'all know, I pretty much give anyone a chance - as long as they look normal, have a few interests that are the same as me, and probably are fun to hang out with. Dave was no exception. He was really nice. TALL. (I didn't realize he was completely bald until I met him) and big. Not big in the sense that he was overweight - but big in the sense that he looked like he could rip you to shreds in a second. I suppose it's beneficial to look that way in the Navy :-) [[Sidenote: if no one starts humming this tune or begins singing the Village People's song...."In the Navy....Yes, you can sail the seven seas...In the Navy...Yes, you can put your mind at ease..." what's wrong with you?! Go listen to YMCA]] His build is not my typical type - I usually date guys who are pretty slender and athletic looking. But I liked how tall he was :-)

But I digress....back to what's really important....the 5 w's and the h. The How we already know. The Who...clearly a great band...so which Roger Daltrey didnt look like he was two steps into his grave....ah again, I digress. We know who - Dave. The When - Thursday night - 8 pm - after my class. Where? Coopers which is actually right next to Jake's and the link is actually for Jake's....owned by the same people. I had never been there - which became pretty obvious when I couldn't figure out exactly where it was. But I heard good things about the food (p.s. the MUSHROOM PIZZA - omg todiefor!). And the wine selection was alright. A little pricey but hey, I wasn't payin'! and Why? - because he asked :-)

Date #1
So I actually get out of class early and figure I'll just head down and be early - no biggie. I got to Manayunk in 20 minutes and the rest of the time (read: 40 minutes) I spent trying to find a parking spot. UGH! Frustrating to say the least. But. I finally got there. Met up with Dave. We sat down and started chatting. Like I said, the food was good. We had a pretty nice conversation. Rehashed a few of our own horror stories with dating and both agreed that DATING SUCKS. And he talked about his exgirlfriend a lot. Like - to the point where I knew she was stalking him. [[Sidenote: Ladies - these are two red flags! When a guy talks about his ex ON THE FIRST DATE - unless it's an ex from YEARS ago - no so much with the good. Other red flag - if you know she's stalking him - stay away! You don't want none of that drama. For prior reference to avoiding drama read my Adventures with Shane. Just be like Mary J go with the whole "No More Drama" rule. Makes like that much easier.]] But dinner was good. We talked a lot - conversation seemed to flow. It was getting later - just after 10 and we both agreed it was probably time to head out. He told me he wanted to walk me to my car but obviously I had other plans. I invited him to come to Karaoke if he wanted and could meet a few friends. He accepted.

I don't know if he's just not comfortable with new people or with crowds but he seemed pretty shy. I was surprised. He bought me a beer. I think he was a little thrown with the excitement level of the guys singing. Nonetheless, after about an hour - he headed out. Said he'd shoot me a text today and gave me a hug. I have to admit - I did have a good time - but that guy.....might not call me. I would be surprised if he did. Either way....just another adventure in dating!

Note(s) to Guys

In sticking with my theme of dating adventures and guys - I thought it might be a nice little break (while I'm in between dates for the week. [[sidenote: I have a date tomorrow night with a new guy - Adventure No. 9!, and Aaron asked me out again]]. That being said, I'd like to write out a few notes or "tips" for guys in the dating world. DISCLAIMER: I am by no means a professional dater, nor do I possess the ability to tell people what they should or shouldn't do when they're on a date with you....but....if you're looking for someone who thinks (read: has no idea) she knows what she's doing...then read on:

Tips for Guys
1. Chivalry isn't and should NEVER die - HOLD DOORS OPEN for women.

2. Adding on to #1, Hold car doors open for them too. I mean, c'mon. I know we don't live in the 50's any more but really? Since when is being nice no longer acceptable? Sheesh

3. BE ON TIME OR EARLY! I don't even know how much I can stress this tip. It's not enough that you made a date to meet the girl or see her again but for pete's sake, be there before her. No woman likes to wait for a guy. It should always be the other way around [[sidenote: obviously there are issues that are unavoidable: traffic, accidents, major emergency's. Trust us, we get it. But if you have nothing else going on and you knew more than a few days in advance what time you were planning on meeting us, BE THERE.]]

4. Don't be wishy washy - especially prior to the first date. Girls like a guy who have a bit of a "take charge" attitude. And when I say this, don't read that I'm saying you have to make all the decisions but IF YOU DO THE ASKING OUT - YOU BETTER BE ASKING HER TO A PLACE YOU'VE THOUGHT OF ALREADY. [[sidenote: this is also an interesting situation. I realize a lot of guys will say, "well we want the girl to pick that way we know they'll like the place, food, feel comfortable, etc. Do us a favor....GET TO KNOW US THEN FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU THINK THEY MIGHT LIKE. ALSO - what makes you think we wouldn't like a place you like? We're obviously agreeing to go out with you for a reason. Stick up for what you like. If she ends up not liking it, you know for next time. Besides...in first date situations..the place/restaurant should be the LAST thing you talk about, esp if you're really in-to each other. Conversation will take care of the other stuff.]]

5. And speaking of conversation - DO NOT TALK ABOUT YOURSELF THE WHOLE TIME! I realize in a lot of first, second, and third date situations this is inevitable...but it shouldn't be one-sided. See dating adventure no. 3 with Rich. That kind of situation is the BEST way to get a girl to never want to see/talk/date you again.

6. When talking to a girl on the phone - hour long conversations are NOT NECESSARY. Aside from the fact that you or she are probably not big phone talkers - anything longer than 30 minutes is TOO LONG. Besides, if you're planning on seeing her, talk face to face! Technology takes so much of the element of intrigue and "chase" out of the dating scenario these days. Leave a little something for the actual date. Trust me - it is much better this way.

7. (Note for both sexes) DO NOT CRITICIZE! Being critical of someone/judgmental of someone's choices and how they're living their life is not a turn on. READ: TURN OFF. Big one! It's different when it's someone you've been dating for awhile - and even then I really think it should be kept to a minimum....but when you go into a dating situation knowing that the other person is already really busy - accept it or don't but don't make comments/criticisms about "how busy they are" or "how they have no time" or "it's been so long since we've seen each other I almost forgot what you looked like". It doesn't help said person saying the comments and if the person you're saying the comments to has any sense, they'll dump your ass. Case in point. Understand everyone has a life. Some are busier than others. Deal with it or find someone that has no life. It's your choice. But don't judge.

As for right now - those 7 are pretty big. I'm sure along the way there will be more to add to this list. Also - if any one can think of any more - feel free to let me know - I'll add them to the list.

Adventures in Dating - RE-Revisited

I suppose I should start making part A and part B for second and third dates....but aside from Ryan and Aaron - I haven't gone out more than once with any of these guys. But - this adventure is Date #3 with Aaron.

Date #3
So last night I went out with Aaron again - this time, I met a bunch of his friends. We went out for his best friend's girlfriend's birthday at a place called Mad Mex. Awesome AWESOME place! I definitely want to go back with my friends some time. Food is great. But let me back up a bit.

So I drove over to Aaron's house (to avoid him picking me up and having to meet my family). We got a ride with his other friend Aaron and Vanessa (bf/gf). Very nice, very friendly. I actually kind of got the sense that Aaron (the one who drove) was kind of taking an interest - all the questions and the staring at dinner kind of tipped me off....especially the four or five times I caught him looking at me (and saw it out of the corner of my eye). Oh he's cute - but he's taken - off limits. Also - Aaron's roommate - the one I thought was cute - has a girlfriend. Also off limits. [[Sidenote: is it horrible that I'm making comments like this? I suppose if I'm still looking at other guys - it probably means I'm not that interested in Aaron? Which I guess I knew already anyway...]] But I digress....

SO we all drive down to the restaurant - get there - there are a few of their friends there already. All very nice to meet them. There was about 15 of us - so I didn't get to talk to everyone - but the ones I did talk to - super cool. Like I said, very friendly, very welcoming. I could tell that it is a rare occasion that Aaron would bring someone out with the rest of them - esp since they made comments like - "hey aaron you brought a date...good for you buddy". I don't know. I thought that was weird - another tip off that led me to write the first part of this post. We'll get back to that later though.

So I had a few beers - nothing crazy - dinner was exceptionally awesome! Lots of veggie stuff to eat. It was interesting to see what he was like around his friends. He's kind of boisterous. A little un-filtered, almost kind of obnoxious. He was drinking so it was a different side of him. None of those things were that bad or anything but being that it was only the third time we went out, I was kind of put off that it got to the point where I was talking more to his friends than to him. It seemed exactly like I thought it was - he's the guy in their group that doesn't usually have a girl with him so he doesn't have to worry about "entertaining" anyone. And I'm totally not one of those people that needs someone to pay attention to them all the time - but I mean - come on - we're on a date. No big deal. I just rolled with the punches. But it kind of got to the point where I had more fun with his friends than him - not a good sign.

Here's the deal for me:
1. I can not keep hanging out with him just because I like his friends. Yes, they're fun. Yes, they're nice. Yes, if I were out I'd want to hang out with them as my friends too....but that doesn't make it ok to keep hanging out with him and leading him on just so I can hang out with his awesome friends.

2. I'm pretty sure I won't have to figure out how to let him down just yet. I'm busy all week and so is he. Almost a blessing in disguise. Is that mean? ha

3. I'm still not all that attracted to him. Like I mentioned before, I don't think it's a good sign when you're looking at other guys during conversation or when you're eying up his friends because you can't help but notice how cute they all are.

It really is a shame though because he seems like he'd be a great friend to have if nothing more than to hang out and watch sports. But. I don't need any more friends to do that with...and I'm sure he doesn't want that. So. bleh.

But to get back to the date.....
So we all leave around 11 and eventually make our way to the car - we had originally planned to go out in Manayunk but while on our way back we figured it was getting late and opted just to head back. Fine by me. I mean it would've been fine to stay out because I really was having a good time but I didn't really care either way.

So they drop us off - and Aaron asks me if I want to come in for a bit but decline and say I should probably head home. We end up talking for a bit before I actually leave. He kisses me again. This time is a little better than the last. But - it didn't leave me wanting more....so....I realized on my way home that I'm glad to have met him. He's a nice guy. But it's probably not going to work out. There's no spark for me. There's no chemistry for me. Maybe he feels something but, I don't.

A separate post about guys on dating sites next time....

Adventures in Dating - Part 8

Onward and .....upward?.....we'll see. So here's where I tell you how much I really am starting to enjoy this dating thing.....except I still really don't. Before I get into my 8th adventure - I wanna put some things into perspective (for myself).

I mentioned before that I don't really like dating. I feel like I won't meet anyone in the manner that I am, etc. Here are my reasons: I feel like meeting someone online is forced in a way. It's like - here, you can read about me in a profile and we can get matched up based on questions we've been asked by an online dating site and we SHOULD like each other. Yes? Sounds pretty simple. It is. But here's the deal - I just - I don't know. I still feel really uncomfortable that THIS is the way I have to meet guys and go out with them. Do I like being treated to dinner? Yes. Is it nice to have someone genuinely interested in me? Absolutely. But am I genuinely interested in them? I don't know.

Here's what creeps into my mind at times like this - why are these guys on this site? Is it because they're at the same juncture in their life too? Were they're over the bar scene and are pretty busy with their lives that they don't have time to meet someone? Are they more interested in finding someone that "meets certain requirements" they have? Either way - all of these things - those are certainly understandable. But when they're on the site because they don't have experience or don't have "luck with the ladies" so to speak - it shows. And I say it this way for a few reasons. 1. You know which guys those are based on their pictures (that's awful and stereotypical but true). Some people have the opinion that if a guy is on a dating site and he puts pictures up with girls that he's friends with it that's bad - personally - I actually prefer guys that have pictures with friends - both guys and girls - because it tells me he has a good relationship with both sexes and isn't too much of a guy that he can't get the female perspective. 2. When you start going out with them - based on conversations you're having - you can tell that they haven't had that many or any relationships in the past. Of course - out of courtesy they might not be talking about exes or because they aren't sure if you're going to get jealous or whathaveyou. Again - for me - it helps me to see what I'm starting with I guess. I don't know - am I making any sense?

Ok - enough of that tangent/diatribe - onward...

Adventures in Dating - Part #8: Tom
So Tom was another guy I met on the free dating site. He sent me a message. I guess he liked what he saw. His profile and pictures weren't anything to brag about (that's mean but I mean - you're kind of selling yourself on these sites...I mean, c'mon. A little effort?) Nonetheless, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. And we exchanged several emails. Nice guy. Funny. Sarcastic. Similar outlook on things. So we finally agree to meet up.

Date #1
Here's the worst way to make a first impression. Tell a guy where to meet you - but then get confused as to where the place is yourself!

We agreed to meet at a Japanese Hibachi place which has changed names more times than I've changed my wardrobe decisions. So I got there and actually walked in and sat down. Started thinking to myself that maybe he'll think it's the wrong place and leave. So I double check that I have the right place and tell him I'm an idiot, blah blah. Turns out I was at the right place all along. And I show up - he's waiting there. Hah. Good start.

But regardless - we go in - sit down. We're the only ones in there. Which is fine but at the same time kind of weird. I could tell he was a little nervous. And a few times I caught him offguard and his face went all flush. It was kind of cute. He's cute in an unsuspecting way. Like he's not one of those people you'd see on the street and be like - OMG he's so hot - but he's cute.

I thought we might not have that much to talk about considering how much we talked about prior to meeting but our conversation was good and there was never a lull or an awkward moment. It was comfortable and again I felt like I ended up talking most of the time. There was just one moment I thought was a little weird - when he asked me if I was popular in high school. Not weird in a bad way or anything - but just odd kind of. IDK. Whatever.

So after a few hours we walked out. He quasi walked me to my car and was just like "goodnight". Didn't even attempt a hug. Maybe he's shy? Maybe he doesn't hug on the first date. Listen - I don't expect to get kisses from guys on first dates - and I certainly don't openly invite them unless I'm attracted to them - so it's totally fine he didn't even give me a hug. It was just like - I thought - did he not know what to do so he erred on the side of nothing? ha:-) Whatever.

As for Tom - we've since chatted and we both agreed we'd like to hang out again - I feel bad though because both times he's asked so far I've been busy - I suppose if it's meant to be - it'll happen.

My schedule has lessened a bit but this dating more than one person thing is taxing!

Taking a Breather....

So before I get to my next adventure (and the one I'll have to write about after tonight's new adventure), I want to take a moment to reassess some of the things I'm changing in my life.

I started the journey of my Second Master's degree this time last year. About a month after I moved home, I started my first class. I can't believe a year has gone by already! Craziness. SO much has happened in this year. Good, Bad, and TERRIBLE. And I do mean Terrible. But nonetheless - I'm still walking/standing and on good terms with my body. That being said - here's a few changes I'm undertaking:

1. Originally I was signed up for 3 summer classes this year. This has since been changed. I am now only taking 1 summer class. My sanity, healthy, and social life will thank me at some point in July :-). I have to prep for two praxis exams and I have a job at a swim club that are both going to take a lot of my time. Plus - this gives me more free time to work (read:make money). YESSSSSS!

2. I am signing up for both the ING Rock n' Roll Half Marathon (formerly the Philly Distance Run) in September and the Philly Half Marathon in November. I know I felt as thought I never wanted to run again - but I think if I just approach it with a better attitude (read: not worry about how fast I go) - I'll enjoy it much more. Plus - I like running. I feel good when I do it.

3. As soon as my bike is back - I'm planning on riding outside. See #1 - yeah - I'll have more free time to ride too - YAY!

4. I'm hoping with more money making, to keep saving to move out of my mom's house. As nice as it's been to be rent free, I really miss not having my own place/space to come home to. I'm really ready to have my own stuff and decorate and leave the dishes in the sink if I want to.

5. Obviously the dating has been a big change for me - but I'm trying to keep my options open. I have a few more logs on the fire - none set in stone but we'll see. Wait till I get to the adventure about the guy from my English class :-) hehe!

6. I'm seriously thinking about doing P90X. Last week I was kind of like - bleh - but - I have a few friends that have the DVDS - maybe they'll let me burn them and then do the workouts?

7. I really want to start reading for pleasure again. I miss it. Hopefully I'll get to do that this summer now that I don't have so many classes to take.

8. I'm expecting some major refundage from my dropping two classes and waiting for the refund from Montco from the class I dropped earlier this year. This money will help with bill paying and other fun times ahead - read: travel! Yay :-)

9. I really need to start eating better - I'm thinking of going completely veggie for the summer. I mean - not even fish. That'll be hard because of how much I love sushi but I think it could be good for me.

10. I need to stop and take time and breathe every once in a while! DON'T FORGET TO DO THAT!

muah! until the next adventure:-)

Adventures in Dating - Revisited

This post is a continuation of Adventure Part 6: Aaron. We went out on our second date last night. I figured I'd get to this before I got to Adventure No. 8 since it's still fresh in my mind.

Date #2
We had originally planned to get together the night before - but since the Flyers ended up winning their previous game - it meant there was a Game 6 the same night so we postponed (he has season tickets) to the next day. Fine - no biggie. If it were me - I'dve done the same thing.

So we meet up at Baggataway Tavern after I get finished at swim practice (coaching). I'm not nervous - nothing. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I mean - I like hanging out with him. We have great conversations. So I suppose I'll chalk it up to being a good thing.

We order a pitcher of beer, get food, start chatting. And sure enough - there's a band (well really two guys playing guitars, but it's all the same) - and we're right near them - so it limits the amount we can talk. So. We finish dinner and Aaron asks me if I want to go for a walk. I was like - oooook. I mean. There's not that many places to walk around in that area so we headed out over the bridge and just talked. It was nice. We learned a lot about each other. I told him about my ED and Rachel. And where I was in my life as far as finding someone. It was nice that he understood. I don't know if he knows exactly what I was talking about - but he listened which was nice. I found out a lot more about him - what his life was like growing up - him feeling like he needed to take care of his family, etc. So we have that in common. I also found out his ethnicity (which up to this point was still a mystery to me.). I didn't care - I just wasn't sure what it was. [[Sidenote: He's Asian and Irish. What a weird combination. Never would've guessed. I suppose anything is possible. Of course he was surprised to find out I was Italian too so...I guess we all have our own little surprises...]]

We talked for awhile - and I agreed to go out with him this weekend. I'm going to meet all his friends (or a decent amount of them). It's one of their B-day's. I have to admit - I'm a little nervous about that. Sometimes friends can be critical....mine aren't but I've been in situations where inviting a new person can be kind of - awkward. Another story for another time though. So.....obviously that'll be date #3.

The night ended. He gave me a couple of kisses (he's not the greatest kisser....but whatever). And we parted ways.

Interestingly enough - for as good of a time I had with him - it wasn't the reason I went home smiling :-) But that's another story for another post :-)

Adventures in Dating - Part 7

Now, just because I went on a great date with Aaron doesn't mean I was going to just be like - "ok that's it - I don't need to meet other people. In fact, just prior to my date that Thursday night, I went out for lunch that afternoon with someone else. James.

Adventures in Dating - Part 7:James
James was a little different than the other guys. Mainly because while I had spent a few weeks getting to know Aaron - James pretty much emailed me on Eharmony and was like - would you like to get together some time? And I was kind of enchanted with the forwardness but later I realized it was because he has limited time and don't necessarily have time to "lolligag" so to speak. So I accepted and we set a time to meet on Thursday afternoon at Bubble House .

Date #1
Traffic was horrible getting down there so I was a little late and he was waiting for me. YESSSSSS he wasn't late. He was cute and very nice. Seemed like a nice guy. We had lunch and talked and it was good conversation. He has a 2 1/2 year old daughter which is what makes his time limited. No big deal. I love kids - but my time is pretty limited too. And honestly I'm not at the point in my life where I'm ready to build my schedule around someone with a kid. That sounds horrible but...I just am not ready for that yet.

In the middle of the conversation he asked me what I was doing the next afternoon and over the weekend. I told him I couldn't meet up the next day because I had homework (which I did - two finals to study for) and that I was busy this weekend. But I did tell him to call me.

We parted ways after lunch and about an hour and a half. He hugged me and I walked to my car - alone. Whatevs. I didn't expect anything after that. But Bubble House was great - definitely would go there again.

So the next day he sent me a text - "happy friday katie" - to which I did not respond. What do you say to that besides the same thing back? nah. No dice.

And that was that. I haven't heard from him since. It's been a week. Honestly - it's totally okay. No sweat off my back. He's a nice enough guy but - I don't think we'd be that good together. But I did find a great place to go for lunch now :-)

Adventures in Dating - Part 6

At this point - I pretty much decided to postpone the dating situation. I thought things were going to get started with Ryan - but alas - he got too busy - despite his several attempts to apologize and say he'd call me. I just kind of put it out to him and said - look I know you're busy - but we don't have to do anything extravagant. He's too busy. Plain and simple. Maybe it'll work out - but I'm not holding my breadth.

So I sort of wallowed for a week or two. None of these guys were working out - the one I liked was too busy. Bleh. I was like I want to give up! And I did for a bit. Then I decided to join Eharmony because what've I got to lose, plus it was a pretty cheap deal to join for three months. So whatevs. I'm signed up through the day before my birthday in July. Let's see if I can't spend this Birthday alone this year. Fast forward about a month...

Adventures in Dating - Part 6: Aaron
So as I mentioned, I joined eharmony. I was kind of striking out with guys. I didn't see any cute ones and the ones that were contacting me weren't cute. Bummer. Then Aaron sent me a message and we kind of hit it off. He's pretty cute. He's much better looking in person than in his pictures. He's older and we have a lot in common. So after a few chats on gmail and some text exchanges we agree to meet up the Sunday night after the Broad Street Run. I thought I'd be fine later that night - but I was literally wrecked. It was SO damn hot and my hips/knees were killing me...so I asked to postpone which he was totally understanding and we met up later that week on Thursday.

Date #1
He asked to meet at Couch Tomato which is like - one of my favorite places in the 'yunk to eat with my bestest Jacks. We order from there pretty often when I hang out at her house (actually I think every time haha). So we meet up around 7 and I have to be honest, I was a little nervous. It had been nearly a month since all those other guys so I was like - I hope we have a lot to talk about. But as soon as he got there - it was fine. Easy to talk to - great conversation - lots of laughs - lots in common. Food was good - weather was nice - everything going well. We talked for a few hours and just after 9 decided we should call it a night.

He walked with me toward my car and then I totally forgot where I parked - so he walked with me to my car - and since it ended up being pretty far from his car - I offered him a ride to his. He accepted - I got him to his car and he leaned in for a kiss. The kiss was....it was alright. It was in an awkward position. We were sitting in my car and it was an awkward lean. Nice enough though. I told him to give me a call. Hopefully we could hang out again soon.

Since then we've chatted a few times. We actually made plans for last night (Wednesday) but since the Flyers are deciding not to rollover and die in the hockey playoffs, he had tickets to the game and we pushed the date back to tonight. So I'm meeting him after I coach practice tonight. I think it'll be a good time. He actually asked me what I was up to this weekend already - apparently he's going downtown with a group of friends for a birthday - I didn't give him an answer yet but I'm a little hesitant. Meeting friends - to me - is a pretty big deal. And then I got to thinking....

In my past experience, have the guys I've gone out with introduced me to their friends first or have I introduced them to mine first? And I think it was the former in my case. Introducing a guy to my friends is kind of like introducing them to my family because I consider my friends to be family. Maybe that's why....hrm...interesting...

But anyway - obviously this Adventure in Dating is TBContinued....

Adventures in Dating - Part 5

Before I get to part 5 - there were a few guys I started chatting with that I never actually ended up meeting up with. As I mentioned - I went away to Florida for a long weekend with friends and relaxation. I had been talking to a few other guys:

Ed: Very nice guy. A little younger than me. Loves the Phils just like me, but he wasn't exactly the kind of person I thought I would want to go out with - and I do feel bad I kind of left him hanging. He even contacted me a few times after I got back but I never responded. Oh well. He deserves a nice girl.

Jared: Another nice guy - but totally not my type. Older than me - but seemed a little inexperienced for me. Not that there's anything wrong with that but to be honest - I don't want to be teaching guys how to act around me or what they should be doing. We had quite a bit in common but again - I kind of lost touch with him after I left for Florida.

Adventures in Dating - Part 5: Justin
So Justin was another guy I met on the free site. I know - seems like a great place...but really they were kind of all sorts of duds. Justin fit right in there.

Date #1
I met Justin on a Wednesday night after work at school. We met at the Houlihan's near my house. He was late - because he was shopping at REI. Yeah. I was the one coming from work but he was the one that was late. Obviously, based on previous posts, this is a pet peeve of mine.

So he finally arrives and we start chatting - or so I thought. I ended up doing most of the talking. Of course - while I was talking (because he looked at me with a complete blank stare most often) I caught him looking me up and down a few times - all I could think was, "is he looking at me thinking, she doesn't look anything like her pictures?" or "she's not as skinny as I thought" - but then I was like - whatever - this guy isn't even talking to me - Seriously it was like pulling teeth to get him to talk - why do I care if he doesn't approve of what I look like? I don't.

So a few hours go by. We decide to get home - or rather I told him I should go because I had an 8 am class the next morning (which I did) and said I usually go to bed early (which I do). Thank goodness for 8am classes (who ever thought I'd say that!) Haha! So he pays - we start walking out - and he doesn't walk me to my car. Doesn't give me a hug. Nothing.

What have we learned previously about the expectations for myself - if nothing else - I do expect a guy to be chivalrous which includes holding doors, walking me to my car, offering to help me up, etc.

So let's review:
1. he was late
2. he didn't walk me to my car
3. was like a mute - yeah - it was that bad.

So I leave the date thinking it was horrible and that he didn't have a good time. I don't know - maybe he liked hearing me talk. I did date one guy that actually preferred that I talk all the time (he was shy). But that's not what I want.

So I get home and I go to bed thinking - no big deal - I met him - tried it out - not going anywhere.

The After "party"
So the next morning as I'm on my way to class - I get this text message - from Justin - Saying he had a great time and was really nice to meet me - that I should have a good time in Florida. I was not only surprised but like - really? You had a good time? I later told Trish about the date and she was like, "You should've texted him back 'You're Welcome, next time you should talk'" I laughed so hard :-)

So I figured I would just wait for him to contact me. That's pretty much my feeling when I don't really feel like I'm in to a guy. Besides, it's nice for a guy to work a little. So I get back from Florida and he actually did call me. I didn't pick up my phone. He left me a message. Turns out he was driving through this area and wanted to see if I would be up for grabbing dinner. How impromptu and unassuming that I might actually have other things going on in my life. I texted him back and apologized (the next day) and told him I was working to which he responded - I never even thought you might be busy. OBVIOUSLY!

Ha - and that was the tale of the Mute...I mean Justin.

Adventures in Dating - Part 4

Where have we been so far....Jason, Ryan, Rich....ah yes, now it's time for Shane. This is a doozy of a story for y'all. In the immortal words of my friend Trish - "You can't make this shit up".

Adventures in Dating - Part 4: Shane
Shane was a nice enough guy. (I write that and you read that as in it's possible I was like, "sure, what've I got to lose" but I really mean it. It was a great person). I also found him - like Rich and Jason - on the Free dating site. We seemed to have a lot in common and once we started chatting on the phone, our conversations were great! He loved my positivity and I really liked his outlook on life. We had a lot of similar perspectives as to how we felt we wanted to live our lives. He was a very outspoken individual which was kind of refreshing. Didn't hide anything...and that comes into play later..

Date #1
Shane and I decided to meet on a Sunday afternoon at the Dave and Buster's near my house. I wasn't that gun-ho about it because I don't particularly like going on a date where there will be a million little kids running around but he wanted to do something fun and I suppose I figured if he was paying - it could be fun! Ha (again, horrible of me, I know). So we meet up and start playing games. [[Sidenote: He was shorter than I thought he'd be and he was definitely less cute than I thought he'd be but he had a great smile and obviously I'm not going to just be like - that's it! we're not hanging out. I'm not rude. And if I can hang in there with Rich, I can hang in there with Shane. Plus who knows...]] He had told me before he was a pretty competitive person which was fine with me. He won some games, I won some games. And after an hour, we were out of points to play so he asked if I wanted to grab something to eat but I really had a ton of homework to get back to, so I asked for a rain check. He walked me to my car, gave me a hug, and we were on our ways (respectively and separately).

He called me later that night and left a message with, "I know most people say you're supposed to wait two days or whatever but that's not my style. I had a great time. I'd like to see you again." And I had fully intended on calling him back the next day but I didn't get around to it until later in the week. I left him a message and then I didn't hear from him. Maybe he was upset I didn't call back sooner? Who knew....but then I found out why....

The Bombshell
So he calls me on a Saturday night - but I was actually with Ryan on Date #2 that night so I didn't answer the phone and I called him back the next day, Sunday afternoon.

I tell him I was worried he was upset I waited too long to call him back but it was just the opposite. [[Sidenote: I noticed earlier in the week he had taken his profile stuff off the dating site...wasn't sure what that meant but thought it was weird.]] So we start getting into the conversation a bit more to which he says, "I'm just gonna come right out and tell you. I haven't told anyone else this but one other person." So I'm thinking - um, oooooookay. He says, "I got someone pregnant." To which I don't know what to say but ask him if he's okay and whatnot. I then mentions how he feels it would unfair to date anyone at this juncture and whatnot. No big deal. I wasn't offended. I felt more sorry for him. But it was fine because in a way, I was off the hook. I mean don't get me wrong, Shane was a nice guy/is a nice guy but I couldn't see us making more out of our situation than just the afternoon we spent together.

No Proof
So about a week goes by and I figure things are done and done with Shane. Sure enough - he calls me and we chat - he tells me he went to this girls house and asked her to take a pregnancy test and she refused. He told me he didn't believe her that she was pregnant. Which apparently in his mind meant - "I'm still free to call Katie and hang out with her." So he asked me if I wanted to go running with him that coming weekend. I accepted but after a few days I was like - I don't think this is a good idea. The situation is kind of iffy and I didn't feel comfortable with it. So I canceled on him.

I haven't heard from him since. One more person to take out of my phone.....

Adventures in Dating - Part 3

So, if you missed my previous two adventures, you can find them here and here. Enjoy! Oh it gets better....

Addendum:
I forgot one of the names of the guys in the beginning - his name is Rich. I couldn't think of it until I was on my way to a date I had last night...but that isn't Adventure 3 - this is the Adventure about Rich.

Adventures in Dating - Part 3
So Rich was another guy I met on the free dating site. He messaged me first and at first glance I was like, no way. I mean, sure he liked soccer and despite him being a Liverpool fan, I was like..fine, who am I to say no. I'll give him a chance. I've been trying to give people the benefit of the doubt. Although I didn't think his profile was that impressive and his pictures were all taken from a high angle. That should've been my first tip that this adventure was not going to go well.

So we start emailing back and forth. Get to know each other a little bit. We set up a date to meet and I figure, ok - if nothing it's a free meal (awful but still...whatever). We decide to meet on a Wednesday after I get off from work. I told him to suggest a place to meet because afterall, he is the guy. This should've been the second hint that it wasn't going to work out - he refused to pick a place. [[sidenote: A word of the wise to guys...if a girl asks you to pick a place, do it. I realize it's a nice gesture to let the girl choose the place of meeting/dining because that way she has control over what she can get (if she's one of those girls) but honestly - personally - it tells me you are wishy washy and passive if you don't take the initiative when asking a girl out for the first time. First dates - guys should suggest a place. Second dates - it's totally okay for the girl to. Just my two cents]] He asked me to call him when I was leaving work because he worked right around where I lived and he said it'd help him time it out better. Whatever. So I called him. More wishy-washiness about where to go - so I picked The California Pizza Kitchen. (they have great salads!)

Date #1
I got there first [[sidenote: this was the second time I had this happen. Ryan was the first, Rich was the second. Listen, I realize there's traffic. I realize we can't all be on time ALL the time - but seriously - let's make a first impression people. It's kind of a pet peeve of mine - just on dates though. The guy should be trying to impress me, y?/y.]] I waited for him outside and he arrived. Three things: 1. He was shorter than he said he was. 2. He DID NOT LOOK LIKE HIS PICTURES 3. He was not in shape the way he said he was. So you can imagine my disappointment in all these things. But, I was like, "well, I'm here, I might as well give him the benefit of the doubt, yes? ok" We go in, and he starts asking me some questions...what I do, what I'm going to school for, etc....and then we sit down. I don't know if it was because he was nervous or what but for the rest of the evening - I barely spoke. He ended up talking the whole time. About: Himself, His work (a LOT), His life, His family, what he knows about sports, etc. [[sidenote: I will say this, when it got to sports talk, because I was so annoyed that he had been talking the whole time, I pretty much put him in his place. He had no idea what he was talking about. So I got him to stop talking...for two minutes.]]

Thankfully I had two beers with dinner. That made it more bearable. So after dinner, he did walk me to my car (but I think it was mainly because it was in the same direction as his). I gave him a hug and said the obligatory, "I had a good time, thanks for dinner, blah blah blah". (yes, I said the blah blah blah...no just kidding). As soon as I got in my car, I called my best friend (see: person who suggested I write these adventures) and told her how awful the date was. Ugh.

Needless to say there was no second date - but he did send me a text the next day saying he had a great time and that if I wanted to get together another time he'd like that but (passively said) it didn't seem like you (meaning me) wanted to. I did not respond to that text.

Adventures in Dating - Part 2

As I mentioned before - was tired of the lack of personal life - so joining the free dating site seemed like the best way to get what I wanted without the expense of other sites. I've tried both Eharmony and Match.com before....went on a few dates in both cases but nothing really worked out. It always ended up that I met someone outside of the site and started dating them. With Match it was Simon and with Eharmony it was Ben. Turns out when it rains it pours - so to speak. Of course, the rain isn't always good rain - sometimes it's pretty acidic.

Adventures in Dating - Part 2
The second guy I decided to go out with was actually the one I hadn't met on the site. Ryan.

I work at my grad school in the graduate office, so I come in contact with a lot of different people who visit for advising appointments. Some people I don't pay any mind too but as soon as Ryan came in - I started talking to him and well, flirting with him. He was/is SO cute - HOT to say the least. He was in to see an advisor for his M.Ed. in Elementary and Special Education. Swoon! Nothing cuter than a man that wants to be an elementary teacher (at least, I think so). So we chatted and he went in for his meeting and he left and I never thought I'd see him again. That's what it's usually like. I see these people once so I figure there's no harm in flirting and whatnot. So I found out from his advisor that he actually had Ryan in his class on Monday nights - so I said "hey put in a good word for me!" And left it at that.

Two weeks go by and I just figure that the advisor didn't say anything to Ryan. Sure enough, on a Wednesday evening, Ryan walks into the office. It's about a half hour before we close so I figure he's in for a question or to see his advisor. Of course, when he started asking me a ton of questions of school and my personal life, I started to think ....hrm...maybe he's gonna ask me for my number? So about 15 minutes go by and he leaves. Doesn't ask me for my number. Nothing. Sure enough about 5 minutes after he leaves he calls the office. He tells me he wasn't sure it was appropriate to ask me out while I was at work but wanted to know if I was interested in getting together for a drink or coffee some time. I WAS SO EXCITED! I never had a guy do that. It was a first for me where a guy asked me - flat out - to go out for drinks or coffee. So I gave him my number and we discussed the fact that we were both pretty busy so we weren't sure how it'd work out but both agreed that we'd figure it out. I was elated!

Date #1
The rest of the week goes by and I don't hear from him. That Saturday he asked me if I wanted to get together for a drink. So we met up at a place near me and talked for nearly 4 hours! It was great. To be honest, I wasn't sure if he was having a good time though. Maybe he was nervous. I don't know. At the end of the night, we walked out of the restaurant and he walked me to my car. Shortly thereafter we proceeded to make out for a good 10 minutes. Holy good kisser! Um yes please! It was perfect and sweet and he was kind and gentle. I haven't had a good kiss like that since...well...it's been awhile. I told him I had a good time - as did he - and told him to call me, that we should do it again. He agreed.

So lets see where we're at:
He asked me for my number (in such a cute way)
He agreed to come to me.
He walked me to my car.
He's a great kisser!

Ok ok...back to the rest...

So the next day - he tells me how great of a time he had and can't wait to do something with me again. We make plans for that coming Saturday night. Of course, I am leaving out a bunch of the other details like the excitement and concern as to whether or not I should call/text whathaveyou. Thanks to my friend Parker, I was guided in the right direction! Nonetheless....the weekend approached and as it was the second weekend of March Madness.....

Date #2
Ryan asked if I would like to come to his place and he'd make dinner and we could go from there. I thought it was really sweet and agreed that'd be nice. So I made my way over - he grilled and dinner was great. It was so cute watching cook. I asked several times if he wanted help but insisted that I was to watch basketball while he worked away:-) Dinner was yummy. He did a really good job. We talked for a bit and he asked me if I wanted to go out? I said I was perfectly comfortable staying in - it had been a long week for me and for him as well so I was totally cool with staying in. He was really surprised at that but I think he kind of felt relieved. So we watched some basketball and shortly thereafter we put on some music. We played cards for the rest of the night and talked. I had a really good time. I got to know him a lot better and it turned out we had a lot in common - from the way we were raised to our relationships with family to the way we approached school. It was just really nice. [[sidenote: When I started my dating adventures, I originally told myself that I wasn't going to "give it up" too soon. I had done this in the past and learned it's probably not the best way to start a relationship. That being said...sometimes a girl just can't help herself]]

It started to get late and Ryan asked if I wanted to spend the night. I can't lie. I didn't even hesitate. The moment I walked through the door that night all I could think about was wanting to kiss him - over and over again. What can I say, he was/is a GREAT kisser. Without going into too much detail, I spent the night and in the morning when we woke up - I was getting ready to go when he stopped me and said, "wait, do you want breakfast?" I was really caught off guard. He genuinely didn't want me to leave. So I stayed and we had breakfast and talked for another three hours.

I did have to leave eventually though because I had homework to do that day. As much as I didn't want to leave and I think he didn't want me to either (he asked what I was doing the rest of the day in a way that was like...maybe she can come back)....I had to go. He walked me to my car again and kissed me goodbye. I told him we should definitely do that again - he agreed - and that was that.

After that...we kept in contact but we both went away on vacation and although we contacted each other after they were over - things just kind of fell apart. There were apologies for being busy and all that jazz but eventually I kind of said to him - I know you're busy but let me know if you're still interested in hanging out - to which he replied with an apology for seeming like he was disinterested. He was definitely interested - just busy. After that series of communication - we haven't talked. I can't blame him for being too busy. I just know how much I LIKED him. I don't feel rejected in any way. I think he truly liked me too - I think the pressure of everything else just got to him. Who knows - maybe we'll reconnect sometime - but I'm not going to hold my breadth. All I can hope for is that I find someone else that made me feel the way Ryan did/does.

::sigh:: I really liked him.

And so it goes with adventure number 2....

Adventures in Dating - Part 1

Whew! It's been awhile! I feel like I say that every time I post on here - but hopefully I'll be more consistent now. That being said - as guessed by the title of this post - I've been working on my personal life. I've now been home for a year and while my adventures in dating started a few months ago, it was suggested to me by my best friend I should blog about the crazy stories I seem to have from each of my experiences.....so for the first few I'll be backtracking a bit because, like I said, this all started a few months ago. But needless to say - it's an ongoing process and I suppose when I find the person I want to be with - it'll stop:-) Without further adieu.....

I should start by saying I don't plan on changing names. It'll make things too difficult for me to remember - besides - it's not like any of these guys are gonna find my blog.

Adventure #1
February is usually a crappy month for me. Not just because Valentine's Day happens to fall then but there are a lot of bad memories that come back up during that month. So this year I decided to change that. I joined a free dating website. I know I know. Free? Must be all bozo's. Honestly - some were - like the ones that send you an Instant Message asking me what I was wearing or what I wanted to do with them right now. [[sidenote to those guys: No I will most certainly not dignify those stupid questions and inappropriate questions with a response. You're not cute. Your pictures are not flattering, which is a conversation by itself (why wouldn't you put cute pictures up?), and you think way too highly of yourself. Stop harassing cute women. The End.]] Some were pretty cute though and I did send a few messages saying hi or simple things like, "seems like we'd be a good match". That site works the same way Eharmony works. They match you up based on questions you've answered and tell you, based on percentages, how much you'd likely be a good mate, friend, or enemy. I thought it was kind of cool and different so I gave it a chance. Plus - free is always good. I don't have a jobby job right now. Free is GREAT!

So I started talking to a few guys. Some pretty cute. Others just alright. I actually got a little overwhelmed. I was talking to five guys at once: Jason. Shane. Justin. Ed. Rich. (I know - what's with the J names?) I should also mention - shortly after I signed up on the site, a guy I was interested in at school asked me out - Ryan. He was the front runner out of all of them. More on him later. For Adventure #1 we're going to talk about Jason.

Jason
Jason emailed me. Our "likeness" percentage wasn't that high on the scale but he seemed nice and he took the initiative on contacting me so I thought that was nice. Jason was/is a State Trooper. Immediately I wasn't totally comfortable with that mainly because cops don't always get a good rep as far as reliable partners and dating companions. One of my best friends from childhood is a cop and he's kind of a dog. However, I decided to give Jason the benefit of the doubt. We exchanged a few emails and started chatting on the phone. I should've known when we were having hour+ long conversations that it was not going to work out. I'm not much of a phone talker (unless you're a friend that I haven't talked to in a while or I love you). I'd rather talk to someone face to face. So we decided to meet up for lunch.

Date #1:
There were a few things that should've tipped me off from the beginning here. Aside from the phone conversations, Jason asked me to come to his place. Am I the only one that sees something wrong with this? Maybe I'm asking too much but if you take the initiative, don't you think you should maybe meet me close to my house instead of making me drive to you? (thinking back on that, I don't think it's that much of a surprise mainly because he's a cop and cop's are all about authority - it's his terf - he has control) So I agree to meet him at his place and we go to lunch. Lunch was good and we had a good conversation. Found out some things I really liked about him. I figured it was alright. But I just didn't feel a spark. I'm a big believer in that spark. If it's not there, I don't really believe it'll develop. Physical chemistry is really important to me. So after lunch we go back to his place and start watching some college basketball - in fact, it was the last part of the OSU/UofM Big Ten Tournament game when UofM won on a buzzer beater. Pretty awesome...but I digress. I left about an hour or so after because he had to go to work and as I'm standing at his door, I started to give him a hug but instead he thought I was going in for a kiss. Ugh. So I was like - ok maybe his redeeming quality is he's a good kisser. Um. Yeah - I felt like I was pecking a chicken. Not good for him.

So I go home and that was that. Or so I thought. In between this first date and the next a few things were going on. We did set up a time to have a second date but I had to cancel on him due to too much school work and I wasn't feeling it. Reluctantly I set up another date and ended up canceling that one too. I felt bad but sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

Things that happened in between our first and second dates (also our last one):
I went out on a few other dates with people.
I met someone I really liked.
I went to Florida for a vacation.
I had a lot of school work.
I was working a lot.
He and I were exchanging texts and phone conversations.

That last one is important because of the few things that happened in these conversations. One conversation entailed him telling me (this was shortly after I canceled on him the second time) that he's never been THIS patient for someone. Another conversation we had - he invited me to EASTER DINNER with his family. YES. A holiday dinner with family and we had been on ONE date. Shortly thereafter there was another instance where he made a comment to me that I was too busy. I never hid the fact that I was busy. The criticism wasn't flattering for him. Needless to say, the small window of opportunity he had to turn it around was all taken away in our second date.

Date #2
After I got back from Florida - we made plans to go see Clash of the Titans. Now a lot of my friends made the comment - it's your second date and you're going to see a movie, where you can't talk - and I said - yes, exactly. Awful I know but you know what - he kind of deserved it after some of the things he had said.

So we go to the movie...which I loved....and afterwards he asks if I want to grab something to eat. So I think about it and in my head this was my thought process: if I stay and eat with him he's going to think I like him more than I do because I'm choosing to spend more time with him but also it's a free meal. (awful I know). I decide to go to dinner with him. So we start chatting some more and I find out a few things. Ironically (which you'll find out why) I'm going to use a baseball metaphor here.

We sit down to eat and start talking more about each other. I find out he HATES baseball. STRIKE ONE.

I find out he is a Liverpool fan. STRIKE TWO.

And although we talk about other things, these are just the first two that are actually pretty important to me.

After the meal we start walking through the parking lot and we stop in the middle. Not near my car but in the dead center of the lot - where there are tons of people walking by. I go to give him a hug and he goes to kiss me. I let him. Again. Bad. And I'm like. Ok well call me. Now, normally this would be strike three and essentially it was because I'm a big proponent of a guy walking me to my car. I mean come on! Is chivalry dead?! But no, STRIKE THREE happened the next day.

So during the dinner conversation we talked about wanting pets and he had mentioned he was hoping to rescue a dog. Sure enough, the next day at work he rescued a dog he found under THE ENGLE OVERPASS. [[sidenote: While this doesn't mean a whole lot to people who don't know - one of my childhood friends was subjected to domestic abuse by her husband - their last name was ENGLE. She took her life and it has been a sad situation to deal with since. But I have a lot of disdain toward his family because of what he did to her.]] This was STRIKE THREE. He named the dog Engle. yeah.

After that, I stopped responding to his texts. He eventually got the message because I haven't heard from him since. The combination of the criticism of being too busy and being too focused on school along with not liking baseball and the fact that he didn't walk me to my car were enough to strike him out. I suppose I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.

And that was just the FIRST of many more to come.

Hopefully you look forward to reading more:-)