Unfortunately, I feel a little lost right now. This post isn't going to be a "woe is me post" but rather a clear assessment of "what's good", "what's okay" and "what needs to come around".
I've mentioned in a few prior posts that I feel kind of stagnant....kind of....misplaced in a way. I have so many options and yet none at all. So...without further adieu:
"What's Good"
-September is almost over - this is especially good because this has not been the most spectacular month for me. With the beginning of the month starting the way it did...I'm ready for October.
-Coaching - always a good thing. I still love it just as much and even though the red group doesn't listen to me, the blues wish I was there every day - "so I got that goin' for me"
-School - is remarkably easy this semester (hope I'm not jinxing myself with that)
-The Phillies are in the Playoffs AGAIN!!! YEAH BABY! Hoping to get to a few games this post season.
"What's Okay"
-I'm taking the GRE's in about two weeks - so I can apply to Graduate school at UPenn and Temple. I've studied a bit for them - still need to do more.
-Social life - or lack there of. I can't totally complain about this because I don't have a job, so not doing anything is beneficial because I'm not spending money but there are some things that I'd really like to do in order to change this.
-Dating - I haven't been on any real dates since the Spring and once Summer started I decided to just put that all on hold because I wanted to just have a good time. I think I went on a date last Tuesday...to the Phillies game. It was fun. But. I don't know if I'm that into him. He's already asked me out again....twice. I'm not sure. Jackie says, go for it.....I mean, I'll definitely go out with him again.
"What needs to come around" aka "change"
-Living at home - if this seriously doesn't change, I don't know what I'm going to do. My sanity is not thriving at all. It's negative negative negative. Nothing but complaints. Which begs me to ask.....can't you find ANYTHING good to say? I'm not against venting but when you're in a situation that you KNOW you can change....DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! I'm so tired of people saying they're stuck. WE ALL HAVE CHOICES. You might not like the choices you have, but you have them.
-My financial/job situation - I've got the word out to MANY people about this. They all know I'm looking and need money. Right now.....I am spending money I don't really have. I hateses money. And I despise the fact that it runs the way I have to do things. I'm working to change this but I know it's tough out there for everyone - so I'm definitely realistic.
-Dealing with my anxiety/anger - lately I've had a lot of this. Working out seems like the logical release but since I do this every day - it doesn't really have the same effect on me as it would someone else. Suggestions?
I'd like to put this one in with the "change" category - but it doesn't involve everyone. I don't know WHAT is up with some of my guy friends lately but WTF. And I truly mean...WTF. I understand being busy. I even understand plans changing. But seriously - just be honest with me. I'm so tired of people thinking "oh katie will be ok with it...she'll forgive me." I'm just so tired of it. I'm pretty tired with, what seems like, always being the last to know. I'm so over with making the attempts to be the one that bridges the distance. OVER IT.
How do you stop caring? Because inevitably, I just do. I feel lost. I wish I knew which direction to go. I wish I knew the right course of action (which I suppose is the beauty and curse of life with choices).
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