Sometimes:
I just want to give up.
I really hate being the responsible one.
I get so anxious knowing that I'm the person people can always rely on.
I really hate living at home.
it's not so bad.
I can't believe the life I'm living.
I wish my life had turned out differently.
I realize how lucky I am that it didn't.
I get panic attacks that cause me to re-evaluate my life.
I wonder if I should've gone to a bigger college.
I think about how I never thought I'd have a real boyfriend.
I wonder if he thinks about me as much as I think about him.
I wonder if the friends I've lost over the years, think about me too....
I smell books.
I listen to explicit rap music and blast it in my car while I'm on the main line.
I eat dessert for dinner (mmm, chocolate cake!)
A philly soft pretzel solves all my problems.
Life has a funny way of making you work for "it".
I will white-out things my calendar in my organizer - just so I can re-write them.
I make lists just so I have something to cross out.
I sit at work and don't actually do work (like right now).
I really miss college.
I really don't miss college.
I wonder if I could've been an Olympian.
I wish I had played soccer when I was little.
I wish I had met a man from the UK who fell in love with me and I had moved over there to lead a different life.
I am SO glad that didn't happen.
ALWAYS:
I always wish I had the life I have.
I am always grateful for my friends and family.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Saturday, April 16, 2011
As for accomplishments, I just did what I had to do as things came along. ~Eleanor Roosevelt
It just figures that a quote like that would come from an awesome person like Eleanor Roosevelt. Same chick that said, "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Brilliant.
As for the actual quote - I really feel like that's the approach I take in life. I thought I'd take this opportunity to write about good stuff since usually I feel like I'm complaining......
As I sit here writing my 200th post (woo!), I'm watching Tuesday's episode of The Biggest Loser. These people are amazing - accomplishing things that everyone is capable of and yet sometimes you need that extra push....and I'm thinking to myself - why do I feel guilty for taking one day off? I shouldn't - and I won't. Now granted - I might still head to the gym in a few hours - why not? But then I was like - what have I accomplished in the last few weeks, months, years even....a lot.
This week I ran 20 miles. Last week I ran 32. So far this year I have run more than 360 miles. My goal is to run 1200. Last year I ran just over 1000. Why do I have these goals? I just do - gives me a purpose - makes me feel like I'm not just running to train for races but to keep going. I've run two races so far this year - a 5 miler and a 5K. Both were PR's. I ran the 5 miler in just under 41 minutes and the 5K in 23:37. Definitely fast for me. Why did I run that fast? Possibly my training (most likely) but also because I just did. I just did the things I had to do.
I am currently holding down four jobs. I work as a Graduate Assistant for Cabrini (about 10 hours a week). I teach spinning three times a week with other classes to sub whenever I want (approx 3-5 hours a week). I coach Lacrosse every day (10-15 hours a week). I coach swimming (although that is seemingly less now because of lacrosse but I was there on Wednesday and will be back soon. I'm also a student. I suppose that'd be a fifth job. The thing is - I love ALL OF THESE. I'd almost much rather have these five things than be in a job that was making me enough money to move out. Do I want to move out? Of course. Will it happen? Definitely. When? I'm not sure. Am I worried about that? Not any more. The thing is - all these things are helping me on my journey to where I need to be.
Speaking of my journey - I've had so many amazing opportunities in my path. I'm still searching for the right person and in the mean time I'm enjoying myself. I'm finally OK with the fact that I'm still single and almost 30. Do I want to find someone? YES - very much so. Am I giving up? NO - never. Do I still believe the right guy is out there for me? YES - I've possibly met him already and not known it. My journey toward finding the right person is still in progress but as I'm reminded every time I watch the movie 'Under the Tuscan Sun' "Unthinkably good things can happen, even late in the game. It's so surprising." I'm open to it. I just hope the person I find is open too.
Beyond the personal - I've got a lot of good things on the horizon. Although lacrosse has just about a month left, I'll still have Baldwin (swimming) and I have Mermaid Lake Coaching to look forward to! I also got a call/email from a doctor's office that wants to hire me. Cabrini is currently restructuring their departments so I'm growing slightly concerned that I won't have the grad assistantship to rely on - but this opportunity might be the way for me to pay for it AND to move out. Depends on how much they want to pay me and how often I can work for them. I might take away the chance to have a chill summer but to be honest - money is a key factor for me right now. I have bills, tuition, loans, payments that all need to be taken care of. Money trumps relaxation. I'll have time to relax when I'm dead haha. I'm currently getting A's in both my classes I'm taking right now. I have one more major paper and a final exam to take. Just a few short weeks left of the spring semester - summer semester starts shortly thereafter with one class for six weeks and then one more in the fall. I have to get on the ball with student teaching to make sure I have a lock on that in the spring of next year.
One thing I will say is that with all of these things going on - I am stretching myself thin - I am aware of it. I feel badly because I don't get to see as many people as often. I haven't seen my dad that much and I know he misses me. I miss him too. It's not personal - it's just what's going on. I've GOT to do these things. I need the money. But I should be better at balancing everything. To be honest I think I'm doing a pretty good job - it's just difficult. I suppose - in keeping with the theme of my quote - I just have to do it.
:::sigh::: I'm going to get changed and work out. haha :-)
As for the actual quote - I really feel like that's the approach I take in life. I thought I'd take this opportunity to write about good stuff since usually I feel like I'm complaining......
As I sit here writing my 200th post (woo!), I'm watching Tuesday's episode of The Biggest Loser. These people are amazing - accomplishing things that everyone is capable of and yet sometimes you need that extra push....and I'm thinking to myself - why do I feel guilty for taking one day off? I shouldn't - and I won't. Now granted - I might still head to the gym in a few hours - why not? But then I was like - what have I accomplished in the last few weeks, months, years even....a lot.
This week I ran 20 miles. Last week I ran 32. So far this year I have run more than 360 miles. My goal is to run 1200. Last year I ran just over 1000. Why do I have these goals? I just do - gives me a purpose - makes me feel like I'm not just running to train for races but to keep going. I've run two races so far this year - a 5 miler and a 5K. Both were PR's. I ran the 5 miler in just under 41 minutes and the 5K in 23:37. Definitely fast for me. Why did I run that fast? Possibly my training (most likely) but also because I just did. I just did the things I had to do.
I am currently holding down four jobs. I work as a Graduate Assistant for Cabrini (about 10 hours a week). I teach spinning three times a week with other classes to sub whenever I want (approx 3-5 hours a week). I coach Lacrosse every day (10-15 hours a week). I coach swimming (although that is seemingly less now because of lacrosse but I was there on Wednesday and will be back soon. I'm also a student. I suppose that'd be a fifth job. The thing is - I love ALL OF THESE. I'd almost much rather have these five things than be in a job that was making me enough money to move out. Do I want to move out? Of course. Will it happen? Definitely. When? I'm not sure. Am I worried about that? Not any more. The thing is - all these things are helping me on my journey to where I need to be.
Speaking of my journey - I've had so many amazing opportunities in my path. I'm still searching for the right person and in the mean time I'm enjoying myself. I'm finally OK with the fact that I'm still single and almost 30. Do I want to find someone? YES - very much so. Am I giving up? NO - never. Do I still believe the right guy is out there for me? YES - I've possibly met him already and not known it. My journey toward finding the right person is still in progress but as I'm reminded every time I watch the movie 'Under the Tuscan Sun' "Unthinkably good things can happen, even late in the game. It's so surprising." I'm open to it. I just hope the person I find is open too.
Beyond the personal - I've got a lot of good things on the horizon. Although lacrosse has just about a month left, I'll still have Baldwin (swimming) and I have Mermaid Lake Coaching to look forward to! I also got a call/email from a doctor's office that wants to hire me. Cabrini is currently restructuring their departments so I'm growing slightly concerned that I won't have the grad assistantship to rely on - but this opportunity might be the way for me to pay for it AND to move out. Depends on how much they want to pay me and how often I can work for them. I might take away the chance to have a chill summer but to be honest - money is a key factor for me right now. I have bills, tuition, loans, payments that all need to be taken care of. Money trumps relaxation. I'll have time to relax when I'm dead haha. I'm currently getting A's in both my classes I'm taking right now. I have one more major paper and a final exam to take. Just a few short weeks left of the spring semester - summer semester starts shortly thereafter with one class for six weeks and then one more in the fall. I have to get on the ball with student teaching to make sure I have a lock on that in the spring of next year.
One thing I will say is that with all of these things going on - I am stretching myself thin - I am aware of it. I feel badly because I don't get to see as many people as often. I haven't seen my dad that much and I know he misses me. I miss him too. It's not personal - it's just what's going on. I've GOT to do these things. I need the money. But I should be better at balancing everything. To be honest I think I'm doing a pretty good job - it's just difficult. I suppose - in keeping with the theme of my quote - I just have to do it.
:::sigh::: I'm going to get changed and work out. haha :-)
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.” ~ Oscar Wilde
Seeing as how I've been MIA for a week or so - I figured a nice refresher course in "Katie" would be helpful....so here are some of the ABC's of me :-)
A. Age: 29 years - 3 months left in my 20s!
B. Bed size: Queen. Of course.
C. Chore you dislike: cleaning the bathroom
D. Dogs: None currently - but had part ownership of: Jessie (miss you pup!) - and lived with: Sydney, Deuce, Maya, and briefly Tebow.
E. Essential to start your day: Coffee and Computer time.
F. Favorite Color: Pink
G. Gold or silver: When I was younger it was gold, now it's silver - or platinum :-)
H. Height: 5 feet, almost 7 inches
I. Instruments you play: I know how to play the piano, clarinet, flute, saxophone, and trumpet.
J. Job Title: Student, Coach, Graduate Assistant, Spin Instructor
K. Kids: No kids.....yet. One day, hopefully though. There is a process to all of it - although my grandmother tells me otherwise!
L. Live: Burb's of Philly. Represent!
M. Mom’s Name: Patricia - but we call her weirdo - haha - no just kidding. She's mom.
N. Nicknames: Fitz, KatieFitz, Coach, Coach Katie, Katydid, Fitzy, Spitz(old one!)
O. Overnight Hospital Stays: Freshman year of college - after the sledding accident. Thanks to Netty and Brooke for keeping me entertained and helping me out!
P. Pet Peeves: Sloth. Gluttony (haha, although I definitely partake in this from time to time). Meanness. Rudeness. Intentional stupidity. (ETA: RUNNING LATE....oh and Traffic for no reason)
Q. Quote from a movie: “Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around.”
R. Righty or Lefty: Righty
S. Siblings: Older Sis Kelly
T. Time you wake up: 6:30ish
U. Underwear: Varies - but always wearing them.
V. Vegetables you don’t like: Pretty sure I haven't found one yet.
W. What makes you run late: Very rarely it's my own doing. It's usually because someone else is running late. I HATESES being late.....hrm, guess I should add that to pet peeves!
X. X-Rays You’ve had: For my back (twice) and my teeth (obvi)
Y. Yummy food you make: I haven't made much food lately - no one to cook for - but I make lots of good stuff. I think I'm a pretty good cook.
Z. Zoo-animal favorite: PENGUINS!!!!! WADDLE :-D
A. Age: 29 years - 3 months left in my 20s!
B. Bed size: Queen. Of course.
C. Chore you dislike: cleaning the bathroom
D. Dogs: None currently - but had part ownership of: Jessie (miss you pup!) - and lived with: Sydney, Deuce, Maya, and briefly Tebow.
E. Essential to start your day: Coffee and Computer time.
F. Favorite Color: Pink
G. Gold or silver: When I was younger it was gold, now it's silver - or platinum :-)
H. Height: 5 feet, almost 7 inches
I. Instruments you play: I know how to play the piano, clarinet, flute, saxophone, and trumpet.
J. Job Title: Student, Coach, Graduate Assistant, Spin Instructor
K. Kids: No kids.....yet. One day, hopefully though. There is a process to all of it - although my grandmother tells me otherwise!
L. Live: Burb's of Philly. Represent!
M. Mom’s Name: Patricia - but we call her weirdo - haha - no just kidding. She's mom.
N. Nicknames: Fitz, KatieFitz, Coach, Coach Katie, Katydid, Fitzy, Spitz(old one!)
O. Overnight Hospital Stays: Freshman year of college - after the sledding accident. Thanks to Netty and Brooke for keeping me entertained and helping me out!
P. Pet Peeves: Sloth. Gluttony (haha, although I definitely partake in this from time to time). Meanness. Rudeness. Intentional stupidity. (ETA: RUNNING LATE....oh and Traffic for no reason)
Q. Quote from a movie: “Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around.”
R. Righty or Lefty: Righty
S. Siblings: Older Sis Kelly
T. Time you wake up: 6:30ish
U. Underwear: Varies - but always wearing them.
V. Vegetables you don’t like: Pretty sure I haven't found one yet.
W. What makes you run late: Very rarely it's my own doing. It's usually because someone else is running late. I HATESES being late.....hrm, guess I should add that to pet peeves!
X. X-Rays You’ve had: For my back (twice) and my teeth (obvi)
Y. Yummy food you make: I haven't made much food lately - no one to cook for - but I make lots of good stuff. I think I'm a pretty good cook.
Z. Zoo-animal favorite: PENGUINS!!!!! WADDLE :-D
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)