Here it is - one week left in my 20's. Yay!
One of my friends seems to think that I've been complaining about turning 30 (cough:paul:cough).....understand, I'm not. I actually just can't believe I'm turning 30.....I don't know why it makes me feel weird. I have plenty of friends who are already 30 or about to turn 30. Some handled it better than others. One of my friends had this idea that he wanted to be in Australia when he turned 30 - which did not come to fruition but he still had a great birthday celebration regardless.
So here I am - on the morning of July 4th, thinking about all the amazing and stupid and fun and silly things I did in my 20's. "they" (whoever they are) say that your 20's are the time to figure things out and your 30's is where it's at. Well I say, BRING IT ON :-) I'm determined to have my 30's 'rock me Amadeus'!
So what kinds of things am I talking about? Well today is your lucky day because you're about to get a glimpse of SOME of them - let's be serious, I can't give away all my secrets ;-)
I've made PLENTY of mistakes with guys. Some of the most memorable include the way I hurt the guys who truly cared about me (i.e. TJ and Pat) or the ones I fell for after hanging out for ONE evening (i.e. Dave). Silly Katie. Taking the wrong side of situations (i.e. Allan) and standing up for the wrong people. Staying together with someone for too long (i.e. Derek) or for the wrong reasons (i.e. Ben). Forgetting that the main source of my happiness has to come from me and not from the validation of a guy. It's only taken me 10 years to figure that out! Hah! I've also had PLENTY of fun with guys. A lot of these memories also include the guys mentioned already. Regardless of the ups and downs, I wouldn't trade any of the moments - well okay maybe one or two.....but I've learned SO much about who I am and what I want. My friend Lacey tells me I'm picky - I think I just know myself really well. So...thanks guys!
Life lessons:
In grad school at CMU I was living with three other people in a townhouse and for some reason thought that I'd get a bill each month for rent. So after about four months of nothing I realized I should probably go down to the rental office and talk to them. Turned out I owed for four months of rent (of course I did! I didn't pay it!) and panicked because I didn't have that money to pay for it all at once. What I later learned was to never let your bills pile up. It was the ONLY time I ever let something like that happen and hated the way it felt. It'll never happen again. Now, if I have bills, they get paid off right away....and I avoid using credit cards if possible.
My first real job out of grad school taught me SO much about myself and about what I'm willing to put up with. If it's a job you truly like, the bad days aren't typically that bad (i.e. my job with TGC). If it becomes a job you know you hate going to every day - GET OUT AS SOON AS YOU CAN! My job at 9and10 was my first foray into the television industry and while I don't believe it's a completely accurate representation of what it's like to work in TV, it certainly prepared me in so MANY ways for what I was about to get myself into in Florida. The first two months at 9and10 were tough but I kept telling myself that it would pass - that Kevin didn't really hate me and that I would eventually get the swing of things as a news producer. A few months after that, not so much. A lot of bad things happened in the world that first summer I worked there. In news you MUST grow a thick skin in order to survive. I just couldn't get the hang of it....maybe that's why I was so inclined to work in sports. With each day that passed and each mistake I made and each call into Kevins office I realize that that job wasn't for me. I realized I was not cut out to be a News Producer. Who knew I'd have to go to a more laid back job to grow thick skin whereas in an intense job like the one at 9and10 I was SO sensitive that I found myself crying every night and every morning after and before work (respectively). It was THAT bad for me. I stayed in that job for 7 months....probably 3 months too long but I promised Kevin that I'd stay until he found a replacement for me. So as he dragged his feet on finding someone, I got anxious as to what I was going to do afterwards...but after my last day of work there the rest was history. I ended up working in television (even though I thought I didn't want to do that) but in a MUCH different environment. I originally thought I was going to go back to school to get a teaching certification - and, well, it just took me 3 years before I actually did it :-) So now you know that the teaching certification was ALWAYS the plan, I just had a little detour :-)
My travels/life to Orlando was probably one of the SMARTEST things I could've ever done for myself. I was essentially starting over and had to figure out my life away from my family and friends. It took me about a year to break out of my little shell (of course I was traveling a TON so I didn't have a lot of opportunity to meet new people) but eventually I made some amazing friends whom I love and miss dearly with each moment that passes. They STILL beg me to move back down there....I won't dismiss the option but it won't be happening any time soon (if it does happen). In Orlando I realized how resilient I could be and how things would just come to me if I opened myself up to possibilities. Trish was and still is a HUGE factor as to the reason why all of that happened. I can honestly sit here and tell you that my life is different because I met her. It's hard to explain unless you know her but she just - she's awesome. (I'm so pumped she's coming up for my birthday!) Thanks to her unique perspective on life I was able to learn that sometimes life is shitty and sometimes life is amazing. When life is shitty - sometimes watching a movie where things blow up cures what ails you. When life is fabulous - celebrating with friends and enjoying each others' company is the accompaniment. She helped me move beyond the former self that I was and actually made me realize that who I was in the past (i.e. college) does not have to determine the outcome to my life or the present either. I only wish that everyone had a Trish in their life.
The latter part of my 20's - moving home - was and is a test of patience and resiliency(again). Living at home is a BIG test - especially if you've lived on your own for a long time. I have friends that definitely know the experience and can relate. Every situation is different. The only real complaint (despite evidence to the contrary on this blog) is that I don't have my own real space and the only way for me to get it is to make myself SO busy that I am out of the house ALL the time. Don't get me wrong, busy is good - and when I first moved home, I wasn't busy so I was going nuts. Now - I'm SO busy that I rarely have a break. Did I mention that I haven't learned to balance yet? haha. No, I truly AM working on it. But I digress.....living at home has proved beneficial in several ways - financially it's paramount. Had I decided to live on my own I wouldn't have the ability to do pretty much anything because all of my money would go to rent/groceries/etc. I am grateful that my mom would be okay with me living at home forever (even though she knows that that would never happen) but the fact that the option to go back home is always there - is - well - nice. I am hoping to move out at some point soon. We'll see how plausible that is.
I'm sure as the week goes on I'll have more tidbits - but these are major ones.
7 days. :-)
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