My So Called Life

"There’s so many different ways to be connected to people. There are the people you feel this unspoken connection to, even though there’s not even a word for it. There’s the people who you’ve known forever, who know you in this way that other people can’t, because they’ve seen you change…they’ve let you change."~My So Called Life


Anyone remember that show???  IT was on MTV back in the day - "which was a Wednesday, I don't know if you know that...".....any catch that reference too?  Probably not.....I'm feeling pretty random today.

I meant to write this post yesterday because I got back from a quick jaunt to visit my friend(s) Nick, Joey, and Sam in AC.  They're friends of mine from Orlando but were in AC for a work trip.  Went to AC for the night and ended up having an evening of random fun with Nick.  Joey and Sam were so tired they just passed out early - so - it was just me and Nick :-) 

I've known Nick for about 6 years now....and it's funny how it feels like he and I have known each other for SO much longer.  The purpose of the quote is simply that - he and I know each other in this way that just kind of clicks. 

We caught up on each others' lives and what's going on and what's been going on.  I haven't seen him in about 2 years so it was great to have some time to chat.  We both help put things into perspective for each other and the one thing I really think I took away from the evening/visit is that sometimes you need to see an old friend in order to realize exactly what your priorities and what your standards are.....

What I mean by this is...we both discussed relationships we're either in (him) or recently got out of (me)....and he had mentioned seeing an old mutual friend who showed him what he used to really want in a relationship/woman.  To which I quickly replied that it's okay if your priorities or standards change over time because people change...we evolve.  It's only natural.  When I was telling him how my most current ex is unlike any other guy I've ever dated, he said, "See, now what made you choose him if he's so different?  Does that mean your standards have changed?  What made you pick him?" 

So I thought about that for a few seconds and replied...."Despite the fact that he was unlike any guy I've ever dated...the biggest difference between him and the others is the feeling I got/get when I'm with him.  There is only one person in my life who listens so intently or actually genuinely gives me advice that may or may not help me...and that person is my father.  Although I've found friends to be comforting and supportive - and yes, some of my guy friends....his particular guy always listened, calmed me down, let me freak out, didn't/doesn't judge me, and supports me.  He champions me and motivates me when I am down on myself.  The only other person who's ever done that was my dad because he's the only person I've ever let see me be so vulnerable...."

Nick thought about that for a second and basically said...."it's really interesting that you said it was more about emotion and comfort than appearances...."  I said...well...looks fade over time...it's what's behind them that truly matter. 

I'm getting off on a tangent that needs to be reeled in.....

Basically the point of the post is to say, it's important to have those conversations with people who know you in a way that's different than everyone else.  Nick and I have a special bond and I'm so lucky to have him as a friend.  Just like so many of my friends that I don't see often, when I am with them, it's as if no time has passed at all and we're completely comfortable with each other.  I wonder if that's just me? Or if it's because I've had a ton of luck with finding the right friends.....

Either way....I hope everyone has friends like this...that have seen you change...and let you change...and are still there for you at all times....