A New Approach

so So SO SO over it. So over guys. So over thinking I'm doing something wrong. Am I perfect? No. But neither is anyone else. I definitely make mistakes with guys. My best friend Jackie knows this - and she's awesomesauce times a bazillion for putting up with me :-) LOVE YOU! I am not always terrible with them but I tend to not see the signs early enough when it comes to guys. So here it is....a different approach.

I've started reading, A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. It's about finding your purpose in life and opening yourself up to the possibilities you might blocking yourself from by keeping a closed mind. He's actually a Christian writer and so it's not typically appealing for me to be reading something like that but I've read it before so it's technically a refresher for me. So why am I reading it? I feel like maybe I'm not open enough to the possibility of someone or something....and maybe if I just 'let go' the way I mentioned in my last post....things might change without me even knowing it.

So here's the new approach. I realized I wrote this whole 30 in 30 list of things that I want to accomplish this year and I haven't taken an active approach toward it yet. So here's the deal...I'm focusing on me. I'm going to accomplish these goals. Some of the things I really need to hunker down on are getting the certs for training/spinning and going skydiving!!!!!! aw yeah.

Oh, you want to know about the OTHER approach....with guys. Well. I originally thought - ok, no more. Just none. But, let's be honest - I LOVE guys - it's just not going to happen :-) But for now - nothing serious. I'm so over this Veterinarian. He's into me - he's not into me - I just don't care anymore. Yesterday was kind of the last straw. I won't get into the details. And no, I'm not heartbroken - just annoyed. So it's...whatever.

I'm watching 'He's Just Not That In To You'....ha - yes, based off the book. I know there are some ridiculous things in it and they're not entirely true....but I just LOVE this part of the movie where Alex and Gigi are sitting in the bar and he's telling her about this girl and guy they're watching at the bar:

Alex: Guys invented the spark... ...so they could not call and treat you kind of badly and keep you guessing... ...then convince you that that anxiety and fear that just develops naturally... ...was actually just a spark. And you guys all buy it. You eat it up and you love it. You love it because you feed off that drama. You all love that drama.
Gigi: I don't.
Alex: So you never wait until the last minute on a deadline or a phone bill... ...because secretly you love the drama... ...of not knowing whether or not you're gonna make it?
Gigi: Maybe.
Alex: And let me guess: When you were stalking Conor the other night... ...were you obsessing about him calling... ...constantly pacing back and forth, staring at your phone for days... ...even though the date was just kind of mediocre?
Gigi: Okay. Yeah.
Alex: Because you all thrive on the drama. Thank you. Look, you gotta be more like me. If a girl likes me, great. But if not, there are plenty more out there like her, you know?

And although I am most certainly not of those people who thrives on the drama - sincerely I hate it - my friends know I hate it. In fact I'm one of those people that pays my bills on time, gets things done right away....I don't like waiting. I don't like not knowing. I don't like the anxiety. I have enough of it from my own doing - I don't need more. But I do like what Alex says at the end....but reversing it with guys...."if a guy likes me, great. But if not, there are plenty more out there like him, you know?" So. That's the new approach.