I'm a day late. I know. YESTERDAY was Thanksgiving. I'm aware. But who says Thanksgiving is the ONLY day you can count or recall your blessings? Not me, that's for darn sure:-)
So in no particular order, here is what I am thankful for this year:
-My friends (that includes my bestest's - Jacks, Netty, and Paul)
-My family - so much of this year has been with re-learning how to handle them. It's given me a new found appreciation for them and for myself....even if they drive me nuts.
-My health - *knocks wood* I haven't had any major illnesses this year. Of course, there is still one more month in the year but you know....
-My running - honestly, as much as I can complain about it, running has kept me SANE this year. Regardless of whether or not I feel as though I can't run, I always feel better after one. Hopefully I'll get to do that today.
-Music - music is a HUGE part of my life and I am SO thankful for having grown up with such a huge appreciation for it. As you know, most of my blog titles/subjects are either titles of a song or lyrics to a song....cause I'm cool like that
-Forgiveness and Forgetfulness - haha - seems odd but in a way, I'm so glad to have both of these qualities....maybe not when remembering is SUPER important but with respect to people and the past. Moving forward is the only way we can go - so why not just forgive and forget?
-Plymouth Swim Club: This past summer was....well it was a nice breath of fresh air. Something entirely different for me, making entirely new friends...having a blast with my lifeguards...ultimate frisbee....manhunt...the guard party. Just an all around good time. Guess that's the last time it'll happen since they've eliminated my position at PSC - time to start looking for a new job!
-Lower Merion High School - for giving me the head coaching job! Its definitely a dream come true and it's something I'm looking to continue for years to come. I heart swimming so much :-)
-The Baldwin Swim Club and Dave Hart - for whom without I wouldn't be where I am today. Truly.
-GPS at Cabrini for whom without I wouldn't able to make all of these things possible. They're simply the best:-)
and last but not least....Starbucks....because I'm about to go get my first holiday latte of the season:-) Woot!
What're y'all thankful for this year?
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Friday, November 26, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
The Constant Change Equation....
As many of you may have noticed....I changed the title of my blog. Although the web address is still the same (because I couldn't find one that worked) - the title and the perspectives have.
I think what I'm going to start doing is writing more about the constant change occurring in my life - rather than the sadness or depressing stuff. No one wants to read that anyway, right? I can't guarantee that I won't ever write about it again - especially if I need to vent about my Mother - but for the most part - it'll be about the changes that are occurring on a daily basis.
All that being said - I've been thinking about this idea for awhile. Changes in relationships. Relationships with friends, with boyfriends/exboyfriends, family, etc. These changes are definitely things have have affected me in several ways. I'd like to start with the changes in my family. I'll start with immediate family first (lucky you guys, I only have five of those)....then possibly move on to other family.
My Mother
Y'all have heard me vent/rant about my Mother on here. You have seen what I've written about how I feel about her. The thing is, my mother has definitely changed since I remember her as a child. I think part of that change came from the divorce and she never recovered from it. My mom holds in a lot of anger and resentment. She definitely doesn't know what to do with her displaced emotions. She habors them and then when the time is right, she'll unleash all that she has (which if we're talkin' Biblical...it's a Wrath and a Half...yeah...it's pretty bad).
You've all heard me say numerous times that I love my mom. I do. I love her. She's the only one I have. She'll always be my mom. But G.D....can't she just mind her own freakin' business every-once-in-a-while? The changes I've seen in my mother since I've moved back home are insurmountable. She went from being all super happy to having both her daughters home....to......"OHMYGOD I HAVE TO GET MY KNEES REPLACED...MY LIFE IS OVER." Drama Queen. Now mind you, she's ALWAYS been a drama queen...and a martyr...and a saint....(according to her). It's just - in this last month, the constant change of her emotional spectrum is exhausting. I think I might have to agree with my dad. She's most likely Bi-Polar. I wish she would get someone to talk to....then maybe she wouldn't be the way she is.
The changes that have occurred with my mother follow a pattern that follow two paths, 1. When I'm living at home and 2. When I'm not living at home. When I am living at home, my life is - in general - not my own. When I am living on my own - my life is mine again. That being said - look for more posts about all of this in the future.
Who am I kidding.....ha
My Father
The changes in the relationship(s) with my dad isn't really anything too drastic. If anything, I think it's gotten better with age. The fact that he and I are so similar in the way we approach things (even if I am being irrational some times and he tells me that I am being like my mother) helps a lot. Before I lived back at home, he and I talked probably three or four times a week. That still remains the same...even though I'm pretty busy. The changes in my life haven't allowed me to visit him that often...but I know he just feels better knowing I'm in the area.
My dad (at times) does still see me as his little girl. Which is endearing and some times bothersome...but more endearing than anything. I could never live at his house. He has a problem with me having guys over. (yes, I'm 29...he doesn't care...which is his prerogative. It would be his house - if I lived with him - anyway). But he also sees me as an adult. A responsible adult. One that he turns to when he needs to vent. That....makes me feel so good. :-) It's nice to know someone can rely on you and genuinely wants your input/feedback. I think the reason my dad and I have such a great relationship that sustains the constant change is because we both understand that things evolve...and as time moves on...we all move forward.
I didn't really start opening up to my dad until I was in college. I was so busy in high school that I didn't really think about too many things. When I started to get sick in college, I started telling my dad more and more things. I can only imagine how it must've felt on his end hearing me say such horrible things about myself. Probably the same way Derek felt when I'd say them to him. Helpless. But the difference between boyfriends and Dad's is that Dad's are forever...and I'm so glad mine didn't give up on me :-)
My Sister
Ah my sister. My sister and I are definitely NOT two peas in a pod. We are pretty opposite. I wouldn't say as far opposite as you can get...but definitely different from each other. More and more I hear myself saying, "I wonder where the old Kelly went?" and as more and more time goes by, I've been thinking...was I making this old Kelly up?
Of all the people in my family, I'd say my sister is the one that has changed the most. She's had a lot of things come her way in the last 10+ years...which would undoubtedly change anyone. Unfortunately, these things have seemed to not change her for the better. Am I glad she's home again, definitely. Do I wish she had a different perspective on life, without a doubt.
I'm not gonna go on a whole diatribe about my sister...because, well, I don't need to. Basically what y'all need to know is that in a world of constant change...she isn't. And she's scared. Fear is the quickest way to not change. She's allowing it to control her life right now. I can only hope she finds her way out. I'm willing to help her if she wants it...but honestly....most of the "heavy lifting" has to be done on her own.
My Stepdad
Bruce is pretty much awesome. Seriously. If any of you know him...he's just the nicest man ever. I don't know how my mom lucked out. She doesn't treat him the way he should be treated..but he is totally ok with that. He loves the neighborhood. He loves the neighbors. He loves me and kelly. He's content. He just goes with the flow. Sometimes I'd give anything to have his attitude on life. Of course, he's seen some bad stuff (Vietnam Vet) so I can imagine that will put everything into perspective for a person.
The only change with Bruce is that he's pretty consistently awesome. :-)
My Stepmom
Jo is just as awesome herself. I definitely lucked out in these Step Parents categories. I could've ended up with the "evil" stepparents. Not so. Thankfully I have Jo to talk to when I need someone to listen. The changes between her and I since I came home have all been positive too. The fact that I know I'll always have an open and non-judgemental ear to listen to me is so amazing.
The relationship I've had with Joanne has evolved over the years. When I first met Jo I was pretty young and some of my first memories with her aren't until 12 or 13. I remember having a difficult time accepting her at first. She was nice. Always nice. But I wasn't sure how I was going to allow her in my life or if I was going to open up to her. As I got older, I realized I really liked spending time with her. I got to talk to her more and get to know her a little better. One HUGE factor was that I grew up. Emotionally....Physically....Literally. And that helped the relationship. It's safe to say Jo is one of my go-to people when I need to vent. I'm grateful for that.
okay okay - enough of the ramblings....next post will be better!
I think what I'm going to start doing is writing more about the constant change occurring in my life - rather than the sadness or depressing stuff. No one wants to read that anyway, right? I can't guarantee that I won't ever write about it again - especially if I need to vent about my Mother - but for the most part - it'll be about the changes that are occurring on a daily basis.
All that being said - I've been thinking about this idea for awhile. Changes in relationships. Relationships with friends, with boyfriends/exboyfriends, family, etc. These changes are definitely things have have affected me in several ways. I'd like to start with the changes in my family. I'll start with immediate family first (lucky you guys, I only have five of those)....then possibly move on to other family.
My Mother
Y'all have heard me vent/rant about my Mother on here. You have seen what I've written about how I feel about her. The thing is, my mother has definitely changed since I remember her as a child. I think part of that change came from the divorce and she never recovered from it. My mom holds in a lot of anger and resentment. She definitely doesn't know what to do with her displaced emotions. She habors them and then when the time is right, she'll unleash all that she has (which if we're talkin' Biblical...it's a Wrath and a Half...yeah...it's pretty bad).
You've all heard me say numerous times that I love my mom. I do. I love her. She's the only one I have. She'll always be my mom. But G.D....can't she just mind her own freakin' business every-once-in-a-while? The changes I've seen in my mother since I've moved back home are insurmountable. She went from being all super happy to having both her daughters home....to......"OHMYGOD I HAVE TO GET MY KNEES REPLACED...MY LIFE IS OVER." Drama Queen. Now mind you, she's ALWAYS been a drama queen...and a martyr...and a saint....(according to her). It's just - in this last month, the constant change of her emotional spectrum is exhausting. I think I might have to agree with my dad. She's most likely Bi-Polar. I wish she would get someone to talk to....then maybe she wouldn't be the way she is.
The changes that have occurred with my mother follow a pattern that follow two paths, 1. When I'm living at home and 2. When I'm not living at home. When I am living at home, my life is - in general - not my own. When I am living on my own - my life is mine again. That being said - look for more posts about all of this in the future.
Who am I kidding.....ha
My Father
The changes in the relationship(s) with my dad isn't really anything too drastic. If anything, I think it's gotten better with age. The fact that he and I are so similar in the way we approach things (even if I am being irrational some times and he tells me that I am being like my mother) helps a lot. Before I lived back at home, he and I talked probably three or four times a week. That still remains the same...even though I'm pretty busy. The changes in my life haven't allowed me to visit him that often...but I know he just feels better knowing I'm in the area.
My dad (at times) does still see me as his little girl. Which is endearing and some times bothersome...but more endearing than anything. I could never live at his house. He has a problem with me having guys over. (yes, I'm 29...he doesn't care...which is his prerogative. It would be his house - if I lived with him - anyway). But he also sees me as an adult. A responsible adult. One that he turns to when he needs to vent. That....makes me feel so good. :-) It's nice to know someone can rely on you and genuinely wants your input/feedback. I think the reason my dad and I have such a great relationship that sustains the constant change is because we both understand that things evolve...and as time moves on...we all move forward.
I didn't really start opening up to my dad until I was in college. I was so busy in high school that I didn't really think about too many things. When I started to get sick in college, I started telling my dad more and more things. I can only imagine how it must've felt on his end hearing me say such horrible things about myself. Probably the same way Derek felt when I'd say them to him. Helpless. But the difference between boyfriends and Dad's is that Dad's are forever...and I'm so glad mine didn't give up on me :-)
My Sister
Ah my sister. My sister and I are definitely NOT two peas in a pod. We are pretty opposite. I wouldn't say as far opposite as you can get...but definitely different from each other. More and more I hear myself saying, "I wonder where the old Kelly went?" and as more and more time goes by, I've been thinking...was I making this old Kelly up?
Of all the people in my family, I'd say my sister is the one that has changed the most. She's had a lot of things come her way in the last 10+ years...which would undoubtedly change anyone. Unfortunately, these things have seemed to not change her for the better. Am I glad she's home again, definitely. Do I wish she had a different perspective on life, without a doubt.
I'm not gonna go on a whole diatribe about my sister...because, well, I don't need to. Basically what y'all need to know is that in a world of constant change...she isn't. And she's scared. Fear is the quickest way to not change. She's allowing it to control her life right now. I can only hope she finds her way out. I'm willing to help her if she wants it...but honestly....most of the "heavy lifting" has to be done on her own.
My Stepdad
Bruce is pretty much awesome. Seriously. If any of you know him...he's just the nicest man ever. I don't know how my mom lucked out. She doesn't treat him the way he should be treated..but he is totally ok with that. He loves the neighborhood. He loves the neighbors. He loves me and kelly. He's content. He just goes with the flow. Sometimes I'd give anything to have his attitude on life. Of course, he's seen some bad stuff (Vietnam Vet) so I can imagine that will put everything into perspective for a person.
The only change with Bruce is that he's pretty consistently awesome. :-)
My Stepmom
Jo is just as awesome herself. I definitely lucked out in these Step Parents categories. I could've ended up with the "evil" stepparents. Not so. Thankfully I have Jo to talk to when I need someone to listen. The changes between her and I since I came home have all been positive too. The fact that I know I'll always have an open and non-judgemental ear to listen to me is so amazing.
The relationship I've had with Joanne has evolved over the years. When I first met Jo I was pretty young and some of my first memories with her aren't until 12 or 13. I remember having a difficult time accepting her at first. She was nice. Always nice. But I wasn't sure how I was going to allow her in my life or if I was going to open up to her. As I got older, I realized I really liked spending time with her. I got to talk to her more and get to know her a little better. One HUGE factor was that I grew up. Emotionally....Physically....Literally. And that helped the relationship. It's safe to say Jo is one of my go-to people when I need to vent. I'm grateful for that.
okay okay - enough of the ramblings....next post will be better!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
A Family Friendly....er.....Family Frustrations
I love my family.
I realize for a lot of people - that statement is an obvious one - not just for me - but for everyone. You just inherently love your family. Yes?
Obviously, not everyone was raised that way. You don't always love the people that you are surrounded by....but as we all know: You can pick your friends but you can't pick your family...you're just stuck with them. What you get is what you get. Almost a sort of a roulette game if you will. Some times you land on a 7 red (good old lucky number 7) and other times you land on 13 black (eek). Granted - it's all relative. Some people totally have it worse than I do....but honestly...I wouldn't wish the kind of people that some of my family are, upon ANYONE. Not even my worst enemy. Truly.
Allow me to explain.
Yesterday, my mother, sister and I were sitting at home, enjoying a nice saturday afternoon when my Aunt (my mother's eldest sister) calls from Scotland. Ok fine. She's flying in tomorrow (4th) and wants to make sure she has one of our phone numbers for us to pick her up at the airport. No prob. Sure enough, that brief conversation turns into my Aunt telling my sister that she was mad that we didn't call her on Christmas or New Years and that the only person that did make a call was our other Aunt Barbara.
Let me stop right here and explain - my sister and I - we are two of 8 nieces and nephews my aunt has. NONE OF THEM CALLED HER - so how is this our problem? What's that you say? She's giving us money from her will/our inheritance early so we should do whatever we can to make her happy?
This is the kind of family I have.
Perfect example: When I was in college, I had an opportunity to enter a beauty pageant here in Philly. I went to a consultant who told me I had a really good chance at winning. The only problem was that I needed a "sponsor" to pay my fee for the pageant. So I asked my Grandfather because he has a company and surely my own grandfather would support this, right? Surely your own grandparents think you're beautiful and smart and witty enough to win a scholarship contest (read: Miss Congeniality). His words, "What makes you think you can win this contest? Do you have a guarantee? I don't think I can give you this money because I don't think you'll win."
These are the kinds of family members we have. They are not willing to give without knowing their investment is secure and that they'll get what they pay for, so to speak.
I should lay a disclaimer now, NOT ALL OF MY MOM'S FAMILY IS LIKE THIS. My Grandfather is the worst. My Aunt Kim (the oldest of the 8) is awful. Each of the kids have their own different personal quirks. But after what my aunt kim said to my mom and sister yesterday about how she thinks they should be living their life (god the judgment was just OOZING out), I put my foot down.
No one is allowed to speak to my mom or sister that way. It's re-god-damn-diculous! If my Aunt so much as speaks to me in any kind of manner that way - she'll be going to back to Scotland in a coffin instead of an airplane.
As much as I complain about my family some times. They're MINE. And especially my immediate family. YOU DON'T EF WITH THEM. EVER. I'm VERY protective of them, to say the least. Which I'm sure you can figure out by now.
All the same. what kind of family does that?
I realize for a lot of people - that statement is an obvious one - not just for me - but for everyone. You just inherently love your family. Yes?
Obviously, not everyone was raised that way. You don't always love the people that you are surrounded by....but as we all know: You can pick your friends but you can't pick your family...you're just stuck with them. What you get is what you get. Almost a sort of a roulette game if you will. Some times you land on a 7 red (good old lucky number 7) and other times you land on 13 black (eek). Granted - it's all relative. Some people totally have it worse than I do....but honestly...I wouldn't wish the kind of people that some of my family are, upon ANYONE. Not even my worst enemy. Truly.
Allow me to explain.
Yesterday, my mother, sister and I were sitting at home, enjoying a nice saturday afternoon when my Aunt (my mother's eldest sister) calls from Scotland. Ok fine. She's flying in tomorrow (4th) and wants to make sure she has one of our phone numbers for us to pick her up at the airport. No prob. Sure enough, that brief conversation turns into my Aunt telling my sister that she was mad that we didn't call her on Christmas or New Years and that the only person that did make a call was our other Aunt Barbara.
Let me stop right here and explain - my sister and I - we are two of 8 nieces and nephews my aunt has. NONE OF THEM CALLED HER - so how is this our problem? What's that you say? She's giving us money from her will/our inheritance early so we should do whatever we can to make her happy?
This is the kind of family I have.
Perfect example: When I was in college, I had an opportunity to enter a beauty pageant here in Philly. I went to a consultant who told me I had a really good chance at winning. The only problem was that I needed a "sponsor" to pay my fee for the pageant. So I asked my Grandfather because he has a company and surely my own grandfather would support this, right? Surely your own grandparents think you're beautiful and smart and witty enough to win a scholarship contest (read: Miss Congeniality). His words, "What makes you think you can win this contest? Do you have a guarantee? I don't think I can give you this money because I don't think you'll win."
These are the kinds of family members we have. They are not willing to give without knowing their investment is secure and that they'll get what they pay for, so to speak.
I should lay a disclaimer now, NOT ALL OF MY MOM'S FAMILY IS LIKE THIS. My Grandfather is the worst. My Aunt Kim (the oldest of the 8) is awful. Each of the kids have their own different personal quirks. But after what my aunt kim said to my mom and sister yesterday about how she thinks they should be living their life (god the judgment was just OOZING out), I put my foot down.
No one is allowed to speak to my mom or sister that way. It's re-god-damn-diculous! If my Aunt so much as speaks to me in any kind of manner that way - she'll be going to back to Scotland in a coffin instead of an airplane.
As much as I complain about my family some times. They're MINE. And especially my immediate family. YOU DON'T EF WITH THEM. EVER. I'm VERY protective of them, to say the least. Which I'm sure you can figure out by now.
All the same. what kind of family does that?
Friday, January 1, 2010
A New Year - A New Perspective?
So often we find ourselves ringing in the new year telling ourselves, "This year will be different. This year I'm really going to do the things I set for myself as goals." Usually it's like that or something along those lines.
Here's the truth. I do this EVERY year. Sometimes, I accomplish them. More often than not, though.....I don't.
I'm starting over this year. I know I know. Everyone says that. It's January 1. Of course you're starting over. But you know, I really am.
This blog has always served a purpose for myself to basically whine to "no one" about the things going on in my life. I say "no one" even though I know a few of my friends read this on occasion. But my friends already know these things about me. That's why they're my friends.
From this point forward, I'm using this space to talk about the crazy things my mother does while I'm here at home (thank god it'll only be for a short period of time...a special post about living with your mother is yet to come!). It'll be about the choices I decide to make while I'm struggling to figure out what it is I want exactly in my life. It'll be about my constant desire to want to be healthy (read: skinny) and my struggle to know that I'll never be a super model nor will I ever look like one. Basically, It'll be about me - but in a less whiny manner.
I hope to amuse (first and foremost) and of course reflect on my life. I've been through a lot in the 28 years I've lived on this place we call Earth, but my goodness do I still feel like I have SO much to learn.
Shall I start with my supposed 2K10 RESOLUTIONS? (k, but don't hold your breadth...let's just say, if I can accomplish 1/3 of this list, I'll totally be thrilled)
1. Visit friends more/Be better at Keeping in Touch
2. Take a big trip to Europe
3. Finish Grad School
4. Get a head coaching job
5. Read more often
6. Help/Volunteer/Donate my time more
7. Make RTF Golf Outing awesome!
8. Write more
(Exercise goals)
1. Eat Clean
2. Eliminate Sugar
3. Run a Marathon
4. Get Six Pack Abs (haha)
5. Get my Spinning Certification
6. Get my training Certification
7. Work with a trainer
8. Ride with a Team
So I guess that's about it for now. There are more - but the "more" is really just on my Bucket List of life.
I think I can do almost all of these things this year. We'll see next January 1.
Here's the truth. I do this EVERY year. Sometimes, I accomplish them. More often than not, though.....I don't.
I'm starting over this year. I know I know. Everyone says that. It's January 1. Of course you're starting over. But you know, I really am.
This blog has always served a purpose for myself to basically whine to "no one" about the things going on in my life. I say "no one" even though I know a few of my friends read this on occasion. But my friends already know these things about me. That's why they're my friends.
From this point forward, I'm using this space to talk about the crazy things my mother does while I'm here at home (thank god it'll only be for a short period of time...a special post about living with your mother is yet to come!). It'll be about the choices I decide to make while I'm struggling to figure out what it is I want exactly in my life. It'll be about my constant desire to want to be healthy (read: skinny) and my struggle to know that I'll never be a super model nor will I ever look like one. Basically, It'll be about me - but in a less whiny manner.
I hope to amuse (first and foremost) and of course reflect on my life. I've been through a lot in the 28 years I've lived on this place we call Earth, but my goodness do I still feel like I have SO much to learn.
Shall I start with my supposed 2K10 RESOLUTIONS? (k, but don't hold your breadth...let's just say, if I can accomplish 1/3 of this list, I'll totally be thrilled)
1. Visit friends more/Be better at Keeping in Touch
2. Take a big trip to Europe
3. Finish Grad School
4. Get a head coaching job
5. Read more often
6. Help/Volunteer/Donate my time more
7. Make RTF Golf Outing awesome!
8. Write more
(Exercise goals)
1. Eat Clean
2. Eliminate Sugar
3. Run a Marathon
4. Get Six Pack Abs (haha)
5. Get my Spinning Certification
6. Get my training Certification
7. Work with a trainer
8. Ride with a Team
So I guess that's about it for now. There are more - but the "more" is really just on my Bucket List of life.
I think I can do almost all of these things this year. We'll see next January 1.
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