A JOKE

"Knock, knock"

"Who's there?"

"Interrupting cow..."

"Interrupting cow......" "MOOOOOO"



Ok, okay...so it's better to tell that joke in person.  But it's undoubtedly my favorite joke.  It's my 'go-to' joke.  Don't judge me.

Lately, I've felt like the above joke.  When you first start to hear the joke, you think it's going to be like any other knock knock joke you've heard before.....and then as you get farther into the joke it's abruptly different than what it appears to be on the surface......just like me.

I went out with some friends last night....and I do have to stop for a moment and explain how unbelievably grateful I am to have such amazing friends.  Especially ones that have been putting up with me for this long with the whole ex-boyfriend situation.  I don't know what I've done to deserve such awesome people in my life but I am very humbled by their timing and kind words they always have for me.  It really does make a girl/woman feel special......but I digress.....

Despite not having his phone number in my phone, I managed to text my ex-boyfriend.  Why?  I don't even know.  I didn't have anything to say to him....and when he responded (of which I was surprised) I simply wanted to know where he was.  I did proceed to ask him where he was - for whatever reason.  I didn't want to see him (although thinking about it now, I probably unconsciously wanted to).  He did text me back...and I should've let it be....but I'm an idiot.  Or at least, that's how I started to feel.

Here is this guy who broke up with me....basically acts like it's no big deal that we were ever together....doesn't really seem to care about me at all...and somehow, I am still pining away for him.  WHAT THE EF IS WRONG WITH ME!?  WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF?  He doesn't care...and if he does, he certainly is showing it in a weird way.  And honestly, I'm letting it happen.  What's wrong with me?  Why do I think I deserve this kind of treatment?  If it were any of my other friends I'd tell them they need to purge their system of this guy.  They need to get him out of their life.  They'll be better off without him.

I need to just purge him from my life so as not to be the JOKE anymore.