A long time coming....

Clear your mind. Ok? Alright, now imagine you're having a conversation with someone and it goes something like this:

Someone: "So did you have fun last night?"
You: "Yep"
Someone: "Where'd you go?"
You: "Teresa's in Wayne and then Christophers"
Someone: "Who'd you go with?"
You: "Andrew"
Someone: "Is that the same guy you went out with last time?"
You: "Nope"

Seems like a harmless conversation, right? Sure...but only if that "someone" is a friend and only if that friend is someone you want to tell that information to. Now imagine that "someone" is your mother. And imagine if you answer those questions with "I went out in Wayne"...and "I went out with a friend".....seems like those would be acceptable answers, yes? Well they're not...didn't you know?

To most of us, asking someone the 5 W's and 1 H is generally a good way to find out information - but at some point is just becomes plain nosy. My mother is nosy. She wants to know who, what, where, when, why, and how.....and personally, as a 30 year old woman, I don't feel as though I need to tell her that stuff. I can understand her being interested in what's going on in my life...but the minute I tell her things she asks MORE questions...and those questions lead to follow up questions days later. So, for example..in a few days, she'll ask me if I'm going to see Andrew again....she will. I swear. What she doesn't know is that Andrew is a coaching friend and we went out to meet up with other coaching friends. There is nothing going on there. But she hears of a guy that I go out with and instantly thinks to herself, 'maybe this'll be the one that she ends up dating and marring and blah blah blah....' you get the idea.

What she doesn't understand is that if it IS the guy that I'm going to date, I'm not bringing him home to her nor am I telling her about him because if it doesn't work out I don't want her to ask me questions about him a month later (like she does). "Have you heard from....fill in the blank"..and then I'm like....THANKSMOMFORBRINGINGUPSOANDSOWHENIHAVENTBEENTHINKINGABOUTHIMANDBEENDOINGALRIGHTWITHOUTHIM YES, that required all caps and a run-on sentence.

If you've never had this problem with your parents then I can honestly tell you that you are VERY lucky. Most people think that my mom is harmless but I can assure you that numerous sessions of therapy with my therapist will tell you otherwise and all she really wants is grankids - no joke. She said it the other night amongst our neighbors.

She DVR's 'Say Yes to the Dress' and 'House Hunters' and 'My Fair Wedding' and whatever other show there is to watch about weddings/moving/husbands/families to inadvertently create a subconscious in my head that will somehow turn into me finding a husband and magically defying the rules of pregnancy and not waiting 9 months before I have a baby. Yeah. I am not kidding. What she doesn't realize is that with each of these shows that she watches it makes me less and less interested in having a husband or even kids. And the sad thing is, I WANT THOSE THINGS! But on my own terms and in my own time.

So the question is - have y'all ever encountered a parent like this? What do you do to deal with it?

I can't wait to move out....