A letter to the editor....

of my life.

Dear Universe,

First off, let me thank you for giving me relatively clean air to breathe in my lungs every day. I really do appreciate the fact that you haven't collasped on yourself like the dying star we all know you will be one day so....major props for holding out...even if 2012 really IS the end of the world....if you could just slow down that whole global warming thing you got goin on, I'd really appreciate it. Plus - I'm tired of these crazy-ass winters, random tsunami's, and unexpected shark attacks in waters they aren't supposed to happen in. All that being said - way to go for natural selection/survival of the fittest (you are proving Chuckie D right)....(too mean?).

Secondly, let's get real about some things. The world in which we live in - or rather the planet on which we exist (aka Earth) is kind of in disarray. Forget the US for a minute but what's with all this crap going on everywhere else? For the most part, I don't believe it's naive to think that people are generally good. Unfortunately, the news outlets think the only thing people want to hear about is sad, shocking, scary, weird information. How about you try to reverse all that? Huh? Can't do it? Then you're not as powerful as you think you are. Sure you did that whole 'Big Bang' thing...but if that's all you got then I'm not impressed. It's time to step it up a bit. Whaddya say?

Thirdly, a few odds and ends....Thank you for making the Phillies amazing again this year...maybe I really should be thanking Reuben Amaro? Either way - you're the best! In addition, the eagles?! I know people are saying this is a dream team but like...another order of awesomesauce for the entire city of Philly - you rock! And let's not forget my Blues! Chelsea is lookin' pretty phenom right now....let's go for the triple crown this year, whaddya say? I know Man U and Man City are good - but geez louise...we all know God is a Chelsea fan, else why would the sky be blue and white? Exactly. Major props to keeping It's Always Sunny...on the air...or should I just be thanking FX? Either way...I'm pretty pleased with that.

Finally, and more importantly, for me (ha!)....you didn't think I'd leave myself out of this did you? WTF. Like seriously. I know every thing is a learning experience and the people we meet are part of those experiences but like, WTF mate? Srsly, wtf. I am over your omnipotence. Just let me in - a little - on what you've got in store for me.....you know I've never been patient so what makes you think once I turned 30 I'd suddenly learn it? People tell me that all I can do is the best I can do every day...but is that really enough? And will I truly find my path if I just leave it up to you? I'm taking active approaches to the life I truly want to live and I really hope you don't go and ef it up for me. Especially if you do and people then tell me, "it wasn't meant to be" or "it'll happen just not now". Like, what? No. I won't accept that.

So basically this is me telling you I'm giving you 1 year. 1 year! 1 year to get me where I need to be. I've been working toward my second life for the last 3 years. I'm ready to move forward. Help a sista out! If, after that one year, I don't get what I want - I'm going to tell you to stick the firey ball of light we call the sun in a place where it won't shine and changing my path. To where? I have some ideas....but for now, let's just say this is my ultimatum to you. You have 1 year.....muahahahahahaha!

Love ya!
fitz ;-)

p.s. if you read all of that and didn't laugh y'all probably think i'm crazy....I'm not. I'm only partly serious.