“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"
“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. ~Matthew 6:25-34
I often think of this bible passage when things start to get a bit anxious or hectic for me. I thought last week my troubles were quelled - little did I realize a few things:
1. The Student Teaching deadline for certain schools is earlier than some - Lower Merion is one of them. I need to get my information in before April 1. Yes, that's two weeks away - but - I'd like to have a teacher lined up for it so I don't have to worry about possibly not coaching next year. That - would seriously be devastating for me. I actually am even considering putting off student teaching for a semester if I can't get placed at Lower Merion simply because I want to keep coaching there. Yes, that means my life takes a backseat but then you understand how important coaching this team and these girls are to me.
2. I worry that I'm not doing a good job with coaching lacrosse. Nothing has been brought to my attention about it and the head coach hasn't said anything to make me think this - I'm just preemptively worrying. I know, I know - silly. But you know me, I like to be good at everything I do!
3. Money - it's always a big factor and a high anxiety topic for me. I don't have much. I want to move out. I'm looking for a summer job that helps me to do this - but then, if I can't student teach - I'll have to find a regular job that still allows me to coach. SO MANY THINGS TO THINK ABOUT! I also have to figure out how I'm going to pay for student teaching (isn't that a rip-off? you have to pay to student teach? lame). I've been thinking about talking to my Aunt Kim and seeing if she'll give me the money that she's leaving me for inheritance, early, so that I can pay for it. I don't think it's totally implausible since she was giving Kelly money for grad school.
I suppose the biggest thing on my mind right now is the student teaching thing. I already have an email out to a teacher and hopefully she can help point me in the right direction. I just really want things to finally work out for me. I suppose the anxiety is my own fault since I should've probably looked at the deadline sooner and had this thing wrapped up. I'd like to be able to bring my student teaching papers in this week so I don't have to scramble at the last minute. God, I'm a mess.
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