WHY DO I CARE?
It's often happened in my life that I end up getting the short end of the stick. Now, stick with me here for a moment - this is not a "woe is me" kind of diatribe. In fact - it's really not meant to sound like anything but an observation from the last 20+ years of my life.... And this is certainly not any kind of "give me a pat on the back because I'm awesome" statement either.....
So often in our lives, we find ourselves doing things for others that we know ahead of time will reap no kind of reward other than doing that particular thing out of kindness. In the last few months, I've not only re-adopted this philosophy - kindness above all without any expectation of it in return - but I've also realized that in some cases, you just kind of have to let it be too.
I'm not about to sit here and mention specific examples in my life where I've gone above and beyond to help someone else and gotten nothing in return - ever....but what I want to really ask myself sometimes is "Why do I care THIS MUCH to help someone or be there for someone that really isn't there for me?" Do I already know that I don't/won't need their help back? Do they know it? Do they think I am the stronger of the two people in the situation or just in general?
I am a relatively strong-willed person. If I see something I want I'm most likely going to go after it until I get it. This can be a good and bad thing. The good is that most people see me as a Type A person who acts on her intentions and about 98% of the time follows through. The bad thing is that I feel personally responsible when I realize that I am only human and can only do so much - so I feel as though I'm letting people down. In other words - I have a hard time saying "no". Don't we all? Okay, maybe not all of us.....teach me how!! But I digress....
Why do I care about things SO much? My dad tells me it's because "that's just the kind of person you are Katie. You care about some people more than they deserve and you don't always get back what you put out. You've always been like that. It's not a bad thing." Indeed. It's not a bad thing to care. But how can I force myself to stop being to giving sometimes? or the question really is - SHOULD I force myself to stop caring so much?
WHY I DO CARE.....
I care because I know that regardless of whether or not someone or anyone gives back any kind of giving or caring in the way I do, I feel better knowing I'm helping someone. I just really like to help people.
I care because it's such a great feeling. I don't know if it's as popular as it was when I was younger but the idea of 'practice random acts of kindness every day' still holds true for me. I really do enjoy it.
Of course, there are downfalls to the concept of caring TOO much - gut-wrenching anxiety, worry, etc. These are still things I have to work on letting go. There is nothing I can do about others' reactions or how other people handle their lives....all I can do is what I can with what I have in my time. And I choose to spend it caring about people....
How do you choose to spend your time?
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