7-24-09

It was around 8:30AM.  My sister was watching TV and my mother was in the kitchen doing her crossword puzzle.  I was just finishing up my coffee and getting ready to head to the gym to.

Corrine (Glenn's girlfriend at the time), knocked on our front door and stood in our living room.  Her face was as serious as I've ever seen someones face.  She had only this to say, "Rachel and Troy are dead."

At first, as most people would, we said, "WHAT".  You never think that you'll ever hear those words about a 30 year old woman and her 3 year old child....and yet....it was all true.  Ever since then, the pain has lessened but my memory of that day is still very clear.  I won't get into all the details about their passing and how it happened but let's just say there are many MANY posts and conversations that I could have with all of you about everything and it would still hurt the same.

Rachel was one of my best friends growing up.  As with many of the kids I grew up with on Aster Lane - most, if not all, of my childhood memories include her in some way.  Whether it was when she and I would play school together or when she was teaching me how to roller-skate (remember those?) or when she would make silly dances with me and when it was my birthday and all my friends paired off to make up a dance routine and she stepped in to make it seem like it didn't matter because I had an older friend doing mine with me....she was always one of the kindest people I knew.  There are an incredible amount of similarities between her and I.....and maybe, even beyond our childhood, it's why I still feel so connected to her.

Troy was such an amazing child.  He was born about 4 months premature and was in the hospital for a good six months beyond his birth - being born just over 1lb.  He, from the beginning, was one of the strongest kids I knew.  He was a survivor and a joy!  Every day when Rachel would come to the circle, he would make a bee-line to my mom's house to play with us....well, mainly my mother.  He would come over and knock on the door - even if his Gammy told him we weren't home.  Often times you'd find him falling asleep while watching Wall-E in our living room.  I remember babysitting for him when he was just a few months old.  Such a joy! :-)  One of the best smiles I've ever seen.....but I digress.  Sadly, he was caught in the middle of the situation but he is with is mother, which is where he should be.....but that doesn't mean I don't miss him and her every day.

So where am I going with this??  Well, since their passing, we started a non-profit foundation in their honor.  The money we raise goes to local organizations that help to support women and children who are the victims of domestic abuse.  When we started we weren't sure what to use as our foundation logo.  We (myself, Rachel's parents and brother) decided on a butterfly.  Since then, I wanted to get a tattoo in commemoration of them.  I knew it had to be the butterfly.

Yesterday, that decision finally came to fruition.....the end result:

They were already with me all the time, but now, I have a constant reminder.  I can look down and know that no matter what I'm going through - Rachel and Troy are there to help me get through it.  It also reminds me that things are not nearly as bad as they could be - in any situation.

I miss them dearly.  Every day.  RIP Rach.  RIP Troy.