It's only temporary....

It starts with a simple thought: I am going to run today.

The thought becomes a morning routine: Wake up, have some coffee, eat some breakfast (preferably two English Muffins with peanut butter and jelly on them), put on running gear, make sure the iPod is charged, and get moving.

As I head down the three flights of stairs to the outside world, I get myself pumped with the music I've already started playing on my iPod.  It's always easier to start running if the music is already going - I've told myself this, for whatever reason, for as long as I've been running.

'As long as I've been running' - that phrase....it implies I've been doing it my whole life.  While in some way, shape or form I technically have been running in some way - I didn't take up the actual sport of running until I was living in Orlando.  It was 2007.  I remember because my first road race was in the Spring of 2008.

When I started, it was miserable.  I hated it.  Every minute of it.  It was annoying and hard and not fun.  Not fun at all.  But, I told myself - 21 days.  21 days is how long it takes to make something a habit.  Even though I wasn't running every day - I forced myself to run (off and on) for just over 21 days to see if it would really stick.  Despite still not really liking it - everything hurt - even my eyes - I stuck with it. 

My first race was a 10K.  Nope, I never do anything on a smaller scale.  And some might not think 6.2 miles is a lot - heck even I don't think. now, that it's that far - and I didn't think it was that much then either.....but it's where I wanted to start.  I was running the race with a friend.  My only goal was to beat her.  Ha!  How's that for motivation? :-)  After that, I signed up for a 15K and eventually my first Half Marathon.

At some point I'll get into my whole running history....but the real reason I bring it up is because it has been 26 days since I last ran.  26 days ago, I was mid-run and felt a complete burning and tearing sensation in my left foot.  After a few doctors visits and finally a visit to a foot specialist, I was told I had torn a tendon.  Yikes.  For the last 26 days I have been doing everything I possibly can to let it heal and get it back to where I can run again.  Those of you who know me know that running is my EVERYTHING.  It helped me cope with the anxiety and frustration of the breakup.  It's my me time.  It's basically become my Zen time.

Since then, I have been teaching spin, doing my own spin workouts, and taking a LOT of YOGA.  Yoga has really helped me cope and since the last two weeks of September were kind of where I felt like I hit rock bottom for the year.  But....things are getting better.

I am finally walking with minimal to no pain in my left foot.  I haven't attempted to run yet but have used the elliptical at the gym.  In fact, I am on my way to do so now.  I have another and hopefully final foot doctor appointment today (lord knows those aren't cheap) to get fitted for custom orthotics (yay! more money!)....but I suppose these are a necessary evil when it comes to getting back to running. 

Of course, I have been reading 'Born to Run' and just read a few chapters where it discusses not running with shoes and how that's actually better for you than with shoes....of course, I can't even imagine NOT using shoes at this point.  Maybe it'll be something I can build up to....

Regardless, the fact that I haven't been able to run in the last month has been so incredibly difficult for me - the patience that I was needing to learn/find has definitely been something I have somewhat attained.  I can't say it's been without a lot of tears and anger but I can definitely say that I have found a way to survive and exist without running.

Of course...I know it's only temporary :-).....