Part of where I'm going, is knowing where I'm coming from

I don't want to be
Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
~Gavin DeGraw

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Much love for Gavin. I liked him way before this song was used for One Tree Hill's theme song. And (guilty as charged) I do watch it - and the reruns:-) I can't help it!

So much of this song rings true for me on a daily basis. I just want to be me. Unfortunately, lately, I haven't felt all that much like myself. I'm happy - don't get me wrong..but there's just something that's missing.

I just looked at some pictures of myself and I'm like - how it is possible I look this fat, when I know I'm working out tons and eating right? I thought I was finally happy with how I look? I guess it will always be a constant struggle. Of course, usually when I get obsessive about my appearance its because something else is bothering me.

What's going on right now.....I'm still not working - I have cheer this coming weekend - but I think it's only two days instead of three which is kind of a bummer. I seemingly keep spending money where I know I shouldn't. Blah. I'm really a good person to keep control of my finances...but when you're bored..all you want to do is spend money. I need to find a hobby that keeps me from doing this. I told Paul I'd make him some comic strips (yes, with stick figures because my drawing is for crap hah!) but nonetheless - I'll do something:-) What else....um well I've been catching up on lots of other things - like reading...hah! Well honestly - I've been reading this blog. It's kind of nice to read what the opposite sex goes through in their single adventures.

I've been keeping myself busy the last week. And honestly - it's been pretty nice. I hung out with Simon twice last week - Wed night and Thursday night. Not sure what that deal is - but - nonetheless - it's nice to get out of the house. And I saw his new house and we had some good conversations so that was nice. We haven't really hung out since we dated...so it was a little different. Friday night I went out with Rich - dinner and the movies. It was SO AWESOME to catch up with him. I haven't seen/hung out with him in a while..not since he came over for the FLA/TENN game and beyond that - bowling. We had the opportunity to reflect on lots of things...and we're both on the same thought process for stuff in our lives:-) He's such a great guy. Saturday I didn't do much - Yoga and picked up my race packet for the Disney Princess Half Marathon on Sunday morning. Tried to go to bed early - to avoid one less hour of sleep from Daylight Savings time - but alas - my efforts were all for naught. I ended up taking nyquil to help me fall asleep. It was just one of those nights where I just couldnt turn off my brain. Annoying! Sunday I jogged/walked the race with Laurie:-) It was her first one - and I had no problem just being there for her. I wills ay that I am definitely signing up for the Philly Distance Run in September and then I think (gulp) the FULL MARATHON in Philly in November. I loved this run last year - as I only did the Half - but I really think I'm ready for a Full and what better place to do it than in Philly?! My love of loves:-) Went to Aroma for Brunch and stayed there for a good five hours - came home and played some guitar hero and promptly passed out after a few phone calls. I was beat! It was a great night sleep though - 9 full hours! Haven't done that in awhile.

I think the reason I dont think Im as thin is because Im pretty much sitting all day - maybe today i'll go for a walk and see if that helps a bit as Im used to walking around at work a lot more.

Lots of awesome stuff on the horizon for Katie! Upcoming this week - working this weekend - Darryl's bday extravaganza (Saturday night) and possibly simon's - he was talking about having a st pattys day party/housewarming party - we'll see how that goes. Next week is the doozy! Dad and Steve are down for a few days to see some Spring Training Baseball! I'll be joining them on the 17th and 18th! and then the 19th is another game here in Otown. Friday I leave for DC to visit Paul! Cant wait to hang out - do yoga - enjoy awesome company - and have awesome brunch! yay! The weekend after that - I've got GLOVE tickets for the 27th - and a relatively free weekend (of course things will probably pop up! And that's until the end of March! I can't wait!

Just keep on being myself - and the rest will follow:-)