So long as I sing with inflection
That makes you feel that Ill convey
Some inner truth of vast reflection
But Ive said nothing so far
And I can keep it up for as long as it takes
And it dont matter who you are
If Im doing my job then its your resolve that breaks
Because the hook brings you back
I aint tellin you no lie
The hook brings you back
On that you can rely
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I always forget how simple those lyrics are. Simple. Just the way things should be. Right now - things appear to be simple. I am happy. Life is good. But. I can't help but think of some of the other things that have been on my mind.
Not really good or bad - just - things.
When I start to worry - I try my best to sit back and ask myself why I am worrying when generally there isn't a whole lot I can do in most of the situations and therefore some of the best action is no action at all.
Lately - I've been getting vibes from a few friends that I'm not really sure how to read. I don't know if it's because of something I've done or something that's going on in their life that they are hestitant to tell me about. I've been there - I'm there right now. I have a major thing on my mind that I haven only told a few people about. I haven't said much about it because I don't want to get my hopes up. And to be honest - I'm not entirely sure if it's the right course of action for me.
Now is really the time to make some major changes - if I'm going to make them. Ha. Who am I kidding - there is no time like the present for any change. But of course - we all know change can be difficult. I know I've learned to adapt to it. But at the same time, it's the first time I'm entirely comfortable in a place that I moved to on a whim. I guess some times good things do come from bad situations.
Lots of cryptic talk. Sigh. It's weird. I have these vivid and certain thoughts every night - but when it comes to actually writing it all down - I am at a loss for words.
Right now - I think a friend of mine is mad at me. I don't know how to approach her about it. I don't even think I know what I did wrong - but it doesn't mean she isn't mad at me. Being so far away from some of my closest friends makes it difficult some times. I'm usually pretty good with keeping in touch with them. Things have been super busy lately though. And to top it off - I am starting to worry there is something that is really wrong with me. Of course, I keep telling myself I am a happy and healthy human being! But that being said - my stomach problems are revisiting. I have a doctor's appt in a few weeks - I am hoping that they can fit me in earlier than like a month later for the colonoscopy because if the worst case scenario is true - I seriously don't know what I'm going to do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am day three into an 18 day work "week". I have no day's off until I fly home to Philly on the 13th of February. Yes, I'm flying on Friday the 13th. Whatevs. For as superstitious as I am about things - that day nor that number is really important to me.
I kind of feel bad that I can't hang out with my friends all that much - but them knowing me and the fact that I'm a freelancer, they know this time of year is super busy for me. I am, however, hoping to get in a yoga class or two with Pam (we're going to try it - we both figure it'll be good to try something new), and definitely a dinner or two with Nick or Jon. Haven't seen either of them since Jon's bday party.
Don't get me wrong - it's nice to be working and making bank this time of year - especially with the economy being so craptastic. Which kind of goes back to the major thing on my mind. I'll unveil it all in good time...but I guess I'm trying to do some major soul searching - and it feels like I'm all alone in that. Granted, what I choose to do with my life is entirely up to me - but it's nice to have friends to bounce things off of. I know - everyone gets busy. I get it. I'm guilty of it too - bleh. I'll be really disappointed if she is mad at me. :-/
No comments:
Post a Comment