Last Day of the Month....

Where oh where did September go?! Seriously. We have 3....THREE months left in 2011. I am seriously blown away by how quickly this year went and that it feels as though it all just started. So much has changed in just these past 9 months. I guess more change is on the horizon.

This week has been a 'head down and push through' week. Basically everyone bailed on me this week which is fine because my horoscope (don't judge) told me this week would be a bear...in fact, the next two weeks are supposed to be kind of sucky too.....so I'm prepared for that.

And yes...to touch on it....I do read my horoscope. While I don't follow it religiously - I do get one sent to me every morning in my email. And I do read a monthly horoscope projection from Susan Miller's Astrology Zone. Honestly - she's been pretty right since I started reading them - which I believe was back in July around my birthday. Whether you believe in them or not, I do think there is some element of realism to them.

Astrology is the study of celestial bodies interpreted as affecting personality, human affairs, and natural events.[1] The primary astrological bodies are the Sun, Moon, and planets, which are analyzed by their aspects (relative positions to one another), by their placement in 'houses' (spatial divisions of the sky), and their movement through signs of the zodiac (spatial divisions of the ecliptic). To read more about it you can google it...but basically - it's how people used to make decisions.

I truly believe we are affected by the environment in which we are surrounded. I haven't decided yet if my life is fated or if I have control of my destiny but what I do know is that there are a lot of things that happen to me that are out of my control and it makes sense that a lot of the times it has to do with where I'm at and how things have effected me.

I'm looking forward to reading my October astrology reading. Lame? Possibly....but don't sit there and tell me you don't know your sign. Everyone knows. And don't tell me you've NEVER looked up what your sign means....you're lying.

Me? I'm a cancer - water sign :-) I'd say this is the best description of me and what I'm all about as far as astrology goes. My compatibility is typically with Scorpios (Oct 23-Nov22) and Pisces (Feb 19 - March 20) but I am also compatible with Taurus (April 20 - May 21), Virgo (August 23 - Sept 23) and Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 20). The dates are give or take a few days because some of my best friends are actually Scorpio's. It'd be interesting if I actually sat down and took a look at the dates of birth of my friends and past boyfriends were to see where everything falls.

What do you think? Do you follow astrology or do you think it's all a bunch of bologna? Like I said, I read it every day but I don't take it for scripture. I do find some times that it's ironic when I read it later in the day after everything has happened and it was pretty accurate.

On the hook....

We've all had one of these people....in one way or another. I was watching an old episode of How I Met Your Mother tonight and realize....we all have a person we keep 'on the hook'...essentially meaning that there's always one person we have as a "backup" or as a "go to" when we don't want to be alone. I should specify that I'm pretty sure this applies to everyone that is SINGLE....not those that are currently involved with someone - especially if you're serious with them.

Who're mine? Well...I was thinking about it and to be honest I am pretty sure I know who he or they are...

What makes a person an "on the hook" person? When you find yourself telling someone: "I just can't give you what you want right now....." or "I can't be with you right now because (fill in the hole for whatever lame excuse you've heard before)..." or "You're great but my life is so crazy right now that I just don't have time to make major plans...." or "I'm not really a planner".

And as I just wrote those last two - I know who's hook I'm on and have been on before. Now tell me you've never found yourself hearing someone say that kind of stuff to you or that you, yourself, haven't said that to someone? True. They all sound like ways to break up with someone or ways to not hurt someone's feelings so that IF by chance you decide to hang out again, they're not pissed beyond belief and it has them or you thinking, "maybe they're not so busy now.....sweet" And you go out with them again...

Truth is....if a guy really wants to be with you or you really want to be with someone YOU WILL FIND A WAY. Those things that you might have heard or said at some point aren't excuses, they are reasons that you aren't necessarily with someone that could be so great for you. Also, truthfully, you don't want to really be with someone that brushes you off that way anyway....right? Agreed. Then why do we keep going back? Because we think that maybe..just maybe...this time they really won't get busy...or maybe they've suddenly become a planner...

I talk about guys a lot and it's true that most guys don't change. Girls, don't do it! Don't even try. The only way a guy will change is if it's for HIM. And Ladies...same goes for you too....DON'T CHANGE FOR ANYONE! Do it for yourself if you're going to change. It's taken me a while to realize that if I meet a guy and he's got some things about him that you don't know if you can look past...it's probably not going to change...no matter how much you like him.

So...no you're all wondering who's hook I'm on and who I've got on my hook....right? Ah, too bad. I'm not going to tell you :-) But those of you that know enough about my personal life are probably smart enough to figure it out.....

So here's part of my new leaf I'm trying to turn over....no more. No more keeping someone on the hook. No more being on someone's hook. Sure, maybe I'll be alone. Isn't any different than my current situation. There is someone out there that will hook me and always want to see me. Someone who will have no problem planning things with me a week in advance. Someone who will want to be with me right now..not in a few months. Someone who will want to be with me because I'm great and that's it.

Small tangent: I feel as though sometimes things get misconstrued with friends and so if you're a girl with guy friends there is that possibility that these friendships can be thought of as being "on the hook" and vice versa with guys and girls. I've tried to be honest with any of my guy friends that have mentioned they've been interested in me as more than friends but I don't see them that way.

New Leaf.

Redacted

I'm redacting something from the previous post. The one that deals with the new years resolution of 'being better with guys'. Yeah. So much for that. It's a long story and I'll share it with all of you at some point I'm sure. I just don't feel like dwelling on it right now and to be honest I need to start listening and following Rachels Rules....namely Rule #15. It basically says that it's okay to be excited about a guy and it's not crazy to want to spend more time with him if you're in to him...he should want to spend more time with you too....and if by chance he doesn't feel that way...it's 100% good to peace the ef out and find someone else that will get excited about seeing you.

So today...I'm turning a new page....starting a new chapter. New rules of my own:

1. I will stop drinking so much - this might seem silly but I just don't feel as good on a day to day basis when I drink - even if it's only once a week. Plus, financially I can't really afford it.

2. I'll be better to my body and start fueling it in a healthier way. I've been eating a lot of crap lately on my own accord. Nachos are not a good food choice :-) haha. No matter how much I love them.

3. I will continue to educate my mind and be good to my soul. I will not allow anyone to make me feel like what I am doing is wrong. All I can do every day is my best.

4. I will always keep in mind that no matter how bad it might seem, things will get better.

5. I will keep my distance from guys. If they aren't in to me or excited about me - I will not allow myself to sit and pine away for them.

6. I will be better at saving my money and spending it wisely.

Clear Eyes. Full Hearts. Can't Lose.