On the hook....

We've all had one of these people....in one way or another. I was watching an old episode of How I Met Your Mother tonight and realize....we all have a person we keep 'on the hook'...essentially meaning that there's always one person we have as a "backup" or as a "go to" when we don't want to be alone. I should specify that I'm pretty sure this applies to everyone that is SINGLE....not those that are currently involved with someone - especially if you're serious with them.

Who're mine? Well...I was thinking about it and to be honest I am pretty sure I know who he or they are...

What makes a person an "on the hook" person? When you find yourself telling someone: "I just can't give you what you want right now....." or "I can't be with you right now because (fill in the hole for whatever lame excuse you've heard before)..." or "You're great but my life is so crazy right now that I just don't have time to make major plans...." or "I'm not really a planner".

And as I just wrote those last two - I know who's hook I'm on and have been on before. Now tell me you've never found yourself hearing someone say that kind of stuff to you or that you, yourself, haven't said that to someone? True. They all sound like ways to break up with someone or ways to not hurt someone's feelings so that IF by chance you decide to hang out again, they're not pissed beyond belief and it has them or you thinking, "maybe they're not so busy now.....sweet" And you go out with them again...

Truth is....if a guy really wants to be with you or you really want to be with someone YOU WILL FIND A WAY. Those things that you might have heard or said at some point aren't excuses, they are reasons that you aren't necessarily with someone that could be so great for you. Also, truthfully, you don't want to really be with someone that brushes you off that way anyway....right? Agreed. Then why do we keep going back? Because we think that maybe..just maybe...this time they really won't get busy...or maybe they've suddenly become a planner...

I talk about guys a lot and it's true that most guys don't change. Girls, don't do it! Don't even try. The only way a guy will change is if it's for HIM. And Ladies...same goes for you too....DON'T CHANGE FOR ANYONE! Do it for yourself if you're going to change. It's taken me a while to realize that if I meet a guy and he's got some things about him that you don't know if you can look past...it's probably not going to change...no matter how much you like him.

So...no you're all wondering who's hook I'm on and who I've got on my hook....right? Ah, too bad. I'm not going to tell you :-) But those of you that know enough about my personal life are probably smart enough to figure it out.....

So here's part of my new leaf I'm trying to turn over....no more. No more keeping someone on the hook. No more being on someone's hook. Sure, maybe I'll be alone. Isn't any different than my current situation. There is someone out there that will hook me and always want to see me. Someone who will have no problem planning things with me a week in advance. Someone who will want to be with me right now..not in a few months. Someone who will want to be with me because I'm great and that's it.

Small tangent: I feel as though sometimes things get misconstrued with friends and so if you're a girl with guy friends there is that possibility that these friendships can be thought of as being "on the hook" and vice versa with guys and girls. I've tried to be honest with any of my guy friends that have mentioned they've been interested in me as more than friends but I don't see them that way.

New Leaf.