All my bags are packed...

I'm ready to go!.....

I'm moving! I'm moving! I'M MOVING! yay! :-D

Here' is where I am moving:


View Larger Map

I'm so pumped I can't even describe. Of course the actual leading up to the move is kind of nerve-wracking. I feel so disorganized plus I am worried that the people I have helping me move will somehow back out on me (by no fault of their own - one of their family members is sick and could possibly pass away in the new few days). I keep thinking to myself, it's not that much stuff, it's not that much stuff - but then I remember that I'm using all of my sisters old furniture - of which I went to our storage space yesterday and rearragned so it would be easier to get it out come Saturday. What I am hoping for is to move a lot of smaller things on Friday so that on Saturday I just have the big things: Couch, Chair(s), Table(s), Sofa, Bed, etc. Of course all that moving I did yesterday has kind of made my back feel like an 80 year old man. I took some advil and plan on running in about an hour or so - I haven't run since Saturday so it should feel good to stretch my legs a bit. But I can't wait!

I have a lot to do before then but in the mean time I have a story to tell all of you (all 7 of you that read this, haha).

So I went to the Phillies game on Friday night with my sister. Unfortunately the Phillies lost but they were attempting a good comeback. However, the phils and their loss has nothing to do with this story. In fact, what I'm about to tell you could've happened anywhere.

As Kelly and I were looking for our seats, we ran into my eye doctor and his wife - who also happen to be old friends because I used to be best friends with her daughter (who's birthday is the day after mine and when she'd have birthday parties they were almost always on the date of my birthday so they would always have a separate cake for me - how nice, right? Ah childhood memories). So we start chatting with Linda and Scott and eventually leads to talking about how a friend of mine from high school is coming home for 3 weeks in October - which is fantastic news because he lives in Hawaii and I never get to see him or really talk to him. But I digress, Linda turns to me and says:

"You know why he's coming home then, right? And for that long, right?"
To which I say, "I'm guessing because his mom wants him to be home? I don't know."
Linda: "Well that and...Anne had to convince him to come home because you know, that's when Derek is getting married." And then she kept talking about Penn State and how the girl wasn't local so the wedding wasn't local...blah blah blah. I kind of started listening...until she said:

"He was the one that got away...or something...right"......so which I replied...."no, but he was a serious boyfriend of mine."

She must've seen my facial expression (which was pretty annoyed - and I'll tell you why in a few lines) because she said, "oh but you're over him...right? You don't care about that - that was so long ago."

I replied with, "Of course I'm over him but I really could've done without knowing that information..........of course he's the one that is missing out, you know?" To which she promptly replied, "Well of course." Which was hardly sincere but you get my point.

I've mentioned Derek on this blog a few times before - for whatever reason (hurt from love, having a hard time trusting guys, keeping my distance....whatever) - and when I found out he was engaged to 'she who shall not be named' I defriended him in all areas of my life. I no longer have his phone number, his facebook is completely blocked and even if he were to find me (which would be difficult) he couldn't friend me. I've also deleted his email address. I just knew that I didn't want to have any part of his life anymore and I DEFINITELY didn't want him to be a part of mine. Some of you might have noticed I changed my name on Facebook - it's for that reason and for the reasons that I don't want the school districts to go searching for my FB stuff so they can try to dig up some dirt on me...even though there isn't any - but tangent aside, I have to say, I was kind of thrown for a loop when Linda told me.

I knew he was getting married - I knew it was inevitable and I knew it was probably happening soon if not already. But I didn't want to know - I just didn't want to know anything else about him. That's why I took all of the above actions! I guess the universe has a funny way of making you realize that you have no control over that stuff. But anyway - until the game started, I was kind of unsure to what think. I was texting my friend Matt and told him what happened. I'm not sure why but I always think of things between Derek and I, now, as a competition....and somehow - he's won all of them. I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT HAPPENS!? And I know life isn't a competition and I'm the only one doing that to myself, but really? REALLY. That's a whole other tangent I could go off on but if I did many of you would think I'm still hung up on him - trust me, I'm not. It just irks me that someone had to tell me. I know I would've found out sooner or later but I was COMPLETELY FINE with that being later instead of Friday night when I was having a good time with my sister.

Luckily, the game distracted me pretty well and I didn't think about it the rest of the night. I thought about it briefly on Saturday morning while I was on my run but since then, with the exception of this post, nada. I honestly don't care at all. I don't want to know about him and I don't want him to know about me.

All that being said - I hope he has a great life and gets everything he deserves.

As for me - I'm moving!!! DID YOU FORGET!? I didn't :-D So much to look forward to this school year:
New apartment
Swim team(s)
New adventures of living alone!
Playoff baseball
Teaching Spinning close to my apartment
Lacrosse Season
Student Teaching!
Trying to get a job

Speaking of those things I'm looking forward to, expect a list of goals shortly after I move into my new place. I want to set some parameters for myself for the next 11 months (yeah, the lease is 11 months but I'll most likely be there for longer :-)!)

A long time coming....

Clear your mind. Ok? Alright, now imagine you're having a conversation with someone and it goes something like this:

Someone: "So did you have fun last night?"
You: "Yep"
Someone: "Where'd you go?"
You: "Teresa's in Wayne and then Christophers"
Someone: "Who'd you go with?"
You: "Andrew"
Someone: "Is that the same guy you went out with last time?"
You: "Nope"

Seems like a harmless conversation, right? Sure...but only if that "someone" is a friend and only if that friend is someone you want to tell that information to. Now imagine that "someone" is your mother. And imagine if you answer those questions with "I went out in Wayne"...and "I went out with a friend".....seems like those would be acceptable answers, yes? Well they're not...didn't you know?

To most of us, asking someone the 5 W's and 1 H is generally a good way to find out information - but at some point is just becomes plain nosy. My mother is nosy. She wants to know who, what, where, when, why, and how.....and personally, as a 30 year old woman, I don't feel as though I need to tell her that stuff. I can understand her being interested in what's going on in my life...but the minute I tell her things she asks MORE questions...and those questions lead to follow up questions days later. So, for example..in a few days, she'll ask me if I'm going to see Andrew again....she will. I swear. What she doesn't know is that Andrew is a coaching friend and we went out to meet up with other coaching friends. There is nothing going on there. But she hears of a guy that I go out with and instantly thinks to herself, 'maybe this'll be the one that she ends up dating and marring and blah blah blah....' you get the idea.

What she doesn't understand is that if it IS the guy that I'm going to date, I'm not bringing him home to her nor am I telling her about him because if it doesn't work out I don't want her to ask me questions about him a month later (like she does). "Have you heard from....fill in the blank"..and then I'm like....THANKSMOMFORBRINGINGUPSOANDSOWHENIHAVENTBEENTHINKINGABOUTHIMANDBEENDOINGALRIGHTWITHOUTHIM YES, that required all caps and a run-on sentence.

If you've never had this problem with your parents then I can honestly tell you that you are VERY lucky. Most people think that my mom is harmless but I can assure you that numerous sessions of therapy with my therapist will tell you otherwise and all she really wants is grankids - no joke. She said it the other night amongst our neighbors.

She DVR's 'Say Yes to the Dress' and 'House Hunters' and 'My Fair Wedding' and whatever other show there is to watch about weddings/moving/husbands/families to inadvertently create a subconscious in my head that will somehow turn into me finding a husband and magically defying the rules of pregnancy and not waiting 9 months before I have a baby. Yeah. I am not kidding. What she doesn't realize is that with each of these shows that she watches it makes me less and less interested in having a husband or even kids. And the sad thing is, I WANT THOSE THINGS! But on my own terms and in my own time.

So the question is - have y'all ever encountered a parent like this? What do you do to deal with it?

I can't wait to move out....

Doctors, Lunches, and Cemetery's

In no particular order.

Those all relate to each other because I've been to or done all those things in the last week and a half.

Last Monday I got an email from my sister asking me to meet her at the doctor's that afternoon. Her physical health, while it could be better, is fine...it's her emotional health. Without getting into too much detail - things have since subsided but are still pretty prevalent. Let's just say she's working on it and to be honest this is 20 years in the making. She's needed to do this a long time ago. While I am worried about her I know this is something she has to do on her own. I'm just glad she's taking the right steps. I plan on helping her in any way I can and with whatever she needs.

This Monday (two days ago) would've been Rachel's 33rd Birthday. I visited her at the cemetery. It was the first time in over a year I've been to her grave. Sometimes I feel guilty that I don't go a lot but other times I know she's always with me. It might be weird to hear someone say it outloud but I truly believe that she's looking over me and keeping me in check. In the moments I find myself struggling, there is usually a sense of calm that comes over me. I believe it's her. I miss her a lot. I can't believe it's been 2 years since she left us. Still weird.

I went to lunch with a professor on Monday (before the cemetery) and it was a really refreshing situation. He's definitely someone to keep in touch with - he has a lot of contacts in the Education community and I think a good friend. He's a licensed psychologist - which is maybe why I feel so balanced now :-) haha. But truly a good guy. I'm also going to lunch with another (different) professor tomorrow. It'll be good to see him too. Another good person to keep in touch with - he also has some good contacts in the education field. I'm hoping he has a few leads for me as far as ways to make some extra income.

Elsewhere - some good changes coming around the bend.....I can't wait to tell y'all all about it! I just don't want to jinx it so I'll be telling everyone soon :-)