Ok - seriously - anyone that does not love The Sandlot - you just don't know. You just don't. Such a great coming of age movie. And it includes baseball....always reminds me of my childhood growing up on Aster Lane. (that particular movie is on while I write this, so you're all not like...where the ef did that come from katie?) :-)
Today was one of those days that went so fast, I blinked and it was over. I guess that's what happens when things are planned each hour for work. Today was Family Night at PSC. This means we had the pools open til 9:30, grounds til 10...and there were a lot of activities planned. That being said - I had such a great time! Seriously, I hope I can put pics up once Bethany puts them on Facebook because they're worth showing.
I'll most likely update about Family Night tomorrow night...but tonight I'd like to take a moment to talk about what I did yesterday.
Yesterday, I had a pretty typical day: I went to Spin Class; I got a pedicure; I came home for a bit and made my lunch; I went to work and then came home for the night. In between the pedicure and coming home - I went to George Washington Cemetery. In other words, I visited Rachel and Troy's Grave.
Yesterday was a gorgeous day. Gorgeous. I went. I sat down at the foot of the grave, where Rachel's stone is and I sobbed. I outwardly sobbed. Any one that knows me, knows I don't really cry in front of people unless something horrible has happened - so it's only normal that I was alone and crying to two people who mean/meant the world to me. I think it was a culmination of everything I've been keeping to myself just kind of coming to a breaking point. I tend to keep everything...well...a lot of things...to myself. It's an old habit that I've been trying to break but you know what they say about old habits and dying hard. So......I sobbed. I sobbed and sobbed. I talked. I sobbed. [[Sidenote: From now on, if I plan a trip to the cemetery I always need to bring tissues...using my sleeve is not a good option]]
I talked about what was on my mind. I told Rachel how much I could use her advice right now. And then this amazing thing happened....as it has before (the 5K race and at work)....a butterfly. A butterfly flew right by my head and just hovered over the grave with me. It flew away quickly - but it was there and it made me smile through the tears. I don't care if people think I'm crazy when I say that. I don't care what anyone thinks about that....it gives me comfort and I'll take it. I miss them dearly. I think about them often.
So alright. Enough about that. I know the sad stuff doesn't keep people reading. But. I don't make any apologies. This blog isn't supposed to always be happy. It's about me, the life I lead, and what I feel/think. It is what it is...and that's all I got :-). take it or leave it....it's just me.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
I could really use a wish right now....
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now, wish right now
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now, wish right now
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A few things:
-My journey into teaching seems to be coming to a screeching halt. I spoke with both my mother and father about this last night. Those that are close to me know why but basically I found out what happened in the past can NOT be reversed. What that basically means, unless I want to teach in Philly, I won't get a job at a public school in the 'burbs. Yeah. Awesome.
-I think since last week was so busy, I'm finally having a few moments this week to think about all the things that I didn't get to. I miss Rachel. I really do need to visit her grave. I am working late today, I'll probably go after spin class this morning.
-I am itching to move out of my mother's house SO entirely much. But financially, it doesn't seem like a smart move. Drain my savings just because my mother is driving me nuts? Seems logical - but not necessarily practical...esp if I won't have a certainty of getting a job after all is said and done.
-I was thinking last night - when I start student teaching in the Spring - when will I have time to incorporate a workout routine? I realized the only time is most likely early in the morning before school....which means...ugh...early mornings, early nights. Since I'll still be coaching at that time, and I doubt I'm gonna want to workout AFTER swim practices, morning workouts are probably my only option. Ugh. Maybe that's the time I should start P90X? ha. I can see it now - me waking up at 4:30 just to do P90X for an hour and then get ready for student teaching....ha. Um. Yeah.
-Don't kid yourself - that previous bullet is a pretty big deal to me. Anyone that knows me, knows I'm most likely going to either have a nervous breakdown or simply just get depressed. There's a reason I workout nearly every day....it keeps me sane!
-Can anyone else NOT believe August is this Sunday? Where is this year going?
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now, wish right now
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now, wish right now
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A few things:
-My journey into teaching seems to be coming to a screeching halt. I spoke with both my mother and father about this last night. Those that are close to me know why but basically I found out what happened in the past can NOT be reversed. What that basically means, unless I want to teach in Philly, I won't get a job at a public school in the 'burbs. Yeah. Awesome.
-I think since last week was so busy, I'm finally having a few moments this week to think about all the things that I didn't get to. I miss Rachel. I really do need to visit her grave. I am working late today, I'll probably go after spin class this morning.
-I am itching to move out of my mother's house SO entirely much. But financially, it doesn't seem like a smart move. Drain my savings just because my mother is driving me nuts? Seems logical - but not necessarily practical...esp if I won't have a certainty of getting a job after all is said and done.
-I was thinking last night - when I start student teaching in the Spring - when will I have time to incorporate a workout routine? I realized the only time is most likely early in the morning before school....which means...ugh...early mornings, early nights. Since I'll still be coaching at that time, and I doubt I'm gonna want to workout AFTER swim practices, morning workouts are probably my only option. Ugh. Maybe that's the time I should start P90X? ha. I can see it now - me waking up at 4:30 just to do P90X for an hour and then get ready for student teaching....ha. Um. Yeah.
-Don't kid yourself - that previous bullet is a pretty big deal to me. Anyone that knows me, knows I'm most likely going to either have a nervous breakdown or simply just get depressed. There's a reason I workout nearly every day....it keeps me sane!
-Can anyone else NOT believe August is this Sunday? Where is this year going?
Monday, July 26, 2010
Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So, you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?
All my life I’ve tried to make everybody happy
While I just hurt and hide
Waiting for someone to tell me it’s my turn to decide
~Sara Bareilles
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That is the latest and greatest song stuck in my head on a daily basis. I love it. So perfect. Well. It's great for those people who are trying to tell you how to run your life (in which case, I wish my mother would listen to it! ha)
Le Sigh.
The weekend has come and gone. The situation with the pool has cleared up. Thank the lord! Saturday was a BUSY day. My praxis was eh. Haha - I convinced the ladies at the testing center to let me go early (I was finished with 30 minutes to spare) because I had to get to PSC. They aren't supposed to let you go early but I worked my magic charm :-) Yup. I did. And I was released. I don't really know how I did. To be honest - I wasn't nervous. I just did it. And when it was over, I didn't think twice about it. So many other things were going through my head that day.
Rachel. Troy. B-Champs. The Pools. The surprise party. Fitting in time for everything. Needless to say, it was an exhausting week.....and thankfully I was off today to kind of regroup.
The weekend came and went....but today I went into PSC for a little and found a bit of a shock when I walked in and a bit of the repercussions from last week came barrelling back into my face. I think all is smoothed out now - but let's just say you do NOT want Frank to be mad at you. Ever. Hopefully it will be ok by tomorrow. Fingers crossed!
Went for a bike ride today with Ryan (one of my guards at PSC). He thought we were going to go for a leisurely bike ride. I was all about my normal routine. It's interesting. I didn't realize how good of shape I was in until I was back on my bike. I was trying to set a pace but then realized Ryan wasn't keeping up. Guess I'll go by myself from now on. We didn't do bad though. Just slow. 23 miles or so. I would've liked to have gotten in 40 today - but it was AMAZING to be back on my bike. I don't know why I haven't ridden in so long. So easy to remember how it felt. I love it. Either tomorrow or Wednesday morning I'll be riding. Since the humidity is slightly lower these days - it'll be easier to breathe.
Elsewhere - I'm currently at Cabrini. Ryan came in tonight. Remember, Ryan? Yeah. He came in for a few minutes to talk to Gary. Funny. I think he was nervous:-) He SHOULD BE! See what he's missing out on! It truly is his loss. He's still so cute though. Ah well. Whatever. :-) It was fun while it lasted......
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So recently I've been thinking about this whole dating thing. I might try to start back up in the Fall. We'll see. I don't really want to force anything. I'm definitely not a fan of the online stuff. It's just not my cup of tea. I guess I just need to get out more.....or move back to Florida? haha.
Who made you king of anything?
So, you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?
All my life I’ve tried to make everybody happy
While I just hurt and hide
Waiting for someone to tell me it’s my turn to decide
~Sara Bareilles
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That is the latest and greatest song stuck in my head on a daily basis. I love it. So perfect. Well. It's great for those people who are trying to tell you how to run your life (in which case, I wish my mother would listen to it! ha)
Le Sigh.
The weekend has come and gone. The situation with the pool has cleared up. Thank the lord! Saturday was a BUSY day. My praxis was eh. Haha - I convinced the ladies at the testing center to let me go early (I was finished with 30 minutes to spare) because I had to get to PSC. They aren't supposed to let you go early but I worked my magic charm :-) Yup. I did. And I was released. I don't really know how I did. To be honest - I wasn't nervous. I just did it. And when it was over, I didn't think twice about it. So many other things were going through my head that day.
Rachel. Troy. B-Champs. The Pools. The surprise party. Fitting in time for everything. Needless to say, it was an exhausting week.....and thankfully I was off today to kind of regroup.
The weekend came and went....but today I went into PSC for a little and found a bit of a shock when I walked in and a bit of the repercussions from last week came barrelling back into my face. I think all is smoothed out now - but let's just say you do NOT want Frank to be mad at you. Ever. Hopefully it will be ok by tomorrow. Fingers crossed!
Went for a bike ride today with Ryan (one of my guards at PSC). He thought we were going to go for a leisurely bike ride. I was all about my normal routine. It's interesting. I didn't realize how good of shape I was in until I was back on my bike. I was trying to set a pace but then realized Ryan wasn't keeping up. Guess I'll go by myself from now on. We didn't do bad though. Just slow. 23 miles or so. I would've liked to have gotten in 40 today - but it was AMAZING to be back on my bike. I don't know why I haven't ridden in so long. So easy to remember how it felt. I love it. Either tomorrow or Wednesday morning I'll be riding. Since the humidity is slightly lower these days - it'll be easier to breathe.
Elsewhere - I'm currently at Cabrini. Ryan came in tonight. Remember, Ryan? Yeah. He came in for a few minutes to talk to Gary. Funny. I think he was nervous:-) He SHOULD BE! See what he's missing out on! It truly is his loss. He's still so cute though. Ah well. Whatever. :-) It was fun while it lasted......
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So recently I've been thinking about this whole dating thing. I might try to start back up in the Fall. We'll see. I don't really want to force anything. I'm definitely not a fan of the online stuff. It's just not my cup of tea. I guess I just need to get out more.....or move back to Florida? haha.
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