Life is a funny thing. So fleeting. So - here one day, gone the next. So - odd.
We had to say goodbye to our beloved dog last night. My dad and Joanne had to sadly take her to the vet this morning. Losing a person is one of the hardest things you ever have to do.....especially when it's sudden. And even when it's not, and you know they're older and nearing the time for "the big sleep", it's still difficult to say goodbye. Now, think about how much harder it is to say goodbye to a pet. And not just any pet, but a pet that's SO loyal and loving in the most unconditional way. It's hearbreaking.
I'm not saying losing a person is in any way the same as losing a pet. In some ways it's harder and in others it easier (in both respects).
I had to say goodbye to two friends yesterday. The first, was Jessie. Our beloved doggie. The pup. My dog:-) I picked Jessie out. I came up with the idea for her name. She looked like a jessie, whatdya want? And so it was. And for 11 years, we had the BEST dog ever. She was the most spoiled being on the planet. Trust me. She was. She was ALWAYS there when I was sad; licking away the tears and pawing at me to remind me that even though I was sad, it wasn't about me...it was her turn and she needed to be touched:-) Oh that dog. Ha. She was a character. She'll always be the best.
I've lost two other dogs, that were vicariously mine - really they were Trish's (Deuce and Syndey) - but it was just as sad. I never got to say goodbye to them. In some ways I think it's harder to say goodbye than to miss out on it. Similar to Rachel. I never got to say goodbye...and although it was such a shocking experience with Rachel, I still think saying goodbye would've been MUCH harder.
The other person I had to say goodbye to yesterday was at the opposite end of the spectrum. Although I hardly saw him, Ephraim Rigefvsky was a great man. He was Allan's grandfather. I had met him a handful of times and every time he and his wife, Minerva (Allan's Grandmom), welcomed me into their home. Such caring and giving people. Allan texted me on Monday telling me the sad news. He flew in Tuesday and the Funeral/Service was Wednesday morning. I told him I wanted to be there for him. I knew he would need someone too. It's difficult to always be the one that has to be strong - Allan is that kind of person. I didn't get to see Allan much but with a few hugs, I think that was more helpful than any amount of time I could've spent with him. His grandfather was a great man and an honorable one too (he had an honorable memorial from the army - flag folding, taps playing and all.
There weren't a ton of people in the funeral service but I guess when you get older, all your friends are either there or waiting for you on the other side....
Death is a funny thing. It gets you thinking - am I doing things right? Am I living my life to the fullest? What if I'm gone tomorrow...when I look back on my life to this point, am I proud of the choices I've made? What would I change? Am I doing enough? What am I missing?
I've decided - in the next year and a half - until I turn 31 - so now through my 30th year of life - I will have a list. A list of things I want to do and/or accomplish. 30 in 30 (not the ESPN show).
30 things in my 30th year. I've started the list - I only have four things on it - but I'm working on it. I figure I have until next July to have the list completed - and until the following one to actually do everything. I actually got the idea from my friend Laurie who did 34 things for her 34th birthday. She did some pretty awesome things! Hopefully I can think of some good ones, otherwise I'm stealin' em from laurie :-)
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