Unfortunately, I feel a little lost right now. This post isn't going to be a "woe is me post" but rather a clear assessment of "what's good", "what's okay" and "what needs to come around".
I've mentioned in a few prior posts that I feel kind of stagnant....kind of....misplaced in a way. I have so many options and yet none at all. So...without further adieu:
"What's Good"
-September is almost over - this is especially good because this has not been the most spectacular month for me. With the beginning of the month starting the way it did...I'm ready for October.
-Coaching - always a good thing. I still love it just as much and even though the red group doesn't listen to me, the blues wish I was there every day - "so I got that goin' for me"
-School - is remarkably easy this semester (hope I'm not jinxing myself with that)
-The Phillies are in the Playoffs AGAIN!!! YEAH BABY! Hoping to get to a few games this post season.
"What's Okay"
-I'm taking the GRE's in about two weeks - so I can apply to Graduate school at UPenn and Temple. I've studied a bit for them - still need to do more.
-Social life - or lack there of. I can't totally complain about this because I don't have a job, so not doing anything is beneficial because I'm not spending money but there are some things that I'd really like to do in order to change this.
-Dating - I haven't been on any real dates since the Spring and once Summer started I decided to just put that all on hold because I wanted to just have a good time. I think I went on a date last Tuesday...to the Phillies game. It was fun. But. I don't know if I'm that into him. He's already asked me out again....twice. I'm not sure. Jackie says, go for it.....I mean, I'll definitely go out with him again.
"What needs to come around" aka "change"
-Living at home - if this seriously doesn't change, I don't know what I'm going to do. My sanity is not thriving at all. It's negative negative negative. Nothing but complaints. Which begs me to ask.....can't you find ANYTHING good to say? I'm not against venting but when you're in a situation that you KNOW you can change....DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! I'm so tired of people saying they're stuck. WE ALL HAVE CHOICES. You might not like the choices you have, but you have them.
-My financial/job situation - I've got the word out to MANY people about this. They all know I'm looking and need money. Right now.....I am spending money I don't really have. I hateses money. And I despise the fact that it runs the way I have to do things. I'm working to change this but I know it's tough out there for everyone - so I'm definitely realistic.
-Dealing with my anxiety/anger - lately I've had a lot of this. Working out seems like the logical release but since I do this every day - it doesn't really have the same effect on me as it would someone else. Suggestions?
I'd like to put this one in with the "change" category - but it doesn't involve everyone. I don't know WHAT is up with some of my guy friends lately but WTF. And I truly mean...WTF. I understand being busy. I even understand plans changing. But seriously - just be honest with me. I'm so tired of people thinking "oh katie will be ok with it...she'll forgive me." I'm just so tired of it. I'm pretty tired with, what seems like, always being the last to know. I'm so over with making the attempts to be the one that bridges the distance. OVER IT.
How do you stop caring? Because inevitably, I just do. I feel lost. I wish I knew which direction to go. I wish I knew the right course of action (which I suppose is the beauty and curse of life with choices).
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
If I Had Eyes in The Back of My Head....
Lot of people spend their time just floating
We were victims together but lonely
You got hungry eyes that just can't look forward
Can't give them enough but we just can't start over
Building with bent nails we're
falling but holding, I don't wanna take up anymore of your time
Time time time
Sometimes time doesn't heal
No not all
Just stand still
While we fall
In or out of love again I doubt I'm gonna win you back
When you got eyes like that
It won't let me in
Always looking out
Always lookin
~Jack Johnson
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I was looking back on a bunch of my old posts and stumbled upon the list of "100 Things About Me". It was interesting to read it now, two years later. So much has changed....particularly the one thing I wrote "I have never had someone close to me die" and "I've only been to one funeral". In the last year...we all know this as changed. But I don't want to make this a bummy post.
As you can imagine...the subject is a Jack Johnson song...but in reality the main concept of the song is essentially the saying, "hindsight is 20/20". We all have a tendency to "look back" on the past and often times dwell on it too much. I'm working on this. As I work on a lot of things in my life....regrets have never been a big aspect in my life. Somewhere there is another saying, "I do not regret the things I have done, but those I did not do." I'm hoping to do some of the things in my life I really WANT to do.
Some of the other things on all my "lists" that seemingly come back time and time again are: Backpacking Europe, Getting my PhD, having a family, getting married, etc....in no particular order. These are all things I know I can do. I'm going to work hard to do them!
In the last few weeks I've noticed how much my family complains. Complaining about what they don't have. Complaining about the circumstances their in. Complaining about pretty much everything. It is unnerving to hear people who are so "well off" (and I obviously mean this in a way in which they are not desolate or living in africa with no food), complain. Where is there perspective? Why am I the only one in my family that seems to get that it could always be a lot worse?
Perspective. It's possibly an idealistic concept yet completely based in reality. Without perspective, how are we to know where we stand? Rational people tend to be able to put things into perspective more readily (read: easily). Irrational people tend to jump to extremes in ALL situations. And I realize irrationality is brought about by stress. But then, which do you attempt to do first? Create a less stressful environment or put things into perspective in order to create a less stressful thought process? Or...are they simultaneous?
It's funny - you'd think that perspetive and patience would go hand in hand. I wish they would for me. I have trouble with my patience but have complete perspective on the events of my life. Why can't I just have a little bit of patience with the lack of perspective that some people have?
We were victims together but lonely
You got hungry eyes that just can't look forward
Can't give them enough but we just can't start over
Building with bent nails we're
falling but holding, I don't wanna take up anymore of your time
Time time time
Sometimes time doesn't heal
No not all
Just stand still
While we fall
In or out of love again I doubt I'm gonna win you back
When you got eyes like that
It won't let me in
Always looking out
Always lookin
~Jack Johnson
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was looking back on a bunch of my old posts and stumbled upon the list of "100 Things About Me". It was interesting to read it now, two years later. So much has changed....particularly the one thing I wrote "I have never had someone close to me die" and "I've only been to one funeral". In the last year...we all know this as changed. But I don't want to make this a bummy post.
As you can imagine...the subject is a Jack Johnson song...but in reality the main concept of the song is essentially the saying, "hindsight is 20/20". We all have a tendency to "look back" on the past and often times dwell on it too much. I'm working on this. As I work on a lot of things in my life....regrets have never been a big aspect in my life. Somewhere there is another saying, "I do not regret the things I have done, but those I did not do." I'm hoping to do some of the things in my life I really WANT to do.
Some of the other things on all my "lists" that seemingly come back time and time again are: Backpacking Europe, Getting my PhD, having a family, getting married, etc....in no particular order. These are all things I know I can do. I'm going to work hard to do them!
In the last few weeks I've noticed how much my family complains. Complaining about what they don't have. Complaining about the circumstances their in. Complaining about pretty much everything. It is unnerving to hear people who are so "well off" (and I obviously mean this in a way in which they are not desolate or living in africa with no food), complain. Where is there perspective? Why am I the only one in my family that seems to get that it could always be a lot worse?
Perspective. It's possibly an idealistic concept yet completely based in reality. Without perspective, how are we to know where we stand? Rational people tend to be able to put things into perspective more readily (read: easily). Irrational people tend to jump to extremes in ALL situations. And I realize irrationality is brought about by stress. But then, which do you attempt to do first? Create a less stressful environment or put things into perspective in order to create a less stressful thought process? Or...are they simultaneous?
It's funny - you'd think that perspetive and patience would go hand in hand. I wish they would for me. I have trouble with my patience but have complete perspective on the events of my life. Why can't I just have a little bit of patience with the lack of perspective that some people have?
Thursday, September 23, 2010
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities. ~ J.K. Rowling
The Things of Which I am Certain:
- I will always want to exercise, even on days I CHOOSE to take off.
- If there is a cloud in the sky, my mother will undoubtedly say, “It looks like it’s going to rain”
- The office will always be my favorite tv show (yes, even when it’s over).
- My theory – People who do not like The Office are not smart to get the humor.
- Music will always have the ability to affect my mood.
- I have a strong desire to leave it all behind and travel. Forget the consequences and just GO.
- Good Music should evoke some kind of emotion.
- Don’t make plans for your life, they will just go topsy-turvy the minute you attempt to put those plans in action.
- Life has a funny way of balancing things out.
- The friends you had when you were younger are the ones you need to hold on to for your future. They’re the ones that will ground you when you’ve gone too far above the clouds.
- The friends you make when you’re older will undoubtedly be the ones you will know the best because you’ll know yourself the best at this time.
- College is a time for fun and freedom – regardless of whether it feels like you’re held back. Just go. Do. Be. Live.
- Kindness is a fashion trend that never goes out of style.
- I will ALWAYS have to work on my patience.
- I will work continuously to NOT be like my mother.
- I will work continuously to be like my mother.
- I will work continuously to be my own person.
- You know that saying, “do your best” – some days, I know I don’t.
- I like sex.
- I love kissing. But hugs are the epitome of affection. The proper hug can make you rejoice and/or well up tears of sadness in milliseconds.
- It is never a bad idea to reflect on your life to try to figure out who you are and what you want.
- Two glasses of wine gets me drunk (even if I have eaten).
- Three beers gets me buzzed. If I haven’t eaten, it gets me drunk.
- If I am drinking mixed drinks and one of them has tequila and the others don’t, I will not remember the rest of the night.
- I will always look back on my time in Orlando with some of the best memories.
- Rachel and Troy’s Death will always affect the way I think about things and people. I miss them.
- I constantly worry that I am not on the right path.....but what is the right path anyway?
- Regardless of what I say, I DO look for validation (not always) of my appearance from men (awful I know).
- I will always want: The house. The family. The lifestyle many people dream of when they're little......
- My recovery from the ED is a blessing and a curse all at the same - helping others who struggle show's me that I was strong enough to overcome and how far I've come.
- I will always know the caloric amount in almost all of the food I eat.
- I have a type (read: kind of guy I am attracted to).
- I will always believe that human beings are innately good - despite the harm and evil that corrupt our world.
- I will always want to exercise, even on days I CHOOSE to take off.
- If there is a cloud in the sky, my mother will undoubtedly say, “It looks like it’s going to rain”
- The office will always be my favorite tv show (yes, even when it’s over).
- My theory – People who do not like The Office are not smart to get the humor.
- Music will always have the ability to affect my mood.
- I have a strong desire to leave it all behind and travel. Forget the consequences and just GO.
- Good Music should evoke some kind of emotion.
- Don’t make plans for your life, they will just go topsy-turvy the minute you attempt to put those plans in action.
- Life has a funny way of balancing things out.
- The friends you had when you were younger are the ones you need to hold on to for your future. They’re the ones that will ground you when you’ve gone too far above the clouds.
- The friends you make when you’re older will undoubtedly be the ones you will know the best because you’ll know yourself the best at this time.
- College is a time for fun and freedom – regardless of whether it feels like you’re held back. Just go. Do. Be. Live.
- Kindness is a fashion trend that never goes out of style.
- I will ALWAYS have to work on my patience.
- I will work continuously to NOT be like my mother.
- I will work continuously to be like my mother.
- I will work continuously to be my own person.
- You know that saying, “do your best” – some days, I know I don’t.
- I like sex.
- I love kissing. But hugs are the epitome of affection. The proper hug can make you rejoice and/or well up tears of sadness in milliseconds.
- It is never a bad idea to reflect on your life to try to figure out who you are and what you want.
- Two glasses of wine gets me drunk (even if I have eaten).
- Three beers gets me buzzed. If I haven’t eaten, it gets me drunk.
- If I am drinking mixed drinks and one of them has tequila and the others don’t, I will not remember the rest of the night.
- I will always look back on my time in Orlando with some of the best memories.
- Rachel and Troy’s Death will always affect the way I think about things and people. I miss them.
- I constantly worry that I am not on the right path.....but what is the right path anyway?
- Regardless of what I say, I DO look for validation (not always) of my appearance from men (awful I know).
- I will always want: The house. The family. The lifestyle many people dream of when they're little......
- My recovery from the ED is a blessing and a curse all at the same - helping others who struggle show's me that I was strong enough to overcome and how far I've come.
- I will always know the caloric amount in almost all of the food I eat.
- I have a type (read: kind of guy I am attracted to).
- I will always believe that human beings are innately good - despite the harm and evil that corrupt our world.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Philadelphia Rock n' Roll Half Marathon!
A few signs I saw on my run yesterday that I absolutely loved!.....
"I'm proud of you complete stranger!"
"What if the Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about?"
"There's beer at the end....I promise" (and there was! haha)
"13.1 miles = 5.5 donuts"
Haha....love it.....
Anyway...on to the pictures and update.
Honestly, it was seriously the BEST run I've had ever. Great Weather. Great Company. Awesome Atmosphere. Just everything was great from the start of the day. I even got a good night sleep. Earlier in the week I was worried I would have trouble breathing because of being sick but I woke up refreshed from a solid 7.5 hours. I had my coffee and english muffin with peanut butter. Bruce dropped Bethany and I off at the race around 7 and we had an hour to get things sussed out.
I dropped off a bag at the bag check (of things I didn't even use later). We then proceeded to stretch and use the portapotty's....twice! Haha. Here's a few pics.
So the race went off without a hitch! I averaged about an 8:30 pace. I couldn't believe it myself! My Garmin said we actually ran about 13.45 miles - more than the 13.1. My final time was around 1:54.29. I smashed my last time of 2 hours flat by nearly 5 and 1/2 minutes! yessssss. I was pretty pleased. Bethany came in seriously 30 seconds behind me. It was perfect! We decided we'd run other ones together since we're so close in pace time. I'm so happy and it was a great day. Here's a few from after the race :-)
So overall great race!
This week is another slightly busy week. Today I'm gonna go for an EASY 5 or 6 miler. I have class tonight. I'll probably do some GRE studying. I signed up for them for October 15th. I'd really like to get a good score on them.
Tomorrow I am going to the Phillies Game! Yeah!
The rest of the week is the usual. More to update later.
"I'm proud of you complete stranger!"
"What if the Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about?"
"There's beer at the end....I promise" (and there was! haha)
"13.1 miles = 5.5 donuts"
Haha....love it.....
Anyway...on to the pictures and update.
Honestly, it was seriously the BEST run I've had ever. Great Weather. Great Company. Awesome Atmosphere. Just everything was great from the start of the day. I even got a good night sleep. Earlier in the week I was worried I would have trouble breathing because of being sick but I woke up refreshed from a solid 7.5 hours. I had my coffee and english muffin with peanut butter. Bruce dropped Bethany and I off at the race around 7 and we had an hour to get things sussed out.
I dropped off a bag at the bag check (of things I didn't even use later). We then proceeded to stretch and use the portapotty's....twice! Haha. Here's a few pics.
So the race went off without a hitch! I averaged about an 8:30 pace. I couldn't believe it myself! My Garmin said we actually ran about 13.45 miles - more than the 13.1. My final time was around 1:54.29. I smashed my last time of 2 hours flat by nearly 5 and 1/2 minutes! yessssss. I was pretty pleased. Bethany came in seriously 30 seconds behind me. It was perfect! We decided we'd run other ones together since we're so close in pace time. I'm so happy and it was a great day. Here's a few from after the race :-)
So overall great race!
This week is another slightly busy week. Today I'm gonna go for an EASY 5 or 6 miler. I have class tonight. I'll probably do some GRE studying. I signed up for them for October 15th. I'd really like to get a good score on them.
Tomorrow I am going to the Phillies Game! Yeah!
The rest of the week is the usual. More to update later.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
A quickie....
Haha :-)
I'm stuck at Cabrini this morning (saturday) but I'm going to slip out in about 15 minutes so I can go pick up Bethany and head down to the Rock n' Roll Expo. I'm excited for the race tomorrow. It's her first and although it's technically "old hat" for me, I haven't done a long race like this since last year so I'm looking forward to it:-)
In the mean time...the rest of the week went really quickly. I'm (crosses fingers) over this cold...just a bit of coughing here and there...I'll most likely take medicine tomorrow morning when I wake up before the race just for good measure. Stayed at my aunt and uncles on Monday and Tuesday night's to hang out with Zack for a bit while they were dropping off Tori and Allison at Northwestern. Wednesday was back to the norm...gym...Cabrini...all that jazz. Thursday much of the same. I did have a meeting with the woman who runs the Student Teaching stuff at Cabrini. She gave me a letter of intent for any employers that want to hire me and help me get an emergency cert. But I think I've decided.....I'm undoubtedly applying to the PhD programs at UPenn and Temple. If I get accepted to either of them, I'd start next fall. Both programs provide tuition remission and a stipend (no, I don't know how much) plus medical coverage. I figured that if I don't go for it now, I might never go back for the PhD...and I definitely want it. Teaching is still there...and will always be the first option...these are just additional options for me to think about. If I DO get into either of these programs...I can finish the M.Ed. at Cabrini next semester and kind of waylay the certification stuff and/or take all that over the summer. This way, I'd have two Masters going into the program for next fall. Of course, this is all tentative on getting accepted.
A few things that have to happen - while I have the connections for both Temple and UPenn - I need to take the GRE's again. It's a test. I'm already studying for it. I've scheduled a test day for October 15th at 8am. This gives me three weeks to get things in order. I'd also like to find a job to pay some of my bills and eventually find my own place to move into. I just need my own space again.
Other stuff - (I'm all discombobulated today) - I've applied for a head coaching job at LMHS. Please think good thoughts for me. I SO want to coach my own team. Plus, I have a few in's there. The current AD is Don Walsh - aka former PWHS boys head coach my senior year of high school and summer coach prior to heading to college. I also have a recommendation from the boys head coach at LMHS because I coach with him at Baldwin. Here's hoping no one else applys for the job :-) haha yeah right.
What else.....did I mention I'm going to SPAIN!? :-D October is looking to be a pretty slammin' month. Hopefully that'll just make the rest of the year rock out.
Can anyone else not believe that September is halfway over?! So much work for this Education class I have right now....Zomg thank goodness most of the work is due before Thanksgiving...which creates for a crazy October and November but ah well. Such is life.....Lemons....right?
I'm stuck at Cabrini this morning (saturday) but I'm going to slip out in about 15 minutes so I can go pick up Bethany and head down to the Rock n' Roll Expo. I'm excited for the race tomorrow. It's her first and although it's technically "old hat" for me, I haven't done a long race like this since last year so I'm looking forward to it:-)
In the mean time...the rest of the week went really quickly. I'm (crosses fingers) over this cold...just a bit of coughing here and there...I'll most likely take medicine tomorrow morning when I wake up before the race just for good measure. Stayed at my aunt and uncles on Monday and Tuesday night's to hang out with Zack for a bit while they were dropping off Tori and Allison at Northwestern. Wednesday was back to the norm...gym...Cabrini...all that jazz. Thursday much of the same. I did have a meeting with the woman who runs the Student Teaching stuff at Cabrini. She gave me a letter of intent for any employers that want to hire me and help me get an emergency cert. But I think I've decided.....I'm undoubtedly applying to the PhD programs at UPenn and Temple. If I get accepted to either of them, I'd start next fall. Both programs provide tuition remission and a stipend (no, I don't know how much) plus medical coverage. I figured that if I don't go for it now, I might never go back for the PhD...and I definitely want it. Teaching is still there...and will always be the first option...these are just additional options for me to think about. If I DO get into either of these programs...I can finish the M.Ed. at Cabrini next semester and kind of waylay the certification stuff and/or take all that over the summer. This way, I'd have two Masters going into the program for next fall. Of course, this is all tentative on getting accepted.
A few things that have to happen - while I have the connections for both Temple and UPenn - I need to take the GRE's again. It's a test. I'm already studying for it. I've scheduled a test day for October 15th at 8am. This gives me three weeks to get things in order. I'd also like to find a job to pay some of my bills and eventually find my own place to move into. I just need my own space again.
Other stuff - (I'm all discombobulated today) - I've applied for a head coaching job at LMHS. Please think good thoughts for me. I SO want to coach my own team. Plus, I have a few in's there. The current AD is Don Walsh - aka former PWHS boys head coach my senior year of high school and summer coach prior to heading to college. I also have a recommendation from the boys head coach at LMHS because I coach with him at Baldwin. Here's hoping no one else applys for the job :-) haha yeah right.
What else.....did I mention I'm going to SPAIN!? :-D October is looking to be a pretty slammin' month. Hopefully that'll just make the rest of the year rock out.
Can anyone else not believe that September is halfway over?! So much work for this Education class I have right now....Zomg thank goodness most of the work is due before Thanksgiving...which creates for a crazy October and November but ah well. Such is life.....Lemons....right?
Thursday, September 16, 2010
I'm looking to the sky to save me
Looking for a sign of life
Looking for something to help me burn out bright ~ Foo Fighters
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I say this every time it's been awhile but....It's been awhile!
A few things I've done since my last post:
Swim Club Closed at PSC - Summer is officially over and it felt weird to say the least. I miss my guards. I had a BLAST this summer. A few things have ended but some are still going strong. Here's hoping that it'll last!
I went to Florida and am now back. My trip was just kind of blasé. Nothing super huge to report on. It really just felt like I was living back there and had a few days off. It was GREAT to see Trish since she had been sick and I did get to see Joey and Nick. I started feeling a bit under the weather later in the week so I didn't venture out that much. I felt badly that I didn't get to see everyone but I was so tired - I even went to bed a few nights at 9PM. I know! Crazy.
While I was in Florida, I booked my trip to Spain to visit Paul :-) I am looking forward to that. I go from October 26th (arrive the morning of the 27th) and come back November 1st. It's a short trip but it'll be worth it :-) I'm excited for it!
The morning I got back from Florida - I had a bunch of stuff to go do. I had class that night too and then right after I headed to my cousins house to stay the night. My aunt and uncle took my cousins (Allison and Tori) to school at Northwestern so they asked if I could stay with Zack for a night or two. He's old enough to take care of himself but they just felt better having someone there overnight. No biggie.
Tuesday was the first night (for me) of coaching at Baldwin this year! It was...a struggle with the Red group (ages 8,9,10,11). It seems that they ALL forgot how to swim. Ha. Hopefully that is just a first day thing. I had the Blue group later (12-18) and it was great. I remembered why I missed them so much! Of course, the shouting didn't help my voice at all.
Oh yeah, I came back from FLA with a bit of a coldy cold. Not a huge one - but enough to make me take medicine. Which is not really all that great since I'm running the Philly Rock n' Roll Half Marathon on Sunday! I think I'll be okay by then. I'm not planning on doing anything on Friday or Saturday (workout wise) so that should help. Today I might just do Yoga.
This morning - I have a meeting with the lady who runs the Student Teaching stuff at Cabrini. It's a new person other than Dr. Arp (she got demoted, yikes). So hopefully this will go well - otherwise - I've got a huge elaborate plan for what comes next in the life of Katie....constant change, right? :-) Just gotta roll with the punches as they say.
I have to work at Cabrini later today and tomorrow I've got coaching again in the afternoon. I am supposed to go to Josh's for dinner - I feel badly I'll be late - but he assures me that I should come after work...so I will. We STILL haven't celebrated our Birthday yet. HAHA. Just like us...:-) I'm looking forward to seeing him though.
Saturday I have to work at Cabrini til Noon and then Bethany and I are hitting up the Expo for the race. She isn't that familiar with Philly so I offered to drive and whatnot. And since the expo is at the convention center, I told her we'd go into Reading Terminal Market afterwards to grab some lunch! Should be a good day. Look for pics :-)
Adieu, hasta luego :-)
Looking for something to help me burn out bright ~ Foo Fighters
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I say this every time it's been awhile but....It's been awhile!
A few things I've done since my last post:
Swim Club Closed at PSC - Summer is officially over and it felt weird to say the least. I miss my guards. I had a BLAST this summer. A few things have ended but some are still going strong. Here's hoping that it'll last!
I went to Florida and am now back. My trip was just kind of blasé. Nothing super huge to report on. It really just felt like I was living back there and had a few days off. It was GREAT to see Trish since she had been sick and I did get to see Joey and Nick. I started feeling a bit under the weather later in the week so I didn't venture out that much. I felt badly that I didn't get to see everyone but I was so tired - I even went to bed a few nights at 9PM. I know! Crazy.
While I was in Florida, I booked my trip to Spain to visit Paul :-) I am looking forward to that. I go from October 26th (arrive the morning of the 27th) and come back November 1st. It's a short trip but it'll be worth it :-) I'm excited for it!
The morning I got back from Florida - I had a bunch of stuff to go do. I had class that night too and then right after I headed to my cousins house to stay the night. My aunt and uncle took my cousins (Allison and Tori) to school at Northwestern so they asked if I could stay with Zack for a night or two. He's old enough to take care of himself but they just felt better having someone there overnight. No biggie.
Tuesday was the first night (for me) of coaching at Baldwin this year! It was...a struggle with the Red group (ages 8,9,10,11). It seems that they ALL forgot how to swim. Ha. Hopefully that is just a first day thing. I had the Blue group later (12-18) and it was great. I remembered why I missed them so much! Of course, the shouting didn't help my voice at all.
Oh yeah, I came back from FLA with a bit of a coldy cold. Not a huge one - but enough to make me take medicine. Which is not really all that great since I'm running the Philly Rock n' Roll Half Marathon on Sunday! I think I'll be okay by then. I'm not planning on doing anything on Friday or Saturday (workout wise) so that should help. Today I might just do Yoga.
This morning - I have a meeting with the lady who runs the Student Teaching stuff at Cabrini. It's a new person other than Dr. Arp (she got demoted, yikes). So hopefully this will go well - otherwise - I've got a huge elaborate plan for what comes next in the life of Katie....constant change, right? :-) Just gotta roll with the punches as they say.
I have to work at Cabrini later today and tomorrow I've got coaching again in the afternoon. I am supposed to go to Josh's for dinner - I feel badly I'll be late - but he assures me that I should come after work...so I will. We STILL haven't celebrated our Birthday yet. HAHA. Just like us...:-) I'm looking forward to seeing him though.
Saturday I have to work at Cabrini til Noon and then Bethany and I are hitting up the Expo for the race. She isn't that familiar with Philly so I offered to drive and whatnot. And since the expo is at the convention center, I told her we'd go into Reading Terminal Market afterwards to grab some lunch! Should be a good day. Look for pics :-)
Adieu, hasta luego :-)
Thursday, September 2, 2010
"Life is hard......
it's harder when you're stupid." ~ John Wayne
[[Sidenote: I started writing this post last Thursday...it is now Tuesday Morning and I am finishing the update. Yup. I've been THAT busy]]
I think that quote is so appropriate for me these days. I have just been plain stupid. Not with EVERYTHING...but....enough for it to set me back a few months.
I found out yesterday that I will not be student teaching this spring.
I also found out that I have to take at least FOUR more content area classes before I can attempt said student teaching.
So you can imagine the kinds of things going through my mind last night:
Where will I get the money for this?
How could I have been so stupid to not ask for help when I needed it?
Why must I insist on doing everything myself?
I'm going to have to find a job!
I'll NEVER get to teach! (this was said several times)
WHY ANOTHER SET BACK
I should've stayed in Orlando - so many job opportunities....
Why do I keep making the wrong decisions?
Why did I do this?
Ok, ok, you get the idea. Basically, I was beating myself up. Luckily, Joyce was with me last night (one of the ladies who works in the Grad Office) and she not only calmed me down but helped me to put things into perspective.
It is possible that this is a good thing. I was/am so gung-ho about teaching, I wasn't even really taking the time to enjoy the ride. I just have such a hard time accepting this.
I'm nearly 30 years old. Shouldn't I "have all my ducks in a row" so to speak? I feel so very far behind in my life. No wonder I've resorted to so many adolescent activities this summer. I'm doing my damnest to not grow up....and while some might say you should never grow up....growing up has its advantages.
The things I feel as though I should have by now:
A real job
My own home
I should be paying for ALL of my bills
As much as I'd like to add to this list "having a boyfriend and/or potential spouse", I simply can't. There's really no reason I HAVE to have one. I just want one :-)
Tuesday Morning Post:
So since all the fiasco above, I've calmed down a bit. I've rethought what I might do for the next year and I think I'm pretty happy with it.
I'm heading out to Orlando this afternoon - I can't wait to do nothing for five whole days. I might try to see if some of my friends want to venture to Universal with me...but we'll see how that goes. I really want to see the new Harry Potter. Maybe some of them will play hooky with me.
I'm going to do some major talking with Trish and have a wonderful time with friends for the next five days. Much deserved if you ask me.
I'll be updating more throughout the week...and I need to write a post on the final days at PSC for this summer....so look for that too.
Toodles!
[[Sidenote: I started writing this post last Thursday...it is now Tuesday Morning and I am finishing the update. Yup. I've been THAT busy]]
I think that quote is so appropriate for me these days. I have just been plain stupid. Not with EVERYTHING...but....enough for it to set me back a few months.
I found out yesterday that I will not be student teaching this spring.
I also found out that I have to take at least FOUR more content area classes before I can attempt said student teaching.
So you can imagine the kinds of things going through my mind last night:
Where will I get the money for this?
How could I have been so stupid to not ask for help when I needed it?
Why must I insist on doing everything myself?
I'm going to have to find a job!
I'll NEVER get to teach! (this was said several times)
WHY ANOTHER SET BACK
I should've stayed in Orlando - so many job opportunities....
Why do I keep making the wrong decisions?
Why did I do this?
Ok, ok, you get the idea. Basically, I was beating myself up. Luckily, Joyce was with me last night (one of the ladies who works in the Grad Office) and she not only calmed me down but helped me to put things into perspective.
It is possible that this is a good thing. I was/am so gung-ho about teaching, I wasn't even really taking the time to enjoy the ride. I just have such a hard time accepting this.
I'm nearly 30 years old. Shouldn't I "have all my ducks in a row" so to speak? I feel so very far behind in my life. No wonder I've resorted to so many adolescent activities this summer. I'm doing my damnest to not grow up....and while some might say you should never grow up....growing up has its advantages.
The things I feel as though I should have by now:
A real job
My own home
I should be paying for ALL of my bills
As much as I'd like to add to this list "having a boyfriend and/or potential spouse", I simply can't. There's really no reason I HAVE to have one. I just want one :-)
Tuesday Morning Post:
So since all the fiasco above, I've calmed down a bit. I've rethought what I might do for the next year and I think I'm pretty happy with it.
I'm heading out to Orlando this afternoon - I can't wait to do nothing for five whole days. I might try to see if some of my friends want to venture to Universal with me...but we'll see how that goes. I really want to see the new Harry Potter. Maybe some of them will play hooky with me.
I'm going to do some major talking with Trish and have a wonderful time with friends for the next five days. Much deserved if you ask me.
I'll be updating more throughout the week...and I need to write a post on the final days at PSC for this summer....so look for that too.
Toodles!
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