In less than a month I'll be 30 years old. Yikesabee! haha - I'm not really that freaked out. Seriously. It's just a number. Despite having been sick last week (which made me feel old), I still feel like I'm 18 energy wise. I figure you're only as old as you feel.
In the mean time, things to think about:
Swim Team started at Mermaid. So far so good...although I have some minor financial issues to deal with...but I think it'll be okay.
I mentioned I was sick last week - Strep Throat. First time I've ever had it so I wasn't sure what it was. Thankgoodness it cleared up (thanks to antibiotics) otherwise the doctor said it would've been Mono. Yikes!
The Golf Outing was a success! I'll know definitely how much we raised tonight. I have a financial meeting to go over the funds.
Socially - I'm looking forward to my birthday celebration on the 10th! So far all of the tickets are spoken for - I think I might even need to buy some extra's.
Physically - since I'm feeling better - I'm taking my exercising up a notch. I ran about 6.5 miles this morning. Slow - 9 min mile pace - but good. I've lost some of my speed since Broad Street. I think the Oddyssey was the beginning of my getting sick....but I guess it's good to take a break. I'll be switching up my regiment starting next week because on Tuesdays and Thursdays the only time I'll have to workout is in the morning or evening after practice....so I'm thinking about going back to my bootcamp group on Tuesday and Thursday but we'll see. That'll require me to get up really early and go to be early (not that it matters because I can't seem to stay up past 10:30 anymore).
I have the option to make some more money this summer at Mermaid - both by teaching lessons and helping manage the pool. It's in addition to coaching which, as it turns out, I probably won't make anything doing that this summer. It'll make me think twice about it next summer. But, if I decide to take on the extra work at Mermaid it probably means I'll have to work a few weekends....which I was looking forward to having to myself again this summer....decisions decisions. I have been looking around for part time work that I could do anywhere (i.e. online/data entry).
It's frustrating having no money. Also - I'll definitely have none when it comes time to student teach because I've decided to pay for it all on my own - which also means I'll have to wait one more year until I can move out....of course that's all pending I get a job right after student teaching. Otherwise....ugh I don't even want to think about it.
But - I suppose the good thing is I have my health back....I'm surrounded by good people. I have some great things ahead of me this summer....lots to look forward to. If nothing, living at home for this amount of time has certainly humbled me......
Monday, June 13, 2011
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Cleverness divides, intelligence includes.
I like this quote - the one up there, in my subject line. See it? Yup. Think about it. It's from the Eckhart Tolle book I told y'all I was reading. Here's the whole paragraph - just a smidgen of the book - trust me - it's helping me!
"Whenever you are in a negative state, there is something in you that wants the negativity, that perceives it as pleasureable, or that believes it will get you what you want. Otherwise, who would want to hang on to negativity, make themselves and others miserable, and create disease in the body? So, whenever there is negativity in you, if you can be aware at that moment that there is something in you that takes pleasure in it or believes it has a useful purpose, you are becoming aware of the ego directly. The moment this happens, your identity has shifted from ego to awareness. This means the ego is shrinking and awareness is growing.
If in the midst of negativity you are able to realize 'At this moment I am creating suffering for myself' it will be enough to raise you above the limitations of conditioned egoic states and reactions. It will open up infinite possibilities which come to you when there is awareness-other vastly more intelligent ways of dealing with any situation. You will be free to let go of your unhappiness the moment you recognize it as unintelligent. Negativity is not intelligent. It is always of the ego. The ego may be clever, but it is not intelligent. Cleverness pursues its own little aims. Intelligence sees the larger whole in which all things are connected. Cleverness is motivated by self-interest, and it is extremely short-sighted. Most politicians and businesspeople are clever. Very few are intelligent. Whatever is attained through cleverness is short-lived and always turns out to be eventually self-defeating. Cleverness divides; intelligence includes."
Think about that - let it digest. So true, right? Who WANTS to be unhappy? Who WANTS to be negative? No one...and if you do, are you a masochist? Think about the people in your life who are always negative or saying, "Oh this will never work out for me...." and then they attach a because with a silly reason.
I'll admit it. I have these moments and for a long time used to be this negative. I've been working on it for the last 10 years. I think I've gotten better at it but after re-reading this portion of the book I'm like, man...this makes so much sense. Why do I want to be negative? Am I really finding pleasure out of it? No. I'm not. I wasn't. I won't. Onward and upward :-)
"Whenever you are in a negative state, there is something in you that wants the negativity, that perceives it as pleasureable, or that believes it will get you what you want. Otherwise, who would want to hang on to negativity, make themselves and others miserable, and create disease in the body? So, whenever there is negativity in you, if you can be aware at that moment that there is something in you that takes pleasure in it or believes it has a useful purpose, you are becoming aware of the ego directly. The moment this happens, your identity has shifted from ego to awareness. This means the ego is shrinking and awareness is growing.
If in the midst of negativity you are able to realize 'At this moment I am creating suffering for myself' it will be enough to raise you above the limitations of conditioned egoic states and reactions. It will open up infinite possibilities which come to you when there is awareness-other vastly more intelligent ways of dealing with any situation. You will be free to let go of your unhappiness the moment you recognize it as unintelligent. Negativity is not intelligent. It is always of the ego. The ego may be clever, but it is not intelligent. Cleverness pursues its own little aims. Intelligence sees the larger whole in which all things are connected. Cleverness is motivated by self-interest, and it is extremely short-sighted. Most politicians and businesspeople are clever. Very few are intelligent. Whatever is attained through cleverness is short-lived and always turns out to be eventually self-defeating. Cleverness divides; intelligence includes."
Think about that - let it digest. So true, right? Who WANTS to be unhappy? Who WANTS to be negative? No one...and if you do, are you a masochist? Think about the people in your life who are always negative or saying, "Oh this will never work out for me...." and then they attach a because with a silly reason.
I'll admit it. I have these moments and for a long time used to be this negative. I've been working on it for the last 10 years. I think I've gotten better at it but after re-reading this portion of the book I'm like, man...this makes so much sense. Why do I want to be negative? Am I really finding pleasure out of it? No. I'm not. I wasn't. I won't. Onward and upward :-)
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Wait til you hear about this one....
I've posted in the past about some of the dreams I've had - and that I've looked up the interpretation(s) of those dreams.....I had one last night.....wait til you read what I envisioned in it. It's not a long one...atleast, I only remember a little...but it's enough for me to get some kind of interpretation out of it from a dream dictionary. Here goes:
Wherever I was, I found myself swimming in a meet when suddenly I was just standing in water that seemed to be rising. The water was ice water - I didn't feel the cold but knew it was because I could see the chunks of ice that lie on the surface of lakes when it starts to freeze over. As it was rising around me and I found myself in the middle of nowhere, 6 bullets where shot into me....yeah I know...I have no idea. But SIX?! I don't know where that number came from. I remember looking down and seeing a small amount of blood coming out - thinking there should be more but then (stupidly) thinking that the cold water was preventing me from bleeding out too much. I also remember something overhead appearing and me having the strength to pull myself out of the water (almost like a hanging crunch) and the next thing I knew I was standing around with my entire torso wrapped (like I had just had surgery to remove all the bullets) only to see that there were no scars and I was in no pain. I only realize this because in the dream I went on to the next thing - I think it was to play soccer - and someone made a comment, "weren't you just in surgery"....
I can't remember anything else that goes along with it but isn't that weird? So I did a little dream interpretation research....And as usual you can only look up one word at a time so I did a few searches for "bullet(s)", "water", "ice", and "six". Here's what I found:
Wherever I was, I found myself swimming in a meet when suddenly I was just standing in water that seemed to be rising. The water was ice water - I didn't feel the cold but knew it was because I could see the chunks of ice that lie on the surface of lakes when it starts to freeze over. As it was rising around me and I found myself in the middle of nowhere, 6 bullets where shot into me....yeah I know...I have no idea. But SIX?! I don't know where that number came from. I remember looking down and seeing a small amount of blood coming out - thinking there should be more but then (stupidly) thinking that the cold water was preventing me from bleeding out too much. I also remember something overhead appearing and me having the strength to pull myself out of the water (almost like a hanging crunch) and the next thing I knew I was standing around with my entire torso wrapped (like I had just had surgery to remove all the bullets) only to see that there were no scars and I was in no pain. I only realize this because in the dream I went on to the next thing - I think it was to play soccer - and someone made a comment, "weren't you just in surgery"....
I can't remember anything else that goes along with it but isn't that weird? So I did a little dream interpretation research....And as usual you can only look up one word at a time so I did a few searches for "bullet(s)", "water", "ice", and "six". Here's what I found:
Bullets
To see a bullet or bullets in your dream, indicate anger and aggression directed at you or someone else. You need to be cautious on what you say and do. Your actions and words may easily be misinterpreted. Alternatively, the dream may be telling you that you need to "bite the bullet" and accept some difficult situation.
To dream of being hit by a bullet, suggests that you need to persevere and endure the difficult times.
Water
To see water in your dream, symbolizes your unconscious and your emotional state of mind. Water is the living essence of the psyche and the flow of life energy. It is also symbolic of spirituality, knowledge, healing and refreshment.
To dream that water is rising up in your house, suggests that you are becoming overwhelmed by your emotions.
ICE
To see ice in your dream, suggests that you are lacking a flow of ideas and thoughts. You are not seeing any progress in your life. Alternatively, you may be feeling emotionally paralyzed or rigid. You need to let your feelings be known.
Six
Six is indicative of cooperation, balance, tranquility, perfection, warmth, union, marriage, family, and love. Your mental, emotional, and spiritual states are in harmony. It is also indicative of domestic bliss.
It's all very contradictory if you ask me - some of the things say I'm essentially blocked and others say I'm at peace...so which is it?
Personally I think the dream means that even though I was hit by bullets I was and am still able to go on - I had the strength to remove myself from a bad situation and persevere and the ice and water that surrounded me with my overwhelming emotions - I was able to find the strength to pull myself out of it and recover well. I think in my case the bullets are more of a "bit the bullet" kind of thing because although I am a little frustrated with some people at the moment (guys in particular) I just kind of need to accept that life isn't always going to be like this and to keep going forward.
Of course - there are other dream dictionaries that told me if you dream of being hit by a bullet you should go see a doctor immediately because it means I have some kind of illness. HA! I highly doubt that......
Anyway - so yeah - good times
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