At this point - I pretty much decided to postpone the dating situation. I thought things were going to get started with Ryan - but alas - he got too busy - despite his several attempts to apologize and say he'd call me. I just kind of put it out to him and said - look I know you're busy - but we don't have to do anything extravagant. He's too busy. Plain and simple. Maybe it'll work out - but I'm not holding my breadth.
So I sort of wallowed for a week or two. None of these guys were working out - the one I liked was too busy. Bleh. I was like I want to give up! And I did for a bit. Then I decided to join Eharmony because what've I got to lose, plus it was a pretty cheap deal to join for three months. So whatevs. I'm signed up through the day before my birthday in July. Let's see if I can't spend this Birthday alone this year. Fast forward about a month...
Adventures in Dating - Part 6: Aaron
So as I mentioned, I joined eharmony. I was kind of striking out with guys. I didn't see any cute ones and the ones that were contacting me weren't cute. Bummer. Then Aaron sent me a message and we kind of hit it off. He's pretty cute. He's much better looking in person than in his pictures. He's older and we have a lot in common. So after a few chats on gmail and some text exchanges we agree to meet up the Sunday night after the Broad Street Run. I thought I'd be fine later that night - but I was literally wrecked. It was SO damn hot and my hips/knees were killing me...so I asked to postpone which he was totally understanding and we met up later that week on Thursday.
Date #1
He asked to meet at Couch Tomato which is like - one of my favorite places in the 'yunk to eat with my bestest Jacks. We order from there pretty often when I hang out at her house (actually I think every time haha). So we meet up around 7 and I have to be honest, I was a little nervous. It had been nearly a month since all those other guys so I was like - I hope we have a lot to talk about. But as soon as he got there - it was fine. Easy to talk to - great conversation - lots of laughs - lots in common. Food was good - weather was nice - everything going well. We talked for a few hours and just after 9 decided we should call it a night.
He walked with me toward my car and then I totally forgot where I parked - so he walked with me to my car - and since it ended up being pretty far from his car - I offered him a ride to his. He accepted - I got him to his car and he leaned in for a kiss. The kiss was....it was alright. It was in an awkward position. We were sitting in my car and it was an awkward lean. Nice enough though. I told him to give me a call. Hopefully we could hang out again soon.
Since then we've chatted a few times. We actually made plans for last night (Wednesday) but since the Flyers are deciding not to rollover and die in the hockey playoffs, he had tickets to the game and we pushed the date back to tonight. So I'm meeting him after I coach practice tonight. I think it'll be a good time. He actually asked me what I was up to this weekend already - apparently he's going downtown with a group of friends for a birthday - I didn't give him an answer yet but I'm a little hesitant. Meeting friends - to me - is a pretty big deal. And then I got to thinking....
In my past experience, have the guys I've gone out with introduced me to their friends first or have I introduced them to mine first? And I think it was the former in my case. Introducing a guy to my friends is kind of like introducing them to my family because I consider my friends to be family. Maybe that's why....hrm...interesting...
But anyway - obviously this Adventure in Dating is TBContinued....
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Adventures in Dating - Part 5
Before I get to part 5 - there were a few guys I started chatting with that I never actually ended up meeting up with. As I mentioned - I went away to Florida for a long weekend with friends and relaxation. I had been talking to a few other guys:
Ed: Very nice guy. A little younger than me. Loves the Phils just like me, but he wasn't exactly the kind of person I thought I would want to go out with - and I do feel bad I kind of left him hanging. He even contacted me a few times after I got back but I never responded. Oh well. He deserves a nice girl.
Jared: Another nice guy - but totally not my type. Older than me - but seemed a little inexperienced for me. Not that there's anything wrong with that but to be honest - I don't want to be teaching guys how to act around me or what they should be doing. We had quite a bit in common but again - I kind of lost touch with him after I left for Florida.
Adventures in Dating - Part 5: Justin
So Justin was another guy I met on the free site. I know - seems like a great place...but really they were kind of all sorts of duds. Justin fit right in there.
Date #1
I met Justin on a Wednesday night after work at school. We met at the Houlihan's near my house. He was late - because he was shopping at REI. Yeah. I was the one coming from work but he was the one that was late. Obviously, based on previous posts, this is a pet peeve of mine.
So he finally arrives and we start chatting - or so I thought. I ended up doing most of the talking. Of course - while I was talking (because he looked at me with a complete blank stare most often) I caught him looking me up and down a few times - all I could think was, "is he looking at me thinking, she doesn't look anything like her pictures?" or "she's not as skinny as I thought" - but then I was like - whatever - this guy isn't even talking to me - Seriously it was like pulling teeth to get him to talk - why do I care if he doesn't approve of what I look like? I don't.
So a few hours go by. We decide to get home - or rather I told him I should go because I had an 8 am class the next morning (which I did) and said I usually go to bed early (which I do). Thank goodness for 8am classes (who ever thought I'd say that!) Haha! So he pays - we start walking out - and he doesn't walk me to my car. Doesn't give me a hug. Nothing.
What have we learned previously about the expectations for myself - if nothing else - I do expect a guy to be chivalrous which includes holding doors, walking me to my car, offering to help me up, etc.
So let's review:
1. he was late
2. he didn't walk me to my car
3. was like a mute - yeah - it was that bad.
So I leave the date thinking it was horrible and that he didn't have a good time. I don't know - maybe he liked hearing me talk. I did date one guy that actually preferred that I talk all the time (he was shy). But that's not what I want.
So I get home and I go to bed thinking - no big deal - I met him - tried it out - not going anywhere.
The After "party"
So the next morning as I'm on my way to class - I get this text message - from Justin - Saying he had a great time and was really nice to meet me - that I should have a good time in Florida. I was not only surprised but like - really? You had a good time? I later told Trish about the date and she was like, "You should've texted him back 'You're Welcome, next time you should talk'" I laughed so hard :-)
So I figured I would just wait for him to contact me. That's pretty much my feeling when I don't really feel like I'm in to a guy. Besides, it's nice for a guy to work a little. So I get back from Florida and he actually did call me. I didn't pick up my phone. He left me a message. Turns out he was driving through this area and wanted to see if I would be up for grabbing dinner. How impromptu and unassuming that I might actually have other things going on in my life. I texted him back and apologized (the next day) and told him I was working to which he responded - I never even thought you might be busy. OBVIOUSLY!
Ha - and that was the tale of the Mute...I mean Justin.
Ed: Very nice guy. A little younger than me. Loves the Phils just like me, but he wasn't exactly the kind of person I thought I would want to go out with - and I do feel bad I kind of left him hanging. He even contacted me a few times after I got back but I never responded. Oh well. He deserves a nice girl.
Jared: Another nice guy - but totally not my type. Older than me - but seemed a little inexperienced for me. Not that there's anything wrong with that but to be honest - I don't want to be teaching guys how to act around me or what they should be doing. We had quite a bit in common but again - I kind of lost touch with him after I left for Florida.
Adventures in Dating - Part 5: Justin
So Justin was another guy I met on the free site. I know - seems like a great place...but really they were kind of all sorts of duds. Justin fit right in there.
Date #1
I met Justin on a Wednesday night after work at school. We met at the Houlihan's near my house. He was late - because he was shopping at REI. Yeah. I was the one coming from work but he was the one that was late. Obviously, based on previous posts, this is a pet peeve of mine.
So he finally arrives and we start chatting - or so I thought. I ended up doing most of the talking. Of course - while I was talking (because he looked at me with a complete blank stare most often) I caught him looking me up and down a few times - all I could think was, "is he looking at me thinking, she doesn't look anything like her pictures?" or "she's not as skinny as I thought" - but then I was like - whatever - this guy isn't even talking to me - Seriously it was like pulling teeth to get him to talk - why do I care if he doesn't approve of what I look like? I don't.
So a few hours go by. We decide to get home - or rather I told him I should go because I had an 8 am class the next morning (which I did) and said I usually go to bed early (which I do). Thank goodness for 8am classes (who ever thought I'd say that!) Haha! So he pays - we start walking out - and he doesn't walk me to my car. Doesn't give me a hug. Nothing.
What have we learned previously about the expectations for myself - if nothing else - I do expect a guy to be chivalrous which includes holding doors, walking me to my car, offering to help me up, etc.
So let's review:
1. he was late
2. he didn't walk me to my car
3. was like a mute - yeah - it was that bad.
So I leave the date thinking it was horrible and that he didn't have a good time. I don't know - maybe he liked hearing me talk. I did date one guy that actually preferred that I talk all the time (he was shy). But that's not what I want.
So I get home and I go to bed thinking - no big deal - I met him - tried it out - not going anywhere.
The After "party"
So the next morning as I'm on my way to class - I get this text message - from Justin - Saying he had a great time and was really nice to meet me - that I should have a good time in Florida. I was not only surprised but like - really? You had a good time? I later told Trish about the date and she was like, "You should've texted him back 'You're Welcome, next time you should talk'" I laughed so hard :-)
So I figured I would just wait for him to contact me. That's pretty much my feeling when I don't really feel like I'm in to a guy. Besides, it's nice for a guy to work a little. So I get back from Florida and he actually did call me. I didn't pick up my phone. He left me a message. Turns out he was driving through this area and wanted to see if I would be up for grabbing dinner. How impromptu and unassuming that I might actually have other things going on in my life. I texted him back and apologized (the next day) and told him I was working to which he responded - I never even thought you might be busy. OBVIOUSLY!
Ha - and that was the tale of the Mute...I mean Justin.
Adventures in Dating - Part 4
Where have we been so far....Jason, Ryan, Rich....ah yes, now it's time for Shane. This is a doozy of a story for y'all. In the immortal words of my friend Trish - "You can't make this shit up".
Adventures in Dating - Part 4: Shane
Shane was a nice enough guy. (I write that and you read that as in it's possible I was like, "sure, what've I got to lose" but I really mean it. It was a great person). I also found him - like Rich and Jason - on the Free dating site. We seemed to have a lot in common and once we started chatting on the phone, our conversations were great! He loved my positivity and I really liked his outlook on life. We had a lot of similar perspectives as to how we felt we wanted to live our lives. He was a very outspoken individual which was kind of refreshing. Didn't hide anything...and that comes into play later..
Date #1
Shane and I decided to meet on a Sunday afternoon at the Dave and Buster's near my house. I wasn't that gun-ho about it because I don't particularly like going on a date where there will be a million little kids running around but he wanted to do something fun and I suppose I figured if he was paying - it could be fun! Ha (again, horrible of me, I know). So we meet up and start playing games. [[Sidenote: He was shorter than I thought he'd be and he was definitely less cute than I thought he'd be but he had a great smile and obviously I'm not going to just be like - that's it! we're not hanging out. I'm not rude. And if I can hang in there with Rich, I can hang in there with Shane. Plus who knows...]] He had told me before he was a pretty competitive person which was fine with me. He won some games, I won some games. And after an hour, we were out of points to play so he asked if I wanted to grab something to eat but I really had a ton of homework to get back to, so I asked for a rain check. He walked me to my car, gave me a hug, and we were on our ways (respectively and separately).
He called me later that night and left a message with, "I know most people say you're supposed to wait two days or whatever but that's not my style. I had a great time. I'd like to see you again." And I had fully intended on calling him back the next day but I didn't get around to it until later in the week. I left him a message and then I didn't hear from him. Maybe he was upset I didn't call back sooner? Who knew....but then I found out why....
The Bombshell
So he calls me on a Saturday night - but I was actually with Ryan on Date #2 that night so I didn't answer the phone and I called him back the next day, Sunday afternoon.
I tell him I was worried he was upset I waited too long to call him back but it was just the opposite. [[Sidenote: I noticed earlier in the week he had taken his profile stuff off the dating site...wasn't sure what that meant but thought it was weird.]] So we start getting into the conversation a bit more to which he says, "I'm just gonna come right out and tell you. I haven't told anyone else this but one other person." So I'm thinking - um, oooooookay. He says, "I got someone pregnant." To which I don't know what to say but ask him if he's okay and whatnot. I then mentions how he feels it would unfair to date anyone at this juncture and whatnot. No big deal. I wasn't offended. I felt more sorry for him. But it was fine because in a way, I was off the hook. I mean don't get me wrong, Shane was a nice guy/is a nice guy but I couldn't see us making more out of our situation than just the afternoon we spent together.
No Proof
So about a week goes by and I figure things are done and done with Shane. Sure enough - he calls me and we chat - he tells me he went to this girls house and asked her to take a pregnancy test and she refused. He told me he didn't believe her that she was pregnant. Which apparently in his mind meant - "I'm still free to call Katie and hang out with her." So he asked me if I wanted to go running with him that coming weekend. I accepted but after a few days I was like - I don't think this is a good idea. The situation is kind of iffy and I didn't feel comfortable with it. So I canceled on him.
I haven't heard from him since. One more person to take out of my phone.....
Adventures in Dating - Part 4: Shane
Shane was a nice enough guy. (I write that and you read that as in it's possible I was like, "sure, what've I got to lose" but I really mean it. It was a great person). I also found him - like Rich and Jason - on the Free dating site. We seemed to have a lot in common and once we started chatting on the phone, our conversations were great! He loved my positivity and I really liked his outlook on life. We had a lot of similar perspectives as to how we felt we wanted to live our lives. He was a very outspoken individual which was kind of refreshing. Didn't hide anything...and that comes into play later..
Date #1
Shane and I decided to meet on a Sunday afternoon at the Dave and Buster's near my house. I wasn't that gun-ho about it because I don't particularly like going on a date where there will be a million little kids running around but he wanted to do something fun and I suppose I figured if he was paying - it could be fun! Ha (again, horrible of me, I know). So we meet up and start playing games. [[Sidenote: He was shorter than I thought he'd be and he was definitely less cute than I thought he'd be but he had a great smile and obviously I'm not going to just be like - that's it! we're not hanging out. I'm not rude. And if I can hang in there with Rich, I can hang in there with Shane. Plus who knows...]] He had told me before he was a pretty competitive person which was fine with me. He won some games, I won some games. And after an hour, we were out of points to play so he asked if I wanted to grab something to eat but I really had a ton of homework to get back to, so I asked for a rain check. He walked me to my car, gave me a hug, and we were on our ways (respectively and separately).
He called me later that night and left a message with, "I know most people say you're supposed to wait two days or whatever but that's not my style. I had a great time. I'd like to see you again." And I had fully intended on calling him back the next day but I didn't get around to it until later in the week. I left him a message and then I didn't hear from him. Maybe he was upset I didn't call back sooner? Who knew....but then I found out why....
The Bombshell
So he calls me on a Saturday night - but I was actually with Ryan on Date #2 that night so I didn't answer the phone and I called him back the next day, Sunday afternoon.
I tell him I was worried he was upset I waited too long to call him back but it was just the opposite. [[Sidenote: I noticed earlier in the week he had taken his profile stuff off the dating site...wasn't sure what that meant but thought it was weird.]] So we start getting into the conversation a bit more to which he says, "I'm just gonna come right out and tell you. I haven't told anyone else this but one other person." So I'm thinking - um, oooooookay. He says, "I got someone pregnant." To which I don't know what to say but ask him if he's okay and whatnot. I then mentions how he feels it would unfair to date anyone at this juncture and whatnot. No big deal. I wasn't offended. I felt more sorry for him. But it was fine because in a way, I was off the hook. I mean don't get me wrong, Shane was a nice guy/is a nice guy but I couldn't see us making more out of our situation than just the afternoon we spent together.
No Proof
So about a week goes by and I figure things are done and done with Shane. Sure enough - he calls me and we chat - he tells me he went to this girls house and asked her to take a pregnancy test and she refused. He told me he didn't believe her that she was pregnant. Which apparently in his mind meant - "I'm still free to call Katie and hang out with her." So he asked me if I wanted to go running with him that coming weekend. I accepted but after a few days I was like - I don't think this is a good idea. The situation is kind of iffy and I didn't feel comfortable with it. So I canceled on him.
I haven't heard from him since. One more person to take out of my phone.....
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